He's the right kind of wrong
by Aribeth89
Summary: We all know of Snape's love for Lilly Evans, but what will happen when Lily 's best friend Miranda Bloom decides to fall in love with him? Love story about Snape, with all the Marauders in it too! Enjoy
1. Chapter 1

___Note from the author:_

___I have written this story a couple of years ago and decided that now was the time to rewrite it and to publish it again. It is a love story about Severus Snape and anyone who doesn't like a love story between him and someone else instead of Lilly should not read this. I have, however, made sure that the entire Harry Potter story, stays true. Snape loves Lilly in my story, but gets the change to love someone else as well. _

_This story has a sequel, which will be called 'Please remember' and that story will take place during Harry 's time on Hogwarts. It is, however, not yet written. :) _

_I hope you all enjoy this story and I would love to hear from all of you. _

_Cheerio!_

_Prelude._

_Dear reader of my story,_

_It fills my heart with great joy that you choose to read my story. When you hold this paper in your hands, know that I am already dead. I choose to keep it a secret for my entire life. All the people who can tell you this are dead. James Potter, the man who drove me insanely mad, Sirius Black, he who opened my eyes, Remus Lupin, he who showed me what it was to have secrets and Lily Evans, she who changed my life forever…. All are dead, silenced forever. _

_And of course, there is Severus Snape, the key character of this entire story. _

_This story is meant for one person and one person only. Harry Potter, the son of Lilly Evans and James Potter. _

_Dear Harry,_

_Gods, what have you grown. When you entered Hoghwarts so many years ago, you were completely overwhelmed by everything surrounding you. You looked so much like __James that for a moment I feared Lilly was gone forever. But when I got to know you better, I realised soon enough that although you look like James, you are more like Lilly. You fight for your friends; you put them first before anything else just like she would do. Your mother, Harry, was my best friend. And she was one of the best persons you can imagine. She had a way to see everyone's goodness. She saw your father like he truly was and she saw Severus Snape like no one had ever seen him. She saw a tormented man who tried to hide everything. _

_Lily showed this to me, Harry and because of her this story had happened so many years ago. Perhaps you already know bits. If I am dead, then Severus is dead as well and as such he will have given you all his memories, because Dumbledore made him do it. Or perhaps Lily made him do it… _

_You now will know everything, Harry, the complete truth. _

_It all starts with my fist year on Hoghwarts. Together with your mother and father and Snape I started my magical education. Little did I know it would turn my world upside down… _

Miranda sighed. She gazed at the children next to the train and wondered whether they would accept her or not. Not that she looked strange or ugly, but Miranda was rather shy.

She played with a curl from her beautiful black hair and noticed a family standing not far from her. The two young girls, one with gorgeous red hair, were obviously having an argument and eventually the blond girl turned away. Miranda saw how her sister decided to leave as well. The girl walked towards a boy not standing before her. Miranda shook her head in disbelief. The girl was beautiful and obviously someone nice, but the boy… He was thin, with too long, black, greasy hair and wore a curious amalgam of clothing. He had something dark over him, something sneaky. Yet the two of them seemed to know each other well. The both of them left the platform and went into the train. Miranda decided to follow them and gave her mother one last hug. Nervously she took a seat behind the two children. She didn't want to listen to their conversation, but noticed she did it anyhow.

"I don't want to talk to you," the girl said.

"Why not?" the boy asked.

"Petunia hates me… Because we have read the letter from Dumbledore," she answered, obviously sad.

"So?"

It was quiet for a moment and Miranda decided she would ask if she could sit with them. They were obviously friends and since the girl had been upset because of a fight with her sister, she certainly wouldn't mind making new friends. Miranda stood up, but froze when she heard the voice of the boy again.

"She is just a …" He stopped abruptly; Miranda had no idea why.

"But we're on the go!" the boy continued, with joy in his voice.

"Ehm… Excuse me," Miranda asked. After hearing the boy's joy, who sounded like hers, she had walked towards them.

The boy turned around to face her and a strange expression appeared upon his face. Was it hate or something? Miranda went a bit paler and bit her lip. She didn't want to make a fight.

"What is it?" he asked, impolitely.

"Severus," the girl said, while she looked curious towards Miranda, "leave her alone. Is something wrong?" she asked, friendly.

Miranda had to smile.

"I'm Miranda Bloom and I… was wondering if I could sit with you. I don't have any friends here and …" she fell silent and stared at the ground.

"Of course, of course!" the girl replied, happily, "I'm Lily Evans and this is Severus Snape. We don't have friends as well. I'm glad I'm finally meeting someone else."

Severus seemed to disagree at first, but he sighed and nodded eventually.

"You can sit with us."

Miranda nodded, smiled again and took a seat next to Lily.

"I hope you get in Slytherin," Severus continued his conversation as if nothing had happened.

"Slytherin? Who wants to be in Slytherin?" a boy said. He was thin, like Severus, but seemed to be arrogant. Miranda, who was trying to figure out who he was, heard nothing of the following conversation but when Lily rose from her seat, she caught Miranda's interest.

"Come on, Severus and Miranda, we'll look for another compartment."

Miranda rose from her seat as well and left with Severus and Lily, but she was stopped by one of the boys bullying Severus. He had black hair, like his friend, but was taller and didn't smile. His dark eyes seemed to see right through her.

"Miranda? Miranda Bloom?" he asked, surprised.

Miranda got scared and tried to free herself from his grasp, but he held her firmly. Lily came to the rescue, but froze when the boy continued:

"I know you! You are the daughter of Mister Bloom, not? He who protects muggles."

"Yes," Miranda whispered.

The boy let her go and she got a curious look from both James as Lily.

"He works at the ministry, and yes, he fights for the protection of muggles. Is something wrong with that?" Miranda asked, nervously.

"No, not at all."

Miranda however, had seen the look upon Severus Snape 's face. It was a look of disgust. She blushed and realised it would look strange if she didn't defended her father.

"It is a good thing that he protects them. It's not because they don't have magic that…"

"You don't have to defend yourself," Lily interjected. She smiled softly. "I'm a muggleborn and the fact that your father protects people like my family means a lot to me."

Miranda smiled back.

"Now, let's leave them alone," Lily concluded and she grabbed Miranda's hand.

Lily and Miranda babbled the entire ride towards Hoghwarts and when they finally arrived in the castle, Miranda already knew of the friendship between Severus and Lily and the fight with her sister. The boy seemed to care a lot for Lily and the fact that she was a muggleborn seemed to mean nothing for him.

When the sorting ceremony started, Miranda was called as first. The hat was placed upon her head and immediately it shouted: "Gryffindor!"

With a smile she left the chair and walked at the table of Gryffindor. Lily was called after her and to Miranda's relief the hat shouted Gryffindor as well. Severus, who was still waiting till he would be sorted, seemed to be unhappy about it.

"Severus doesn't seem too happy," Miranda said, when Lily took a seat next to her.

"He wanted me to be sorted in Slytherin," Lily answered, while she looked at her friend.

Finally it was Severus 'turn and just like with Miranda, the hat shouted quite quickly. He got sorted in Slytherin.

Lily looked a bit upset and Miranda decided to cheer her up a bit.

"You know, we've got classes with the Slytherins, so you'll probably see him a lot. This sorting ceremony is not that important."

Lily smiled weakly.

"Perhaps you're right. I'm glad we're friends. We are friends, right?" she asked, a bit scared.

Miranda grinned.

"Of course we are!"

After that the girls didn't have much time to talk because the food appeared upon the table. Since they both were very hungry, they were too occupied with eating to see Severus watching the both of them. The sad look upon his face spoke more than words could ever do.

_This all was the beginning, Harry, of something very beautiful and something very real. Other people might disagree with me about this, but they do not matter. Al that matters was Severus Snape, Lily Evans and me, Miranda Bloom. I was the daughter of one of the greatest muggles protectors of England. My mother and father loved each other dearly, but in my fifth year at __Hogwarts something happened. My father got murdered when he was walking home. Now, we all know it was Voldemort, but in that time, everything was still unsure. There were whispers of 'Death Eaters' and every student from Slytherin was seen as a follower of the Dark Arts, including Severus Snape. Lily and I, however, decided to protect him against everyone, but especially, against your father… _


	2. Chapter 2

"You know, any more homework and we won't have any free time left," Miranda said, while she was walking with Lily towards the great hall.

They were in their fifth year and the two of them were better friends than ever. Miranda, with her long black hair and blue eyes was reading in her book from potions, while Lily was going through her stuff to find hers.

"Oh no," Lily suddenly mumbled. "Potter."

Hearing the name of her fellow Gryffindor, made Miranda loose her interest for her book. Not far from the two girls stood James with his friends: Sirius, Remus and Peter. They were, however, not alone. In front of them stood Severus Snape, without anyone to back him up.

"There bullying him again," Lily said angry. She drew out her wand and walked towards them. Miranda, hastily, followed her friend. She did not look at James however, but kept staring at Severus. Severus had been their friend for four and a half years now and both Miranda and Lily had protected him since James started picking on Snape. Though it was most of the time Lily who stood up for their friend, Miranda never left a moment to cheer Severus up and to make him forget James 'bullying. Lily had teased her with it, because she knew how much her friend cared about Severus.

This time however, everything would go differently.

"Would you stop it?" Lily shouted when she had came close enough to see what James had done. Severus 'bag was torn into pieces and all of his books laid upon the ground, covered with ink. He had tried to jinx James back, but Sirius had protected James as he always did and now Severus lay upon the ground, obviously because of a spell from James.

"Oh come on, Evans. You're destroying all the fun," James answered, with a smirk upon his face. He pointed at the books of Snape and they started flying around. Severus tried to grab them, but failed, which made both Sirius and James laugh.

"Stop it!" Lily repeated. She pointed her wand towards James, who surprised, lowered his wand to face Lily.

That was a mistake. Immediately Snape drew out his wand and jinxed James. He missed however, and hit Sirius, who immediately started tap-dancing.

"Finite incantatem!" Miranda shouted suddenly. Immediately Severus 'books landed, Sirius stopped dancing and everyone stared at Miranda.

"Well, well, Miranda. I never thought the day would come that you would save me," Sirius said, with a sneer upon his face, "Does that mean you'll go out on a date with me?"

Both he and James grinned.

"As if," Miranda answered harsh, "Only in my worst nightmares, Black."

Sirius' smile dropped, but Severus seemed to enjoy her reply.

"I tried to help Severus, not you. I find it very unfortunate that you are not dancing any more."

Lily nodded in agreement to her friend.

"Why can't you leave Severus alone, James? You think you're _cool_ when you bully someone? Think again."

"Oh come one, Evans! You've go to be kidding. Snivellus here deserves it," James replied, still with a playful smile upon his face.

"Why, what has he done to you?" Lily asked, not convinced.

"Well… Done…." James started and Sirius grinned behind him.

"You know what," Miranda suddenly intervened, "I don't want to hear it. You are great at quidditch James, but that will be the only thing you're great at."

Lily's gaze had shifted from James towards Severus and worried she asked:

"Are you alright?"

Snape looked away and whispered:

"I don't need your help; I'm doing fine without you."

Lily, surprised, took a step back and didn't know what to say. She had defended Severus since the beginning and it was the first time that Snape had not thanked her.

"Fine, then you can face them all alone from now on."

She turned around and left the corridor. Miranda, however, did not follow her friend. She couldn't because she wasn't able to turn her back at Severus Snape. Lily would forgive her easily for this, because she knew how naive Miranda was.

James shook his head and left Miranda alone with Severus. He and his friends were laughing and joking till they disappeared through one of the hidden passages of Hogwarts.

"Who do you think you are, Severus? Lily has done nothing wrong," Miranda said, while she put her wand away. She helped him gather his things and stared at him while he tried to fix his bag.

He didn't answer immediately and suddenly they heard footsteps from behind. Sirius appeared again and he shouted:

"By the way, I'll pick you up at six tonight."

"Excuse me?" Miranda said, completely overwhelmed. "I told you, I'm not going out with you."

Sirius laughed, winked, turned around and left them.

Severus looked at her and then said softly:

"You like him, don't you?"

He got up from the ground and grabbed his bag. His dark eyes met her blue ones and Miranda had to look away.

"I do not like him," she answered softly. "He's a jerk."

The answer seemed to please Severus and Miranda couldn't help but smile.

"Look," Severus continued, "I didn't want to be unthankful for the help you two have given me. But I was ashamed… and angry…"

"I understand," Miranda whispered, while she grabbed her book of potions again. She browsed through it until she found the right page. She wanted to turn around, but Severus wasn't done just yet.

"Wait, don't go just yet…"

"Why?" Miranda asked surprised. She looked up from her book and saw Snape looking at the passage were James had disappeared in.

"Does she… like Potter?" Severus suddenly asked.

Miranda bit her lip and shook her head.

"No, but I don't think she likes you either," she answered, harsh. She couldn't help herself. She cared for him since the start of their second year when they had potions together. He had helped her and they had had a lot of fun during that lesson. After that, she never felt the same about him ever again.

Yet, he was blind for it, because he loved Lily sincerely. Miranda had seen it and it had hurt her badly, but her optimistic side had made her belief things could change. This question however made her heart ache. She was jealous and she admitted it to herself, but she would never hate Lily for it. It wasn't her friend's fault.

"Is that so?" Severus replied, his tone a mere whisper.

He didn't believe her; she could hear it in his tone. Miranda shrugged and walked away from him.

"Believe it or not, Severus. But I am her best friend and I know more than you do. I know you care about her and all, but nothing will ever happen. She won't like you or James, so you both are being idiotic."

She heard foot steps behind her and knew Severus was following her.

"Why not?" he asked, she could hear the hurt in his voice and felt a bit ashamed of her outburst.

"I do not know, Severus," Miranda froze and turned around to face him. "But perhaps it is time to look for someone else."

She looked away from him and didn't see the surprised look upon his face.

"Which class do you have now?" he asked, friendly.

"Potions, just like you, I think, since we are following it together since the beginning of the years," Miranda answered, slightly sarcastic.  
Severus blushed a bit, but smiled softly.

"I'll walk with you towards the dungeon then."

She nodded and the both of them walked towards the class. They both were silent and neither of them dared to say anything. When Severus was walking next to her, Miranda noticed he was taller than her. Not much, but she knew she looked smaller than she really was because of her long, black hair. His dark brown eyes were so different from her blue ones: where her eyes were filled with joy, Snape's were cold as ice. They were filled with hate, anger and sadness. For some reason, Severus didn't laugh much. He always had a dark, serious expression covering his face.

"We're here," he suddenly whispered and Miranda, surprised looked around. She didn't saw Lily, but the one person she did saw, was the last person she wanted to talk to today.

"What do you think you're doing?" Sirius Black yelled. "Get away from her, you stinking, little…"

"Shut up, Black," Severus interjected, "I don't think you want to get close to me."

"Watch you tongue, Snivellus."

The surrounding Gryffindors laughed and Snape started to blush. He drew out his wand, whispered a spell and suddenly Sirius 'nails started growing at fast speed. Now it was Snape's turn to smile, yet there was not warmth in it. Miranda got the shivers of his smile. She grabbed his hand and whispered:

"Please, Severus, don't. Stop it. End the curse."

Snape did not look away from Sirius and made no intention to end the curse.

"Please," Miranda repeated, harder this time. She squeezed in his hand and finally Severus looked at her.

"Is that what you want me to do?" he whispered, his eyes filled with hatred.

Miranda immediately let go of his hand, but nodded.

"Yes, I want you to stop jinxing Sirius."

Snape stopped the curse and lowered his wand.

"There you are!"

Miranda turned around and saw Lily approaching the both of them.

"The class is almost starting. Let's get in, before all the good seats are gone," Lily continued, without looking at Sirius or Snape.

"Okay," Miranda said.

She looked at Snape one last time.

"See you later."

Severus didn't answer and a bit taken a back, Miranda walked with Lily towards their seats.

"What has gotten into you, Miranda?" Lily whispered, obviously upset.

"I don't understand you anymore. After what he said, you still stayed with him. What's so special about him?"

Miranda didn't answer directly but stared at Severus while he entered the classroom and took his seat next to one of the other Slytherins.

"He didn't mean it, Lily. He felt ashamed and angry, which is understandable in his situation. I mean, Potter and Black are really crossing a line here. There bullying him even more this year," Miranda replied.

"That can be so, Miranda, and I know Potter and Black are idiots, but lowering to their standards makes you no different from them and that's exactly what Severus did. I don't recognize him anymore. He and his friends do things only to be considered dark. And have you heard the whispers about you-know-who?"

Miranda didn't answer, but grabbed her stuff and started reading the potion book again.

"Miranda, please," Lily continued, with a slightly frustrated tone, "I know you love him," A blush appeared upon Miranda's face, "But being blind won't help at all. Why can't you see that he's going the same way as all the other Slytherins? I'm trying to help him, but he refuses my help. All he cares is about Potter and his friends. Take my advice, Miranda, we should leave him alone."

"But he needs our help!" Miranda suddenly whispered, "He's being bullied and nobody wants to help him."

"We'll help him against that, but if he thinks that his friends of Slytherin are doing normal stuff, then he isn't the friend he was before. Think about that."

Professor Slughorn arrived and the both girls kept silent for the rest of the class.

At the end of the lesson, Miranda had to ask some more information because she had ruined her entire potion. She wasn't good at potions and if Lily hadn't helped her in the past years, then she would have failed every year for potions. Professor Slughorn however believed in her and always offered to give a helping hand, something she needed badly.

Lily told Miranda that she would go to the great hall and that she would wait there for Miranda, which left Miranda alone with professor Slughorn.

After a half hour, Miranda finally understood the potion better and she could leave the classroom. Outside it, however, stood to Miranda's surprise, Severus.

"Hi, Severus. Do you need professor Slughorn as well?" she asked friendly, and with a smile upon her face.

Severus didn't smile back however and shook his head.

"No, I wanted to talk to you. Tomorrow there's a trip to Hogsmeade. I was wondering if we could go together with Lily, so I can make up for this morning."

"Sure, no problem," Miranda answered while her smile faded away.

"I'll see you tomorrow then," Snap concluded and he left her alone.

A bit hurt she went to the Great Hall and searched for Lily. She told her best friend about Severus and to her surprise, Lily wasn't at all happy about her decision.

"Miranda, aren't you forgetting something? I have to go to Professor Sprout to discuss the exam tomorrow, because I didn't understand that last lesson very well. You will be alone with him."

Upon Miranda's face a smile appeared and Lily shook her head in disbelief.

"Gosh Miranda, what do I have to do to make you see the truth? Hit you with my cauldron or something?"

But Miranda just kept smiling and Lily eventually had to smile as well. Miranda hadn't been happy in a while, after her father had died. It was good to see some happiness upon her face, even if it was caused by Severus Snape…


	3. Chapter 3

Though Miranda had been thrilled at first to go to Hogsmeade alone with Severus, her nerves had caught up with her later that evening. She didn't do her homework as usual, but stared out of the window, thinking about everything she could say or do.

Lily, who had noticed Miranda's behaviour, got up from her seat and walked towards her friend.

"Nervous?" she asked, with a soft smile upon her face.

Miranda shrugged and kept staring outside.

"You shouldn't be. He has been our friend for many years now and we both know him very well. I don't think he'll be angry about me not going with the two of you," Lily continued.

Miranda still kept silent and Lily frowned.

"What is wrong, Miranda? It can't be Snape. Is it… your father?"

The hesitation in Lily's voice made Miranda turn around. She hadn't spoken much about her father since he had passed away, and the fact that Lily now started talking about him made her realise how sad she probably looked.

"No, it's not about my father, though I miss him, very much," Miranda sighed and nervously played with a curl from her hair. "I think Severus will be mad that I haven't told him about you not going with us. He wants you to be there, not me."

"What makes you say that?" Lily asked, surprised. She took a seat next to her friend and looked around in the common room.

James and Sirius were flirting with a couple of girls in the corner, Lupin was doing his homework and Peter was following every movement that James made. The rest of the Gryffindors had already gone to bed.

"Well, you're his best friend..." Miranda continued. She followed Lily's gaze and rolled her eyes, when Sirius winked at her.

"What is wrong with him?" she asked, slightly irritated.

Lily grinned and looked back at Miranda. "I think he likes you a lot, Miranda. You're probably the only girl that has said no when Sirius Black asked you to go out with him. You're the ultimate price!"

Miranda gave Lily a tired look and Lily laughed.

"Gosh, Miranda, you're so funny. What would I have done without you?" Lily grabbed her friend's hand and squeezed it.

Miranda had to smile as well and shook her head in disbelief.

"Lily, you're like the most popular girl here. James Potter wants you to go out with him. I think you would have been fine without me."

"Well, I don't like him. Bullying Snape just for the fun of it… it makes me sick," Lily stood up and gazed one last time at James. "Be careful tomorrow, Miranda. James and his friends will be there too. If they see you with Snape…"

"I'll be fine, Lily. Thanks for the warning." Miranda reassured her friend.

Miranda stood up as well and both girls walked towards their dormitory. A pair of black eyes followed the both of them while they walked upstairs…

The next morning Miranda's nerves were only worse. She couldn't decide what she was going to wear and eventually Lily helped her out. Her friend teased her the entire morning and Miranda was actually quite glad to see Lily walking towards professor Sprout.

_'Finally, some peace,' _she thought relieved.

She went outside and waited for Severus to join her. In the mean time she saw James and his friends walking towards Hogsmeade, which made her remember Lily's warning. She would stay away from them, since none of them would let an opportunity go by to jinx Snape.

After a quarter of an hour, Severus still hadn't made an appearance and Miranda got worried. For all she knew, he could have seen Lily leaving her and could have decided to leave her alone as well. When she decided to walk towards the great hall to see if Snape was still at the Slytherin's table, someone suddenly tapped her upon the shoulder.

She turned around and stared right into the black eyes of Severus Snape.

"Severus!" Miranda said, relieved.

"Where is Lily?" Severus asked coldly.

"Good morning to you too," she answered sarcastic. To her satisfaction a blush appeared upon Severus's face. "No, Lily had to go to Professor Sprout, but she said it was alright if we would go together."

That came out completely wrong and the frown which appeared upon Severus face was enough to make Miranda turn red.

"I mean, without Lily… it doesn't matter that she isn't hear, you know?"

Miranda felt like a complete idiot and knew she sounded like one. Severus, however, seemed to be deaf to her questions and gazed at Filch who was checking every student on his list.

"Fine then, if Lily wants me to do this," he mumbled finally. Without another word, he walked towards Filch and gave his name. Miranda quickly followed him and when she had been checked as well, they both walked towards Hogsmeade. During their walk, neither of them said anything and Miranda suddenly wished Lily was here. It was the first time she realised how much Snape talked with Lily, instead of her. This sudden realisation made her feel a bit down and she stared at her feet while they were walking.

Severus seemed to notice this, because after a couple of minutes he asked, in a friendlier tone than she was use to hearing from. "Are you alright?"

Miranda, surprised, stumbled and blushed tremendously she mumbled. "Yes, I'm fine."

Severus frowned and froze all the sudden. "Look, if you don't want to do this, we can just turn back."

"No, no! I want to go with you to Hogsmeade, but I can tell you don't like my presence. I know you wanted to be with Lily, but I'm sorry, she didn't even want to do this. Even if she had been free, I don't think she would have gone to Hogsmeade with you…" Miranda hasty explained.

Snape's frown got bigger and Miranda got a bit scared. He could run away from her, which would make this entire day a nightmare.

"I do like your presence, Miranda," Severus replied simply. He started walking again and ignored her surprised look.

"What do you mean?" she asked, curiously.

"If Lily truly doesn't like me as I like her... then perhaps you are right and I should move on."

Miranda squeezed her arm and shook her head. This was a dream. It couldn't be anything else! After all, Severus was in love with Lily for like always. Did he just say he could like someone else?

Severus, who had noticed Miranda's look, stopped and stared at the girl.

"Or are you lying to me?"

"No!" Miranda yelled, which got her a couple of strange looks from other students, "No," she continued, quieter this time, "I would never lie to you. You mean too much for me to do such a thing…"

She could hit herself right now. What the hell was she saying?

"I mean, as a friend…" She hastily added on, trying to fix her mistake.

The damage was already done. She could see it in his eyes, but to her surprise Severus smiled after a couple of minutes. Okay, it was a cold smile, but a smile was a smile and it meant something.

"That's nice of you," Severus replied. Apparently he didn't feel at ease either.

"Look, why don't we just keep walking?" Miranda asked, with a face like a mature tomato. "I would like to go to Zonko's, so if that's alright with you, we can go there…"

Severus nodded and agreed with her. With a relieved sigh, Miranda walked next to him. He hadn't run away just yet, perhaps everything wouldn't be as bad as she had thought it would be…

At Zonko's however, they saw Sirius and James, which made Severus grab his wand.

"Um, Severus, can you put that away?" Miranda asked, slightly nervous. She didn't want to get in trouble with Professor McGonagall, and if Severus would jinx Sirius, trouble was what she would get.

"Are you insane?" Severus whispered, angry. "What if they jinx you.. I mean me?"

She grabbed his hand lowered his wand.

"If you show them your wand that is what they will do. Trust me, I know them," Miranda replied, very sure of herself.

"_Nicely done, Miranda,"_ she told herself.

"I hope you know what you're doing," Severus said, while he put his wand away.

"Of course, after all, you might be good at potions, but I'm good at knowing what James and Sirius would do," Miranda said, with a smile upon her face.

Severus couldn't resist her triumphant smile and had to smile as well. This time, there was more warmth in it and Miranda had to look away. A blush appeared upon her face again and frustrated she tried to hide it for him. That didn't seem to work; his smile grew bigger and Miranda felt like she could sink trough the ground right now.

"Hey, Snivellus!" someone yelled, "What do you think your doing with my girl?"

Both Miranda and Severus looked up to see who was yelling towards them and Miranda let out a sigh when she saw Sirius standing not far from them.

"Your girl?" Severus asked, apparently not convinced.

"Yeah, Snivellus, _my_ girl." He sneered.

"Your girl?" Miranda repeated as well. A couple of students started to snigger.

"Not in a million years, Black."

Sirius smiled and winked.

"Oh come on, Miranda. I know you like me. You've been staring at me since day one," Sirius replied with, for what he thought a flirting tone.

"Don't make me vomit, Sirius," Miranda said, with a disgust look upon her face. "If I ever looked at you, it's because I haven't seen such a big, overgrown, stinking, little rat before."

Sirius's smile disappeared immediately, Severus gaze shifted towards Miranda and Miranda herself, was taken aback by her own words, she took a step back.

"Nicely done," Severus said, with a smirk upon his face.

"You don't mean that," Sirius replied, but his voice didn't sound strong anymore.

Miranda didn't answer and Sirius continued, more desperate this time:

"What do you see in him, Miranda? He's a Slytherin, you're a Gryffindor. They use the Dark Arts, for crying out loud. Your own father is killed by the Dark Arts."

"Don't you dare talk about my father, Sirius. You know nothing about him. And I don't care what you think of Severus. My only concern right now is the fact that you are blocking the entrance."

That was correct. A lot of students wanted to visit Zonko's and they were all standing behind Severus and Miranda.

"This won't be the end of it," Sirius whispered, angry.

"No, of course not," Severus answered, triumphantly.

Sirius opened his mouth to say something, shut it again and frustrated walked away.

"Well, for me this day is a success already," Severus said, while he started walking again.

Miranda, still a bit shocked about what she had said, and didn't reply. She walked next to him and bit on her lip. She never insulted people, but Sirius had earned it, had he not?

The rest of the day was much better than the beginning. They went to the Shrieking Shack and when Miranda told Severus they had a ghost in her house as well, he had to smile.

"I'm not sure their ghosts here," he said, while they both gazed in the direction of the Shrieking Shack. "The noises and all only happen once in a month. That's a bit strange for ghosts don't you think?"

Miranda shrugged.

"What do you think then?"

Severus gazed at her and then shrugged as well.

"I don't know. But ghosts…. I don't believe it."

They went for a drink and talked about potions. Miranda was surprised how easy she felt in his presence. Her nerves were gone and the entire talk she kept smiling. Severus as well, seemed to enjoy the conversation; she hadn't heard him talk this much in quite a while. He talked about school and about James and his friends and eventually they also talked about Miranda's father.

"It must have been a shock for you," Severus said. He took a swig of his drink and stared at her.

Miranda, a bit taken a back, because no one had ever dared to talk about her father, moistened her lips and then answered:

"I never have felt that kind of hurt before, Severus. My father meant the world to me and loosing him…"

She couldn't continue and looked outside the window. She bit her lip and tried to fight against her tears. Severus, who had noticed this, said, "I don't love my father. If he would die, I wouldn't care less. But I can tell from your stories that your father was a great man. I can understand how hard it must have been and how hard it still is."

Miranda immediately shifted her gaze back towards Severus and a surprised smile appeared.

"That's probably the most kindest thing, somebody has said to me since my father's death. Thank you, Severus."

Feeling uncomfortable, Severus looked away and mumbled, "It's getting late. I think it's time for us to return to the castle."

"You're right," Miranda replied.

They both stood up and walked outside. There weren't many students in Hogsmeade anymore and they both walked hastily, towards the castle. Neither of them said anything, but this time there was no tension in the air. When they finally arrived in the Great Hall, Severus turned to face Miranda.

"Thank you for today. I really enjoyed it. And thanks again… for helping me out."

Miranda smiled. "No need to thank me, Severus. I enjoyed today as well. I'm glad we got a chance to know each other better."

Severus's eyes followed James when he and his friends entered the Great Hall, but then he looked back at Miranda.

"I'll take your advice, Miranda. I'll look for someone else."

After that, he left her and Miranda, who didn't know if she should be happy or not, walked towards Lily.

"And? How was it?" her best friend asked, curious.

"Completely…. Overwhelming," Miranda answered.

And with a last look at Severus, she took a seat next to Lily and told her everything which had happened.


	4. Chapter 4

Miranda tried the next days to talk to Severus, but for some reason he avoided both her and Lily's presence. Lily, who still didn't agree with Severus about his friends, did nothing to change the situation. Miranda was convinced that her friend didn't want her to get in touch with Severus at all and the difference in opinion between the two girls caused tension. They both realised it, but were afraid of the consequences should they talk about it. They didn't want to cause a fight, but as such made the situation worse. If they had talked about it, then they would have reached an agreement, a solution. Now, every move or word, one of them did or spoke, could cause the other to start some sort of a fight.

However, during potions everything changed…

Miranda got in trouble, as usual, and Lily immediately started to help her friend, but this time to no avail.

"Lily, it's not helping! We need to do something else," Miranda whispered, slightly panicking.

Lily, whose face was almost as red as her hair, stirred frustrated in Miranda's potion. She seemed to have no idea to change the faulty potion.

"Put in some carrots, then stir 3 times counter clockwise," someone whispered behind them.

Both girls got scared and turned to see who was standing behind them. It was Severus. Immediately Miranda followed his instructions and to her delight the potion's colour changed to the right one.

"Thanks," she whispered, but Severus had already lost his interest.

Lily frowned, but kept silent. At the end of the class, Lily's potion was still way better than Miranda's but Miranda's potion wasn't as bad as usual.

Miranda searched the classroom for Severus, but he had left already.

"Well, you owe him," Lily said, slightly irritated. "We all know he's the best in potions. But this doesn't change anything. If his friends keep doing those things, than he still doesn't have to talk to me."

"You're a tough one," Miranda replied, "We all do things our friends don't approve of, because we differ in opinion, but that doesn't mean you have to put an end to the friendship."

The look Lily gave her, made Miranda sure she had said something wrong.

"Oh my God," Lily said slowly, emphasising every word, "Are you siding with him, Miranda? I know you care about him, but that doesn't mean you have to turn a blind eye…"

"I'm not turning a blind eye!" Miranda interjected, "And this isn't about sides, but about him not doing such things."

Lily stared in disbelief at her friend, but then Miranda noticed how Lily's eyes softened.

"Miranda, you're right," Lily replied, with a soft voice, "but he hasn't disapproved of it either."

"Perhaps he's scared to do so, Lily," Miranda reasoned, "He gets bullied a lot. Doesn't he deserve the benefit of the doubt?"

Lily did not answer until they were back in the Gryffindor's common room.

"Alright, I'll talk to him again, but Miranda, you could be mistaken;" She warned her, concern for her friend paramount in her mind.

The anxiety in Lily's tone, gave Miranda a warm feeling deep inside her. Lily really was the best friend she could ever have!

Later that evening, when they were on their way towards the Great Hall, they bumped right into Severus. Lily said hello and a surprised smile appeared upon Severus's face. Miranda saw hope returning in his eyes, and cursed inarticulately. This was not what she had expected. She only wanted them to talk to each other, so she could with Severus again. But if that would lead to Severus falling for Lily again, then everything she had done would lead to nothing.

Lily's voice disturbed her thoughts:

"Thanks for helping us during potions. I really had no idea what to do."

Severus's eyes warmed when he looked at Lily and Miranda felt jealousy stirring deep inside her._ What did she have to do to make him look at her that way?_ She thought in frustration.

"I'm sure you would have found the solution if you had more time," Severus replied.

Together they walked towards the Great Hall and Miranda felt rather lonely when she saw how Lily and Severus kept babbling; they seemed to have forgotten that she was still there. They talked about potions, about OWL's and about the hours they were studying for them.

When James and his friends passed by, Severus's face darkened, his body tightened and his gripped on his wand tightened as he held it more firmly. However, they did nothing and Miranda saw how he loosened his grip a bit and his shoulders relaxed.

Lily gazed at James and when she noticed this, he winked at her.

"He really is arrogant," she mumbled, with a disgusted look upon her face.

Severus seemed to relax even more now. Miranda felt her hope fading away from her. She knew Lily wasn't interested in Severus, but the fact remained that Severus did not see this. And as long as he didn't see this, he would never fall in love with Miranda. She felt someone staring at her and looked up to see who it was. To her surprise she noticed Severus staring at her.

"What is it?" she asked, surprised.

Severus frowned and than said, without the warmth he used when he was talking with Lily, "I asked if you know when we can go to Hogsmeade again, so we can all go together this time."

He emphasised 'this time' heavily and although she didn't want to, Miranda started to blush. She felt ashamed and hurt. Had it been a lie, a dream or worse, a trick?

"No, I don't know that. I think we won't have another trip this year. It's almost June remember," she stated harshly, her voice thick with sarcasm. "I think you missed your chance."

Severus wasn't stupid and understood the underlying meaning in her words.

"We always have next year," he replied. He shifted his gaze back towards Lily and Miranda felt the tears pricking at her eyes. Her heart was broken in two and she had no idea how to mend it.

"Well, we'll see you around," Lily finally said. To Miranda's relief, Lily left Severus alone at the entrance of the Great Hall and walked towards the table of Gryffindor.

"Are you now happy?" Lily asked a bit sarcastic, but when she saw the look upon her friend's face, she stopped immediately. "What is it, Miranda? Did he say something?"

"It's not what he said, it's what he didn't say," Miranda whispered. She tried to think about something happy, but for some reason that was hard.

"Oh Miranda," Lily murmured, with a pitying look upon her face, "Don't take it too hard, he doesn't deserve that."

Miranda shrugged sadly, but didn't answer. She walked towards the table and grabbed a seat. For the rest of the meal, she didn't say much and she saw the anxiety in Lily's eyes.

When Miranda had finished her plate, she stood up and said, "I'm going to the library. Professor Slughorn said there was a book about potions I definitely had to read. I'll be back soon."

Lily, who knew her friend wanted some time alone, nodded and watched as Miranda walked outside the Great Hall. When her friend disappeared through the entrance, she shook her head and looked back at her meal.

Outside the Great Hall, Miranda walked fast towards the library. If you needed some peace and quiet, you could always find it there. However, upon her route, her thoughts got disturbed, again.

"You were wrong," Severus stated, with an angry look.

Miranda took a step back and a bit pale, she said. "No, I'm right, but you're blind to see it, I know this now. Perhaps, it is not you, but me who should move on. At least you have some hope."

She said more than she had intended, but they were alone, and after what she had just seen, nothing mattered anymore.

Severus held his head a bit oblique and gazed at her, his angry look was gone.

"What's that suppose to mean?" he asked.

Miranda shrugged.

"Nothing, at least nothing for you," She sighed.

"I understand more than you think, Miranda. Lily talks to me again and she has forgiven me about my friends."

Miranda laughed, but without warmth and she saw Severus narrowing his eyes.

"Forgiven? She hasn't forgiven you! A last chance, that's what I have given you. Yes, I have given this to you," she said when she saw the disbelief in his eyes, "_I_ asked her to talk to you again. And do you know why, Severus Snape?" She snapped, glowering at him.

Severus shook his head, a bit taken a back by Miranda's tone.

"I wanted to talk to you again. What a fool I was," Miranda bit out, harshly, "Such a naive fool, almost as naïve as you!"

"I'm not naïve!" Severus growled, insulted.

"Oh no, the great Severus Snape is of course not, naïve," Miranda mocked, sarcasm in her tone was obvious, "He's in love with someone who will never... I repeat...will never love him, but oh no, he is not naïve. And he can have someone else who loves him, but he fails to see who…"

"I know you care about me!" Snape suddenly snapped and Miranda frowned.

"I never said it was me…" Miranda tried to hide her feeling, but Snape cut her off.

"I'm not a complete idiot. Perhaps Lily will never love me…" When she heard the hurt in his voice,

Miranda felt a bit ashamed about her outburst and tried to say something about it, but Severus continued before she could say anything.

"But I have seen you look at me before."

A blush appeared upon Miranda's face and she tried to hide it by looking away from him.

"But I cannot give you what you want," Severus concluded. She heard his compassion and felt ashamed about it.

"Fine then... Is that all you wanted to say? I need to go to the library."

Miranda turned away from him and started to walk away.

"I'm sorry, Miranda," Severus said quietly, "But I'm not giving up on Lily just yet."

The tears ran down her cheek and without looking back, she ran away from the one boy she loved so much…


	5. Chapter 5

Miranda closed her books and stared outside. She was the last one in the Gryffindor Common room, but did not realise this. Her thoughts were only focused on the next exam: Defence against the Dark Arts, or at least she tried to focus them. However, thoughts of Severus Snape disturbed her mind. With a frustrated sigh, she opened the book again and gazed at it. She had tried to forget his words and she had focused entirely on her exams, but to no avail. The pain still remained the same and it seemed as if she had only frozen it until the exams were over. Focusing on the exams had worked quite well, though she looked more like a zombie then like a living person. She had lost some weight and the bags under her eyes showed the many nights she had laid in bed with her eyes wide open.

"_It is stupid, foolish,_" she said to herself, while she stared at the picture of a werewolf in her book._ "As if he is so important."_

But he was, for reasons she did not know. Though she had ignored his presence since their conversation, she could not ignore her feelings. She was an optimist and that part of her made the hurt even worse. She had high hopes, even now, when it seemed like he would never look at her.

Miranda sighed again and read the first line of the page. _The five signs to identify a werewolf are…_ If she knew the five signs to identify love, then she would be able to move on.

She lost her interest for her book and stared outside again. She did not know how late it was. _"Probably somewhere around eleven" _she thought.

Miranda felt tired, but she knew that she would not be able to sleep. She was afraid of her dreams. Her exams were the most important thing in her life right now and she did not want anything affecting her points.

"You're still here," someone said.

Miranda looked up and saw Lily standing before her.

"You have to stop studying, Miranda," Lily said while she took a seat next to her friend.

"I can't," Miranda replied, "I have to repeat this…"

"You don't," Lily sighed, "You know it better than anyone." She closed Miranda's book and gazed at her friend.

"Miranda, ever since you went to the library you're like a walking zombie. You don't want to tell me what has happened, and that's fine with me, but if you're not going to change, I'll have to do some drastic things."

"Like what?" Miranda asked, slightly scared.

"First of all, I'll talk to Severus. He seems to know more about it, since neither of you have said anything since then. Secondly, I'll have to send a letter to your mother…"

"Not to my mother!" Miranda interjected hastily, "Are you insane? Mum's a mess since father has died. If she founds out that I'm not doing well…"

"Then change, Miranda," Lily said, while she smiled softly, "If you're really are acting this way because of Severus, than I'm going to tell you one thing. No boy deserves this. You are a brilliant person, Miranda and no one can change that, ever."

Lily's voice was firm and Miranda could hear the self confidence in it. She wished she had it too, but she did not believe in herself. Not after her father had died…

"Miranda, perhaps I'm not the right person to tell you this, but I am sure your father would not want you to behave like this, because some boy has not given you the attention you want," Lily continued, her voice soft and tender this time.

"You don't know what you're talking about," Miranda replied, rather harshly. She immediately felt sorry about it. "I mean, you have never been in love with someone, like I am in love with _him_."

Lily smiled.

"No, perhaps not, but if it changes everyone like it has changed you, than I'm glad I'm not in love."

Miranda frowned and Lily grinned.

"Now, you have to go to bed. Your exams are more important, remember?" Lily stated while she grabbed Miranda's arm and tried to pull her up from her seat.

Miranda smiled.

"Alright than, it seems I don't have a say in this."

They both went to their dormitory, but when Lily finally fell asleep, Miranda opened her eyes again.

"_The five ways to identify a werewolf…"_

The exam went quite well for the both of them, but when they had given in their papers, Miranda immediately started studying again.

"Are you insane?" Lily whispered, "You really need to take a break, Miranda."

Lily now knew why her friend buried herself under her books, but did not know what to do against it. Today however was a beautiful day and Miranda needed some fresh air. Lily was sure the good weather would cheer Miranda up.

"We'll go to the lake and we'll take a break for a couple of hours," Lily suggested.

"Fine, if that's really what you want," Miranda mumbled.

Her eyes were focused on her books and as such she did not see Severus passing by. Lily, however, did notice it and frowned when Severus passed by without saying anything. He was focused on the questions of the exam, but still Lily wished he had said something.

Finally they arrived at the lake and Lily let out a relieved sigh. Miranda searched for a place to sit down and found one near a three. Lily took a seat next to her friend and looked around to see anyone familiar. She saw a couple of Ravenclaws sitting nearby and some fellow Gryffindors as well. A bit further away she noticed James, Sirius, Remus and Peter sitting all together under a tree. Not far from them sat, to Lily's surprise, Severus Snape. He was still focused on the question paper and had not yet seen James.

Lily tapped Miranda on the shoulder and whispered: "There's trouble coming."

She pointed in the direction of James and Severus but Miranda just shrugged and kept studying. Lily sighed and gazed back at Severus. He was done reading his questions and was now walking towards the castle. James had noticed this and had said something towards Sirius. Lily got up and stared at the two boys, curious at what they would do.

James said something, which made Severus quickly turn around with his wand in his hands. But James, who had expected this movement, yelled: "Expelliarmus."

"Miranda, get up!" Lily whispered while she tried to get her friend stand up. "We need to help Severus."

"You go," Miranda mumbled, "He only wants you to help him."

Lily shook her head, but knew it was hopeless. Severus had hurt Miranda too much. Lily turned around and saw how James jinxed Severus. Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape's mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him -

Lily ran towards them, but Miranda ignored everything and just kept reading. She didn't hear the things Lily said, but Severus 'answer made her rise from the tree she was leaning against.

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

"No!" Miranda whispered.

She ran towards Lily, but was too shocked to hear what her friend said. She saw how Lily tried to hide how hurt she felt, but Miranda also saw the look on Severus's face. He was shocked by what he had said and Miranda saw how he suddenly realised he had lost Lily.

But she chose to ignore him and ran towards her best friend.

"Wait! Lily, are you alright?" Miranda asked the anxiety clear in her voice.

"I'm fine," Lily's voice was as cold and fragile as ice.

"He shouldn't have said that. I'm sure he didn't mean..."

"Oh, but he did mean it, Miranda. After all, he calls everyone else like me the same way," Lily interjected hastily.

"You know, Miranda," Lily continued, her tone serious, "I think I always knew it would come to this. Severus cannot be our friend anymore. We have turned a blind eye too many."

"But… but," Miranda stuttered.

"No, Miranda. You have to forget him. He's not worth of our friendship, or your love."

Lily's voice made clear that the conversation was over, but Miranda knew that for her, not all was said. She could not ignore Severus for the rest of her life! He was part of her because she had fallen in love with him, hard. At that very moment, she knew she would not do what Lily had asked of her. She would not forget him, never.

Later that evening, Miranda and Lily had already gone to bed; Marie woke up Lily to tell her that Severus was waiting for her. He didn't want to leave and if Lily wouldn't come he would sleep in the corridor.

"Fine, fine," Lily mumbled. She looked at Miranda, but her friend seemed to be fast a sleep.

She took her negligee and left the dormitory. Immediately Miranda opened her eyes and grabbed her own. She was too curious; she wanted to know what Severus had to say. Slowly she left the dormitory as well and walked towards the portrait. She heard Severus's voice and froze immediately.

"I'm sorry…"

"I don't want to hear it," Lily snapped.

"I'm really sorry…"

"Don't bother. I only came because Marie told me you would sleep in the corridor."

"That's true. I would have done it. It wasn't my intention to call you a Mudblood! It was…" Snape sounded desperate and Miranda bit her lip. She wished she could comfort him, but what he had said was unforgivable.

"A slip?" Lily complemented. Her voice was without compassion. "It's too late. For years I glossed over your blunders. My friends don't get why I'm talking to you. You and your scary deatheater friends. See, you don't even try to deny it! You just admit you would love to become one! You can not wait to join You-Know-Who, huh?"

Snape didn't answer and Lily continued:

"I do not want to pretend any longer. You've chosen your way and I mine."

"No – listen- I didn't mean it-"

"You didn't mean it when you called me a Mudblood? But you call everyone with the same background a Mudblood, Severus. Why would I be different?"

Severus couldn't answer it and Lily turned around and went back to the Gryffindor Common room. Miranda reacted way too late and when she saw the look on Lily's face, she blushed.

"You're really desperate, aren't you?" Lily asked, this time tenderly.

"Can't you see he's going a different path than we are?"

Miranda shrugged and stared at her feet.

"I can't help myself, Lily. I know what he has done is unforgivable, but for some reason, I can forgive him. I don't know why. I don't want anyone to hurt you like he has done, but…"

"You love him," Lily sated and she smiled softly. "There's nothing wrong with love itself, Miranda. But the person you're in love with is someone who just doesn't deserve your attention. I wish you could see that, Miranda. I really do."

Lily left Miranda alone with her thoughts and went to bed. Miranda kept staring at her feet and did not know what to do. How could she choose between her best friend and Severus Snape?


	6. Chapter 6

Lily kept her promise and ignored Severus for the rest of the week. At first, Miranda thought this was for the best, but she soon realised that she had underestimated her own optimistic side. Sometimes she caught herself thinking of her and _him_ again, while she had sworn to forget him. She knew what one side of hers was thinking: perhaps now he would see_ her_, perhaps now he would understand that Lily would never love him.

She tried to suppress those thoughts. After all they had been wrong before, but this time it was different. This time Lily would stay away. Severus could not be given any hope. He would only be able to see how Miranda cared for him.

There last exam was history and Miranda decided to study in the library, since Lily always learned history aloud. At 9 o'clock that evening, she left the library and walked towards the Gryffindor common room. However, she soon realised that she had left some notes in the library. Miranda turned around and walked as fast as she could, in the hope that she was still in time to stop Madame Rosmerta from closing the library. When she turned around the corner however, she bumped straight into someone.

"I'm so sorry!" Miranda said, while she tried to gather her things, "I was heading towards…"

She hesitated when she recognized the boy standing in front of her.

"It's nothing," Severus Snape muttered.

Was it the light or did he looked paler than before? Miranda wanted to keep on walking, but since Severus blocked the way, she just kept staring at him.

The more she looked at him, the more she noticed how bad he looked. His eyes were emotionless, but the bags under them showed the many sleepless nights. His face was slightly hollow as if he had stopped eating for a while. Miranda got the strange feeling that she was looking at an image of herself. She knew how bad she looked, but still, it was nothing compared to Severus's face.

"Are you alright?" she asked, when her curiosity won it from her fear.

He just nodded. Miranda frowned. He didn't look good. Would it be strange if she showed her concern?

"Is Lily alright?" he asked suddenly.

A bit taken a back, Miranda searched for the right words to say. She nervously started playing with a curl of her hair and stared at a point next to his face.

"She's fine. A bit tired and nervous, but I guess that's normal now, with all our exams," she knew she sounded stupid, but she couldn't help it. His presence always made her feel like a complete moron. That he still had this power over her, showed how much he still meant for her. It was wrong, but still, there was nothing she could do about it.

"Has she asked about me?"

Miranda heard the longing in his voice and moistened her lips. Would he never be able to see the truth as everyone else saw it?

"No, she doesn't talk about you. I think she meant every word she said that evening."

Why did she say that? Now, he would know she had listened to their conversation. He would know how badly she hoped for a change in his feelings for her.

But when she gazed back at his eyes, she saw only pain and sadness. His own grief made it impossible for him to think about something else.

"Will she ever be able to forgive me?" Severus's voice was a mere whisper, but Miranda could hear every word clearly.

She looked away, unable to tell him the truth. She could not hurt him, even if this would mean that she would loose him forever.

"I … I really don't know, Severus. Perhaps you should try talking to her again…" she stuttered.

"I tried that. She doesn't want to talk to me," Severus replied.

"I think it's best if you let it rest for a while. Perhaps after the holiday…" Miranda reasoned.

"After the holiday?" Severus interjected hastily, "You think I… I…"

He went silent and looked away.

"I know you tell the truth," the surprise in his tone was obvious, "I thought you would lie to me to …"

"For what? To have you?" Miranda complemented, "I care for you, so I can't lie to you even if I wanted too. And everything I ever said was the truth. Perhaps the holiday is a good thing for you to place everything in the right perspective. After all this wasn't an easy year for any of us."

Severus nodded.

"Spoken like a true friend," he whispered.

Miranda bit her lip. She had no idea what to do. The library was closed by now. The papers she had left their, would stay there until she had finished her exam. She sighed and did not see the frown appear upon Severus's face.

"What is it?" he asked, not sounding truly interested.

"I left my papers in the library. I was heading for it now, but since I bumped into you, Madame Rosmerta will be gone already," Miranda answered, while she went through her books.

"Hmm," he answered.

Miranda gazed at him. Would it be stupid to hope that he would suggest using his papers?

"I'm going to the common room," Severus said and he disappeared quickly.

"_Yes, it was stupid."_

With a second sigh, Miranda walked slowly back. Was love always complicated?

* * *

During the holiday Miranda got a letter from Lily, asking her to stay with her family for a week. Miranda's mother agreed and a week later Miranda stood in front of Lily's home. She pushed the button for the bell and heard an annoying sound on the other side of the door. She heard footsteps and suddenly the door opened. Lily's green eyes, sparkling with joy met Miranda's blue ones.

"Hi Miranda, come on in," Lily said.

Miranda smiled softly and entered. Behind Lily stood Lily's mother, with a warm smile upon her face.

"Hello Miranda. I'm so glad you've made it."

"Thank you. And thanks for letting me stay," Miranda replied, while she answered the smile.

"Come on, let's get to my room so you can leave your things there," Lily suggested.

The two girls went upstairs and in the mean time Lily explained where the rest of her family was.

"Petunia doesn't want to talk to us. She's angry that you can stay here, so don't expect much of her during this week. Dad is still working and he'll be late, so he has told mom to prepare diner already, so we can eat on time."

Lily opened the door to her bedroom and smiled when she saw the surprised look upon Miranda's face. The most part of the paper on the wall was covered with pictures of magic. They all were placed in order and the entire room was so neat that Miranda doubted whether she would enter. Her own bedroom was a mess. Her mother didn't mind however, so she never really tidied her room.

"Mom has cleaned my room before you came. You know how she is. If she sees one little thing out of order, she goes insane," Lily continued.

Miranda wanted to point out that Lily looked more like her mother than she realised, but decided to keep that to herself.

She went in, slowly walking and tried to determine which bed was hers.

"You take the green one. I knew it was your favourite colour, so I asked mom to take those blankets."

Miranda grinned.

"You're really awesome, Lily. I don't think anyone else has done this for me."

Lily shrugged.

"You deserve it. It'll take your mind off things. By the way, mom says we'll get the letter of our results tomorrow. I cant wait!"

Miranda went a bit paler. She really had no idea how her results would be, but her mother had made very clear to her that if she failed transfiguration, she would not have a pleasant holiday.

"Oh relax," Lily said when she saw the look upon her friends 'face. "You probably have an OWL for everything."

"Yeah right," Miranda mumbled.

She stared outside the window and noticed small, dark house not far from them.

"Who lives there?" she asked while she pointed in the direction of the house.

Lily sighed.

"I should have known," she whispered.

"Really Miranda," she continued, a bit louder, "Do you have some secret antenna's or so?"

"Why?" Miranda asked, surprised by the frustration in Lily's tone.

"Severus lives there."

Miranda's eyes grew bigger and she immediately stared back at the house. There were not movements to be seen, as if the house was deserted. Yet, if Lily was true, and she was, than Severus would now be there. She had known Severus lived close by Lily, but this close…?

"I haven't seen him yet," Lily said, guessing Miranda's thoughts. "Perhaps he and his family or on a holiday or something. Though I doubt it…"

"Why?" Miranda asked curious, while she took a seat upon the bed.

"Because his father and mother fight a lot."

Lily sighed and stared at the house as well.

"You can sometimes hear them yelling. It's really awful. I always pitied him for it, but he doesn't talk about it much. He hates his father, that's for sure."

"I know," Miranda said. With her fingers she followed the motive upon the bedspread, "He told me when we talked about my father."

"Girls, dinner is ready!" Lily's mother yelled.

"Come on, let's go. It'll take your mind of things."

The entire week Miranda kept a close eye on the house, but never did she see Severus. At the final day, when she was cleaning up the mess she had made, Lily yelled for her.

"Miranda! Severus is coming to visit us!"

"What?" Miranda yelled back.

She stared at her muggle clothes and tried to determine whether they were good or not. Then she remembered how much he hated muggles and decided that whatever she wore it would never be good enough.

She ran down the stairs and stared at disbelief when she saw Severus standing in front of the front door.

"Hello Miranda," he said his voice not as cold as she was used to hear.

"Hi," she said, unsure why he had come to Lily's house.

"He wants to talk to you," Lily said, while she ignored Severus's presence completely.

Severus nodded in agreement. He didn't gaze at Lily, but kept staring at Miranda, which made her feel slightly uncomfortable.

"We can talk outside if you want," she said eventually.

Severus nodded and turned around. Miranda quickly followed him, but before she could step outside, Lily grasped her arm.

"Be careful, Miranda. I don't trust what he's up to."

Miranda nodded, but was too scared to say anything. She followed Severus outside and saw him leaning against Lily's house.

"So…," she started, not knowing what to say.

Severus dark eyes stared into hers and Miranda swallowed. She had forgotten how cold they were.

"I have seen you walking around the house with Lily, so I knew you where here," Severus began, his tone completely the opposite of the look in his eyes.

"I wanted to talk to you. I have something to say to you."

"Sure," Miranda replied hastily, "Spit it out."

She tried to smile, but failed and stared away from him.

"I… have thought about what happened and about everything you have said and I have decided to take your advice. So, if you wouldn't mind, I would like to spend more time with you."

Miranda shook her head in disbelief. Did she hear him right? This wasn't Severus Snape, the cold sneaky boy from Slytherin.

"Miranda?" he asked, sounding concerned.

"I would like that as well," Miranda muttered.

He smiled, without warmth, which caused shivers upon her back.

"Are you staying here for a while?"

"No, I'm going home now," she replied, not knowing whether this was good or not.

The frown that appeared upon his face, made her realise that this wasn't what he had expected. Slightly nervous she bit upon her nails and stared at her feet. Suddenly he grasped her hands and pulled them down.

"Don't do that. I don't want you to fear me," he whispered.

Miranda slowly looked up and stared into Severus's eyes. There now was a bit warmth in them and it took her completely by surprise.

"I … I …"

He smiled and let her hand go. He came closer and she could detect the faint scent of him. It was a mix of sweat and potions. For some reason, it completely made her loose her mind. She came closer as well and noticed how his lips came closer to hers. Before anyone of the two seemed to realise their lips met and a soft kiss followed.

In a second it was over and Miranda took a step back. She breathed heavily, her eyes filled with fear.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," Severus said.

There was something wrong about his tone, but she couldn't determine what. She couldn't determine anything. Her whole world fell upside down and the only thing she could feel, was the touch of his lips upon hers.

"I'll send a letter to you then, explaining everything," he continued, while he moved away from her.

Before she realised it, he was gone and she stared into a deserted street. Quickly she shook her head and went inside again. She decided to no tell Lily, her friend would be mad if she knew… 

Severus went to his room and sat down upon his bed. Everything was going as planned. The girl had been completely helpless, as was to be expected. If he could continue this, he would get closer to Lily and he would be able to show her, eventually, how much he cared for her. She would change her mind and then she would be his again.

He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. The kiss had not been part of the plan, but it had been perfect. But why was he remembering the slight touch of her lips, the scent of her hair? He shook his head. Lily was his only concern!

When he fell asleep later that evening, blue eyes filled with fear and devotion followed him in his dreams…


	7. Chapter 7

_Note from the author: Thanks to everyone who has been following this story so far! I hope you will enjoy reading this new part. I did my best to keep Snape 's character, but since we don't know much about the younger Snape, it's a bit hard. :) _

_Thanks for the kind reviews, I really do appreciate it. Since someone asked me to put up the next chapter as soon as possible, I worked faster on this one. I hope you enjoy reading it. And if you like it, or have something to say about, just write a review. I'll always appreciate it. _

_And thanks to Voltagelisa for correcting everything I write. The story is only this good because of her corrections! _

_Cheerio and I hope to hear from all of you soon!_

Miranda placed her bag next to her bed and stared outside her window. Back home, without Severus and without Lily. _"Which is for the best," _she thought while she went through her things, _"Lying to her is even worse than lying to my mother."_

She had told Lily that Snape only wanted to talk about her and their fight. She told her best friend nothing of the kiss that had turned her whole world upside. Thought Lily seemed to know something wasn't right, she hadn't asked further. But when Miranda had looked into Lily's eyes, she had felt as if her best friend could see right through her and her lies. That's why she was so happy being back home. Her mother had seen her changed attitude, but had said nothing about it.

Miranda sighed. _He_ had said something about a letter and she hoped she would get it soon. She did not know why he had changed so suddenly. Perhaps he had listened to her words and had decided that there was some truth in them. Or perhaps he had found it hard being without her in the holiday?

"Miranda, dinner's ready! Are you coming?" Her mother yelled.

With one last look at the window, she left her room and went downstairs.

* * *

Two days later the letter arrived.

_Miranda,_

_My explanation Friday afternoon was too short. I am certain you have a lot of questions. I'll try to answer some of them. Feel free to write me all your thoughts and doubts. It will help us both, I'm sure of it. _

_I thought about your words for days and weeks. I could not clear my mind and eventually it led me to believe that your words possessed the truth that I did not want to see. You are right. Lily does not love me, nor does she care for me. _

_But I know who cares for me. It is you, Miranda, and you have always cared for me. Perhaps I have been a fool the past years, but I'm willing to make up for it the coming years. If you do not want this, then I can understand you. I have hurt you a lot and I am sorry for it. Please now I care for you deeply. _

_Severus Snape. _

The words sounded sincere, but something about them made her doubt Severus's feelings. He had loved Lily so dearly, and now he suddenly loved her? She grabbed a piece of paper and wrote her answer:

_Severus,_

_Thank you sincerely for you kind letter. You took me completely by surprise by telling me you care for me. I know how much you cared for Lily and I find it hard to believe that it has changed so suddenly. You told me you would never give up on her! Is she so easily forgotten? And will I be eventually easily forgotten as well? _

_Perhaps my words hurt you. Perhaps I think wrong, but if so I'd rather want to be told so than to doubt about everything forever. _

She stopped writing and stared outside. Did she have the right to doubt him? She should be thankful that he cared for her… Miranda shook her head. She wasn't a fool.

Her thoughts brought her back to the trip to Hogsmeade. He had been so kind, so sweet. It was the one time she had thought he loved her as well. Yet, the day after was a bitter pill to take. She had then seen the love her felt for Lily. She had to know whether he meant it or not. She did not want to be used, again.

_If you do not care for me the full 100 percent, I rather let everything be, because I know how much it will hurt me in the end. If Lily is the one you truly love, then I will accept this and I will move on, even if this means that I'll never have you. And that's how much I care for you.._

_Miranda. _

She sighed and closed the letter. She was scared for the answer. Did she really mean what she had written? Did she really want to lose the change for love? Even if it wasn't a 100 percent, she would still be able to kiss him, to touch him, to love him. And he would her love, wasn't that enough?

No, it wasn't. Because every time he would see Lily, he would forget her and would hope for more. She had to know for certain; even it meant losing him forever.

* * *

The new school year started without an answer. Nervously Miranda waited for Lily at the platform. She felt as if she was back 12, waiting for her first day at school. But now Severus and Lily were not seen together anymore. And Lily's sister Petunia was nowhere to be found.

"Hi Miranda!" Lily yelled and smiled at her best friend.

Miranda tried to smile back, but the frown appearing upon Lily's forehead showed how desperate she probably looked.

"What is wrong, Miranda? Is this about Severus?"

Lily always seemed to read her mind, but for once Miranda wished her friend didn't know her this well. If she would know what Severus had done, then she would be furious.

"Uhm," Miranda started, nervously moistening her lips, "Perhaps. It's just…I was thinking about the first time we took this train. It feels like ages ago and it's just strange to see how we all have changed."

Lily shook her head in disbelief.

"I can't understand you, Miranda. After all he has done… I don't know what to say anymore. I'll always be your best friend, but when it comes to Severus Snape, we both think differently. And although I don't like it, I will respect it," Lily replied.

She grabbed Miranda's arm and together they walked towards the train. Suddenly someone tapped Miranda's shoulder and both girls turned surprised around.

"Can I borrow her for a moment?" Severus asked.

Lily frowned again and looked at Miranda. When she saw the devotion in the eyes of her friend, she sighed.

"Fine, but it's not really not up to me is it, Miranda?"

Miranda nodded softly.

"We'll be back soon," she whispered, after which she left Lily alone.

"I'll search for some good seats!" Lily yelled, but Miranda did not hear it.

She was already lost in Severus's presence. She felt like some stupid kid, who was insanely in love with some kind of pop star, though Severus was everything a pop star was not. He was as normal as anyone could be.

Miranda stared at the young man walking next to her and suddenly realized that they were now 16. They were changing a lot at a short time and suddenly she felt different emotions going through her. While he walked next her, his entire attitude made her breath heavier. In the past years he had always looked a bit shy and introvert. He made himself look smaller than he was as if he tried to disappear in the crowed. Now, he looked with his chin up, his footsteps firm and filled with self-confidence stronger and manlier. She suddenly realized that at 16 and older, relationships between boys and girls changed. It got more serious and there was an attraction that wasn't there before. Nervously she stared away from him.

"Are you alright?" Severus asked. She could hear the concern in his voice and had to blush.

"Yes, sure. I was just realizing how much we both have changed in the years…"

Severus nodded and kept walking. Miranda wondered where they were going. They were almost at the end of the train.

"Let's step in here. There aren't many students, so they won't hear us talking," Severus reasoned.

Miranda quickly stepped up, but stumbled. Severus grabbed her and held her until she stood safe in the train. She felt as if she could sink through the ground at that very moment. With a red face she stared at her feet and mumbled:

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it," he said. He looked around and then gazed back at her.

"Your letter surprised me, Miranda. I always thought women would love to have the man they loved," he continued.

Miranda stared up. She didn't like the tone in his voice and frowned.

"Yes, girls with a crush. If you truly love someone, you want more," she stated.

Severus stared deep into her eyes and then nodded slowly. His eyes were like pools were she could drown in at that very moment.

She swallowed and looked away. Would he always have this power over her?

"You're probably right. But how can I start to explain what I feel? Perhaps you may have forgotten our trip to Hogsmeade, but I haven't. That was the start of all this. It was the first time we had a real conversation," Severus replied.

Miranda wanted to say something but was stopped by the look in his eyes.

"In the beginning I found your presence annoying. You took Lily away from me, but eventually I started to appreciate everything you did for me. After all, you and Lily were the only ones who were defending me against Potter's pranks," Severus continued, "But we didn't really know each other, did we? You hardly spoke, but whenever I saw you look at me, I saw the same feelings that I felt for Lily. I tried to ignore it, but it was harder than expected and after our trip together, something changed. I started to like the way you were looking at me. Lily still came first, but after the fight, I realized it was over. When we bumped into each other at the library, I felt as if this was meant to be. During the holiday my feelings only grew, and now, I'm standing here and I'm trying to persuade you to believe my words."

Miranda moistened her lips and tried to stare away from the emotion seen inside his eyes. Did he really mean it? And why did she doubt everything?

"I see you still have doubts. If you would only explain them to me…" Severus hesitated when he saw the way she stared to her feet.

"I can't explain it. You were really… cold when we bumped into each other. Couldn't you have said something else?" Miranda said hastily.

"Perhaps words are not enough…," he whispered. He saw the frown upon her face and smiled.

He suddenly came closer to her and laid his hands upon her hands. They were cold, but tender and Miranda felt her heart pounding almost through her chest.

He came closer to her and she saw the darkness of his eyes coming closer to her and she suddenly remembered Lily's words.

"_He's not taking the path you're taking…"_ But everything else was cut off when he finally kissed her. She couldn't help herself, and kissed him back, more passionate then intended. She felt his surprise and for a moment she feared he would push her away, but he kissed her back, with more passion then she had ever expected.

When he finally let her go, his eyes showed a different emotion. Surprise, fear and … desire.

"I … have to go. They'll be wondering where I am…," Severus slowly said. For the first time his voice did not sound firm.

Miranda nodded.

"Lily will be wondering where I am as well…"

They both turned around and went their own way. Miranda didn't dare to look back, scared all of it was just a dream, part of her imagination. And because of this she didn't see the truth…

With all his power he slammed against the wall. _"Idiot!" _he told himself. He tried to control his emotions, but failed. He quickly turned around and saw Miranda disappearing through the group of students who were standing in the corridor. Everything was going as planned! Why the hell did he have to kiss her like that? She wasn't who he wanted, was she?


	8. Chapter 8

Miranda walked as fast as she could through the train. She knew Lily would want an explanation and she still didn't know what she would tell her best friend. Lily would get suspicious if she kept saying that Severus was still upset about their fight. She tried to think everything through, but the thought of his kiss disturbed her mind.

"Hello Miranda!" Someone yelled, while she ran past them.

She turned around and frowned when she saw Sirius standing behind her.

"Hello Sirius," she said careful.

"Where's Lily? Normally the two of you are never seen apart!" Sirius asked, while he tried to look behind Miranda's back, as if Lily was hiding there.

"She's … hum… waiting for me a little bit further. I had to go to the … toilet," Miranda stuttered trying to come up with a plausible excuse that wouldn't make him suspicious.

"And you had to run through the entire train to get to one?" the surprise in his tone was obvious and Miranda blushed.

"Yeah, I know, silly me!" Miranda said, while she tried to smile.

Sirius smiled back and came closer to her. She immediately took a step back.

"What? Are you afraid of me?" he asked, with a smirk upon his face.

"Well, not really," Miranda replied, not so truthfully, while she took another step back. She knew he wanted her badly and she hated him for it. Could he not see she was not interested in him?

"I heard you two had a big fight with Snivellus…" Sirius started.

"Don't call him that." Miranda stated heatedly as she glared at him.

Sirius surprised by her vehemence stopped walking towards her. Miranda's tone had been harsh and determined, so different from her usual tone, so shocking to hear from her.

"You're still defending him?" he asked incredulously. She could hear his disbelief and glared at him angrily.

"What is your problem, Sirius? I'm trying to go to Lily and you're preventing me. I don't want to talk to you! In fact, every time I say something to you, I hate myself." She nearly yelled at him, her anger showing in each word she spat at him contemptuously.

"_Whoops," _she thought, "_From where did that come?"_

Sirius went a bit pale and Miranda could see the hurt in his eyes. He tried to say something, but failed horribly, which made her feel pretty bad. She closed her eyes silently berating herself for the heated words that she had spat at him. Her anger and plus her thoughts being in so much turmoil had caused her to act rashly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," she apologized, while she looked away from him, "It's just… I have a lot on my mind and Lily's the only one who will understand me. I need her, Sirius. So please, I have to go." She looked up at him with pleading eyes.

He nodded softly, not completely convinced. Miranda smiled softly and turned around. She took one step forward and then turned around again.

"I truly am sorry, Sirius," she whispered, after which she walked away.

"Finally! There you are!" Lily exclaimed.

Lily was upset; Miranda could hear it in her voice. She took a seat on the opposite of her friend and smiled, while she tried to breathe normal again. The train hadn't seemed that long when she had entered it. Or had she stared so long at _him_?

"I… am… sorry," she panted, "I ran into Sirius and he didn't want to let go of me. It was horrible." She muttered still feeling slightly guilty for what she had done.

She closed her eyes for a moment and tried to figure out whether she found Sirius horrible or herself.

"Sirius? He still wants you, Miranda. Be careful, who knows what he is up to," Lily replied. She leaned against her seat and gazed at her friend. A frown appeared upon her forehead and Miranda had to smile. It was so typical of Lily to know that she hadn't told the complete truth!

"So…," Lily started, "What did he want from you?"

It was clear to the both of them that Lily meant Severus and not Sirius. Miranda swallowed and nervously played with the zipper of her bag.

"Well, he was asking me why I stayed with you this summer actually," she lied, "So I told him the truth, and he walked away."

Lily's frown got bigger. She sighed and stared through the window. Nervously Miranda played with a curl from her black hair and stared in the opposite direction of the window.

"I just don't get it," Lily whispered, as if she was speaking more to herself then to Miranda.

"Why does he want to talk to you so badly? He has never shown any interest in you. Even when I talked to him, he never asked about you."

Miranda bit her lip and tried to push away the thoughts that tried to crawl into her mind.

Lily was right. Severus had never shown any interest for her, but now he was kissing her and telling her he loved her. Something was wrong, extremely wrong! Or was it normal, because he now finally had the chance to look at her differently?

"I don't want to hurt you, Miranda," Lily said, her voice a bit louder this time, "I know you care for him. It's just so… odd."

"You care for him?" someone suddenly interjected.

Immediately the two girls rose from their seat and turned towards the place where the sound had come from. Before them stood James and Sirius.

Lily rolled with her eyes, sat down again and ignored them. Miranda however, turned pale and gazed at the two boys.

"You're joking right?" James asked, with an unbelievable look upon his face.

"Of course she is," Sirius replied. His voice did not sound certain however.

"Why do you care?" Miranda asked, her voice trembling.

"Why do I care?" Sirius repeated, "Because, Miranda, you deserve something better than that poor excuse for a man."

"How dare you?" Miranda yelled, suddenly losing every bit of control.

They had scared her and the fact that they now knew she loved Severus Snape made her fear she would lose Severus.

"Severus is a good man. At least he is no bully like the two of you!" she continued.

Sirius and James stared at each other and then Sirius gazed back at her.

"Look, Miranda. Perhaps we might do stupid things sometimes, but at least we don't call our friends mudbloods," he replied, his voice sounded more serious than ever.

"He didn't mean it," Miranda replied, but behind her Lily had went a bit paler.

James, who had noticed this, tried to walk towards her, but was stopped by Miranda.

"Leave her alone! You know nothing of Severus, nor of us two! Why don't you go back? We were having a nice, private conversation and we would love to get back to that," Miranda knew she sounded slightly hysteric, but she couldn't help herself. Why couldn't they leave? They made everything a lot more complicated!

"Fine then," James mumbled.

He gazed one last time at Lily, gave Miranda an angry look and left. Sirius did not follow his friend however and kept gazing at her.

"What is it?" Miranda asked. She sat down again and tried not to look at him.

"I cannot believe you changed this much, Miranda. The girl I knew would place her best friend before anything else, especially before someone who uses magic who has killed her father."

With that being his last words, he left her alone. Miranda stared at her feet, completely taken aback by the truth in his words. She gazed at Lily and their eyes met.

"Don't listen to him," Lily muttered, "Severus has been a good friend for me, and I will regret it forever that it has come this way, but I had no choice. What he has said, is unforgivable. But I also know that you love him, not matter what. And since I believe in love and have faith in his goodness, I'll say nothing about you and Severus."

Miranda smiled and wanted to say something but Lily continued:

"However, if you keep lying to me, you won't be my friend much longer."

Miranda went pale.

"How? What…?" she stuttered.

Lily sighed and smiled softly. Fortunately for Miranda, Lily 's smile was warm.

"Miranda, don't you know how well I know you? You've never defended him this hard and you've just talked with him privately. If you still think I wouldn't suspect anything, you're not as smart as I expected."

Miranda blushed and looked away from Lily.

"I'm really sorry, Lily. I just don't want to hurt you," she said truthfully.

"Tell the truth, and you will never hurt me, Miranda," Lily stated simply.

Miranda took a deep breath and looked back up.

"It all started in the exams…"

When her story was finished the train arrived at Hogwarts. Lily kept quiet while they gathered their things and left the train. She did not look mad, rather a bit taken a back. Miranda understood her friend. It was a lot to take for herself as well.

They followed the other students to the carriages and stepped into one of them. Severus walked passed them without saying anything. Lily stared at him and then gazed back at Miranda.

"Are you two going to pretend there's nothing going on?" Lily asked, clearly not convinced.

"I… I truly don't know. I kept it a secret for you because I thought you would be very upset by it. Should we keep it a secret?"

Lily sighed and stared outside. The carriages had started moving and Hogwarts came closer by the minute. Miranda got nervous from Lily 's silence and tried to forget her doubts.

"Look Miranda," Lily started, so suddenly that Miranda got scared, "I think it would be for the best, for the simple reason that you are a Gryffindor and he is a slytherin and right now, with those deatheathers and all those murders it would be … wrong if you would get close to a slytherin which are seen as followers of those deatheaters."

Miranda nodded slowly. Lily spoke wisely as she always did. But somehow she felt as if this feeling, this love, could change things for the better. In a time and place where darkness only grew, such love could prevent such darkness from spreading even more.

"You're not convinced," Lily stated, with a smile, "That's the girl I know, I think."

She grinned and stared outside again.

"We're at Hogwarts. Let's make sure we have good seats to see the new pupils. I really don't want them to get scared when James pulls pranks with them."

They both smiled and left the carriage. Neither one of them noticed the figure standing behind their carriage, who was thinking about every word which had been said.

Days went by without change. Miranda grew impatient, she wanted to talk to Severus, but most of all she wanted to kiss him again. In her dreams, which were now filled with hope and joy, she always saw him getting closer. She saw the desire in his eyes, the same as were seen in her ones.

Lily as well, was impatient, but not for the same reason. She knew that it was only a matter of time before Sirius would tell other people that Miranda was in love with Severus. If anyone could screw up everything, it was Sirius.

At one morning, when the owls arrived, both Lily and Miranda got a letter. Lily got one from home, but Miranda 's hadn't a sender on it.

She opened it and read it trough rapidly. Lily who had been curious to know who would send her friend a note, tried to read it as well. When she saw the surprised look on Miranda 's face however, she decided to wait till her friend would tell her what was in the letter.

"It's from Severus," Miranda whispered. She had to whisper; Sirius and his friends were sitting close by.

"He's asking me to meet me by the lake this evening," Miranda continued.

Lily could feel her friend's happiness, but could not feel the same. She was afraid. Afraid of what Severus and Sirius could do to her friend. If Severus was not completely in love with Miranda, then he would break her heart. Miranda would go back to the time where her father had died, and be a zombie. If Sirius would tell anyone, she would lose Severus and the end would be the same. It would be better for Miranda, if she would have forgotten Severus, but since her friend was madly in love with him, that was not an option either.

"What are you going to do?" Lily asked, although she already knew the answer.

"I'm going," Miranda stated firmly, "I need to see him Lily. I know you're scared that I might get hurt, but I won't. I'll be careful, I promise."

The smile on her friend's face was hard to ignore and Lily smiled as well. But deep down inside of her she wondered how long her friend would still keep smiling like that…


	9. Chapter 9

_Note from the author:_

_I'm sorry to keep you all waiting for this part! I've been so busy for school, it's just not normal. It's a very important year for me, but I'll try to write every free minute. :) I hope everyone enjoys this part and that it's worth waiting for. Thanks for all the kind reviews, they mean the world to me! Enjoy reading!_

_Cheerio!_

For some strange reason, time always seems to slow down when you're looking forward to something. For Miranda, it seemed as if the hours only passed slowly. Minutes seemed hours and hours seemed days. But slowly, the evening came closer and her nerves started to get the best of her.

She tried to conceal everything she felt, but with a friend like Lily, it was hard to do so. Lily, however, seemed to ignore Miranda's feelings and kept talking about the lessons they had received this year and about James. For some reason, her friend talked more about James now than ever. How he had pulled a prank with some of the first year students, how he had opened the door of the classroom for her, how he had let the door loose when they both were walking inside and how he had laughed when they both had bumped straight into the door.

Miranda had to smile when she thought how red Lily's face had been when she had yelled at James. He had just stood there, smiling his sweet smile and winking a few times at Miranda. She had looked away, straight into Sirius's face, which had been even worse. For some reason, the look upon his face was not the usual arrogant one, but the face of someone who was deep in thought about something.

It gave her the shivers…

Finally dinner was over and it was time for Miranda to go to the lake. Before she left the Gryffindor common room, she got one last advice from Lily: See that you don't get caught by Sirius, or everything will end sooner than expected.

She knew the value of Lily 's advice, but believed that this time it was easy for her to follow it. After all, Sirius would have to have some magical instrument to know who was walking around late at night.

Nervous, but with faith in her love for Severus, she walked towards the lake. When she arrived there, there wasn't anyone waiting for her. A bit afraid, she started to walk around. She had forgotten to wear her mantle and after a couple of minutes, she felt as cold as ice. Shivers ran down her back and she felt as if her fingers would be frozen forever. She stared at her hands and tried to move her fingers. Suddenly someone grabbed them.

"You shouldn't let them get this cold," someone whispered, "They are too beautiful to be wasted like that."

Miranda slowly looked up and tried to gather her strength when she looked into Severus's black eyes, but failed, as was to be expected. She felt her knees buckle and tried to hide this for him, but somehow he knew it anyhow.

The smile which slowly appeared upon his face warmed her more than anything else. She didn't want him to let go of her hands, which were warm and more tender than she had thought. She wanted him to get closer. If he would only kiss her again, she would never feel cold…

He let her hands go and immediately she took a deep breath. Severus grinned.

"Do I have that much power upon you, Miranda?" he asked, his voice a mere whisper.

Miranda swallowed, moistening her lips and tried to sound firm, "No, no, it's just….you took me by surprise…"

Why did her voice tremble? He must think by now that she was weak and naive. To her relief he just smiled and grabbed one of her hands once more.

"Let's take a walk, Miranda. There's much we have to talk about." He murmured with a light tug on her hand.

She nodded and walked next to him. For a couple of minutes both were quiet and then Severus suddenly started:

"Miranda, I know how much I have surprised you. I know what people think of me. Lily…," his voice trembled, "told me I should open up more and all, but I'm not that kind of a … person."

He sighed and stared away from her, which gave her a change to look at him more closely. He looked better than ever. He walked with firm steps and showed a self confidence she had never seen before. Something had changed him, and she hoped… No, she prayed, it was her who had caused this change.

"I can be that person with you Miranda, because I know I can trust you completely. I know how much you care for me and although it has taken me long to see things as they are truly, I understand how much value your love for me has." He explained, his voice firm and sure.

He sounded sincere, but since she couldn't see his eyes. Miranda could not silence the voice which spoke deep inside her about his feelings for Lily. Should she try to jump or should she step back and turn her back on him? But how could she, when he had just told her how much he needed her?

"Miranda?" Severus had turned his face towards her and had seen she was lost in her own thoughts.

"I'm sorry. It's not easy for me. I now have what I longed for, but for some reason, it doesn't…" She murmured hesitantly.

"Miranda," Severus suddenly interjected, his voice cold, "I can't tell you more than I already have done. If you still distrust me, then I think it's better we leave it here."

"No, no! Please don't!" Miranda pleaded.

The frown appearing upon his face, made her lose her doubt.

"I'm sorry, I truly am. I… do trust you. I just don't trust everything else." She spoke hastily in hopes that she wouldn't lose her chance with him.

Severus smiled again and, to her relief, the coldness disappeared.

"Good. Now we should talk about keeping this a secret from everyone else…"

The rest of the time they talked about meeting secretly and Miranda realized at some point that she never had felt happier. If her father could see her now, he certainly would be proud, she was sure of it. When it was time to go back to the castle, they kissed and when he finally let go of her face, she saw the same surprise she had seen before. She didn't question it, but kept remembering the touch of his lips. When she later closed her eyes, trying to go to sleep, she could still feel him close by her.

The morning after, Miranda told everything to Lily and though her friend seemed to be relieved that Severus had again proven his love for Miranda, she still seemed to doubt his true feelings. Miranda did not and kept daydreaming the rest of the day. Lily, however, wasn't the only one who noticed this. Sirius, who had been keeping a close eye on Miranda since she had told him she cared about Severus, had seen it as well. What was going on in his mind, was a mystery for the both girls, but they hoped he would keep it to himself.

Later that day, Lily had to go to the library to get some books. Miranda asked if she had to come alone, but Lily had told her to go to the common room, so she could start on their paper for Potions. It took her friend more time to get it ready and they were already low on free time.

While walking towards the library she saw Severus walking past by her. She thought about it for a second and then turned around.

"Severus!" she said, loud enough so he would hear it.

She could see the surprise when he froze. When he turned around, she could see how he still hoped she would forgive him.

"Don't get your hopes up, Severus. I'm here for Miranda 's sake," Lily continued. She walked towards him and noticed how his eyes darkened. He didn't seem to like her words.

"If you ever hurt that girl, you're going to have a lot of troubles." She bit out coldly glaring at him.

Severus smiled, but without warmth and Lily felt a shiver going down her back. He had changed so much! She didn't even recognize her best friend anymore. The boy she had met so many years ago, was gone.

"What's going on between me and Miranda, is not your business, Lily. If you can't believe that I love her truly, then that's your problem. And if don't like, then you know what to do about it…" He snapped, smiling nastily.

After those mysterious words, he left her standing in the corridor. Lily tried to understand him, but had no idea what he meant. Before continuing towards the library, she swore to herself she would get to the bottom of this, before the month was over…

Later that day, Severus bumped into another unhappy person: Sirius Black.

"Well, well, Snivellus…" Sirius started, "still trying to study more dark arts? I'm sure by now you know everything about them, with all your stinking, little friends."

"What I know, or don't know, is none of your business, Black," Severus replied, disinterested.

"I don't think so. Let me tell you one thing, Snivellus, if you ever get close to Miranda, your dark arts won't be able to help you. Understood?" Sirius retorted with a menacing voice.

The threat in his voice seemed real, but Severus knew how little Black knew and decided to ignore him. He walked past Sirius and felt the hatred inside the young man. Hatred, and jealousy.

Suddenly he stopped and turned around, "Perhaps it's not me you have to stop from getting closer, but Miranda…" he taunted.

With a sarcastic smile, Severus turned around and left Sirius in the corner, boiling in his own anger…


	10. Chapter 10

Miranda walked down the hallway, deep in thought. She was heading towards the dungeon when she saw Bellatrix not far from her. She decided to wait until the girl was gone, since she knew how much Bellatrix loved to bully her.

While she hid herself behind a statue, she heard the conversation between the two slytherins. At first she didn't know who the second person was, but then it came to her - it was Rodolphus.

"Do you think you convinced him to join sides with our lord?" Bellatrix said her voice filled with arrogance.

"I am not sure," Rodolphus answered, "for some reason he seems to doubt. I used to think he was one of the best in the Dark Arts, but now… He's holding back. It's like somebody has told him to stop or something…."

"Told him?" Bellatrix asked the surprise in her tone obvious.

Miranda tried to get closer to the two of them. She had no idea about who they were talking about, but she realized that the lord they were talking about was none other than the same man who had killed her father.

"I don't know, Bella," the caring in his voice made Miranda almost vomit. How Rodolphus could love a woman like Bellatrix was a mystery to her.

"Severus Snape cares about no one!" Bellatrix suddenly shouted.

Miranda gasped and knew that every color in her face was gone in seconds. Severus, her Severus? No… he could not choose the side of the man, who had killed her father, could he?

"Did you hear something?" Bellatrix asked.

Miranda started to walk back slowly, but bumped right into someone. She turned around immediately and looked into the eyes of none other than Severus Snape.

The coldness that she saw for seconds in his eyes made her fear for the worst.

"Severus," she said.

Immediately Severus placed his hand upon her mouth and pulled her away from the corridor where Bellatrix and Rodolphus were talking.

Miranda felt her heart pound in her chest as she tried not to panic. What was he up to?

"Miranda, are you insane?" he suddenly asked, with the same voice he used for other students, cold and uncaring.

"I…. I…" she stumbled and looked away from him, trying to understand what she had just heard and seen.

"If they found out about us…" he trailed off.

"It was fine until you arrived," she whispered.

"Really?" he said with a sarcastic tone, "Why were you walking backwards then?"

"I...I wasn't…," she lied, but when she looked back at him she saw he didn't believe her.

His eyes had become warmer than before, and it made her calm down. Everything was still the same; she had seen things that weren't there.

"What did you hear, Miranda?" Severus's hand still lay upon her face and it felt warm, safe and very tender.

"Nothing!" she rapidly answered.

"Miranda, please. Do not lie to me. You are like an open book. I can see every thought, feel every emotion you feel..," he whispered.

Miranda swallowed. Why was it so hard to think normal when she stared right into his black eyes?

"They were talking… talking about you," she looked away, afraid of what she would see.

"They were saying," she continued, her voice a mere whisper, "about a lord. And about convincing you to join his side."

Severus didn't answer and her curiosity won from her anxiety and she gazed back at him.

"I'm not an idiot, Severus," she continued, her voice a bit stronger, "I know of who they speak. I know it is the same man that killed my father. You're not really considering…"

"How dare you say such a thing?" Severus replied, but he did not sound angry which was a relief for her, "You mean the world to me. I would never betray you, Miranda. I thought you knew that."

"I did! But it's hard when … when there are so many people who try to make me believe otherwise." She defended herself.

Miranda covered his hand resting against her cheek and removed it, she took a step closer to him whispering, "You know there is only one thing that you need to do to make me believe you…"

He stared back into her green eyes and she saw that he understood what she meant. Slowly his face come closer to hers and from the moment his lips touched hers, Miranda was sure that everything she had heard was nothing more than a bad dream…

Severus slowly left the dungeon and walked towards the Slytherin common room. His thoughts were running at fast speed. Had he convinced Miranda? Or did she still have doubts? She was everything but an open book for him. She was smart, beautiful, funny… and she loved him with her entire heart. He moistened his lips. This situation was going on longer than expected. It was now December and still Lily acted the same way as before. But that wasn't the biggest problem. He didn't mind that Lily didn't have feelings for him anymore; all he cared about was Miranda.

He tried to deny this, but the nights filled with dreams about blue eyes and longing lips, was enough to convince him. He was falling for her. It was the only thing he had never thought of. He had never thought he would fall for Miranda Bloom, a full blood wizard with a family of blood traitors. But how could he care about that, since he was as good as a blood traitor himself? His love for Lily still ran through him, but less strong. In her place had come Miranda, who had shown him so much love. Enough love to fight evil for eternity…

He shook his head. He had to lose those feelings. They could destroy everything… and more. They could destroy Miranda if anyone would ever know the truth.

"Severus, everything alright?" someone asked, behind him.

Severus turned around and saw Rodolphus.

He smiled, coldly, and said, "I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You seemed to be deep in thought," Rodolphus answered, while they walked together through the corridor, "Anything I can help with?"

"I don't think so," Severus answered coldly.

Rodolphus stared at him and frowned when he saw the coldness in Severus's black eyes. He could be the best death eater of all, if only he would choose for their side…

"Have you thought about my…"

"I told you, I would give you my answer when I'm ready. Is that not enough?" Severus interjected.

Rodolphus didn't answered and the two men continued their walk.

"I noticed you and Lily Evans aren't friends anymore," Rodolphus started again.

Severus froze and turned to face him.

"What is that suppose to mean?"

There was no change in his voice or his eyes, but Rodolphus could feel that there was more going on than the man would admit.

"Just… she's a mudblood… You really did spend much time with her…," Rodolphus replied, while he looked more closely towards his friend.

"So? I finally realized what an evil monster she is. I thought you would be glad to hear something like that…"

"I am, I am," Rodolphus replied hastily.

He dropped the subject and started talking about potions, a much safer thing to talk about. But Rodolphus was not thinking about liquid luck, no, he was thinking about Lily and Severus. Something was going on and he had to know everything about it…

December slowly passed and when the holiday came closer, Miranda got more nervous. She could not miss Severus for a moment, so how could she miss him two entire weeks? They only solution was to ask him if he would stay with her or if she could visit him during the holiday.

Two days before the holiday would start; they met late that evening at the lake. He held her close to him and she could feel his heart pounding. It was an assuring sound and she laid her head upon his chest to hear it constantly.

"Everything alright, Miranda?" Severus whispered, while he laid his arms around her.

"Yes," she answered, while she closed her eyes, "couldn't be better."

"Then why do I get the feeling there's something you want to ask me?" he asked. She could hear a slight hint of joy in his voice and she had to smile. He knew her too well.

"You're right. There is something I've wanted to ask you for quite a while now."

She opened her eyes and gazed at him. His black eyes stared into hers and upon his face a smile appeared. She came closer to him and kissed him softly. He kissed her back and she slowly laid her arms around his neck. He pulled her closer towards him and she could feel the warmth of his touch through her clothes. Gods, she loved him so much!

"Well, why don't you ask whatever you want to ask then?" he said, when their kiss had ended and he had let go of her.

"I was thinking about the holiday and I realized that two weeks without you," she started to blush, "is too long for me. I thought maybe… maybe you could stay at my place or something."

Severus was moving his hands to get a bit more warmth in them, but froze when he heard Miranda's words.

Slowly he gazed back at her and looked at her. His eyes were cold again and Miranda swallowed heavily.

"I ... I…"

Suddenly he smiled and Miranda let out a relieved sigh. For a moment she had feared he would be mad at her for nothing…

"I like that idea, Miranda, but I don't think I can stay with you the entire holiday. My parents would become furious."

She blushed even more and looked down.

"I should have known… I am sorry…It was a stupid idea…"

He grabbed her hand and squeezed in it.

"No, it was not. I would love to stay with you, but … it would raise questions. You know that as well as I do. But, if it's alright for you, I can visit you a couple of times. Isn't that a nice idea?"

"Oh yes, yes!" she replied and she hugged him, which took him completely by surprise.

Severus fell in the snow, with Miranda on top of him and they both laughed out loud. He looked back at her, she looked back at him and that very moment she saw how much he loved her. And it made everything feel so right.

His body laid so close to hers, she could feel his chest through his clothes and suddenly something deep inside her wanted more from him, wanted more than a kiss, more than a hug. It wanted him, completely. Severus's hand slowly moved over her back and she could see how he as well had noticed how close they were.

A bark not far from them destroyed everything and they immediately moved away from each other. With a grin, Severus removed the snow from his coat and helped Miranda get up.

"Stupid Fang," he mumbled, with a smirk upon his face.  
"You could say that," Miranda whispered, not loud enough for Severus to hear.

While they walked towards the castle, the feelings inside her had only grown. When she looked back at him, she felt a fire deep inside her. A feeling inside her stomach which made her feel so warm that she couldn't feel the c oldness of the mist or the snow.

Severus gaze was fixed on the gate, so Miranda didn't know what was going on in his mind. Gods, they were sixteen! It was only normal that they wanted more, wasn't it? But… but could she? The words Bellatrix and Rodolphus had said were not forgotten. She had kept a close eye on those two and had noticed with a relief that the both slytherins were still unhappy, which meant that Severus hadn't given in on them.

"We have to go to bed now or people will start to ask questions," Severus suddenly said.

Miranda looked around her and noticed that they were inside Hogwarts again.

"I didn't even notice," she whispered.

Severus smiled, gave her a kiss, wished her goodnight and disappeared in a corridor nearby. Slowly Miranda started walking towards the Gryffindor Common room. A smile started to appear upon her face and there was only thought going through her:

"_I can visit you a couple of times…" _


	11. Chapter 11

_Note from the author:_

_Thanks everyone for waiting so patiently. It has been long since you've heard of me and I'm very sorry for that. I had exams for seven weeks, but now those weeks are over and I can write again! Hopefully everyone will enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. :) Enjoy the chapter!_

_Cheerio,_

_Aribeth_

Finally, the holiday arrived. Miranda went to her home and Severus to his, both without much joy. When Miranda opened the front door, she immediately was welcomed by her cat Mino.

"Hello, sweetheart," Miranda whispered, "Have you missed me?"

The cat curled himself around her legs and she hugged him softly.

"He's not the only one," a familiar voice said.

A woman, with Miranda's blue eyes and black hair, entered the hall.

"Hello, mom, how are you?" Miranda asked, while she closed the door behind her.

"Fine, I think," her mother answered. She smiled weakly and Miranda suddenly felt ashamed. She had fallen so hard, that she had not realised how hard it had been for her mother. Her mother, who had loved her father so much…

"I'm sorry I didn't write you more letters…" Miranda started, while she grabbed her bags and made her way through the many plants in the hallway.

She placed her schoolbag upon the kitchen table and looked through the room. The kitchen was perfect, as it had always been. Her mother had made a cake and the smell of it made her stomach grumble.

"Darling, you have written me plenty," her mother replied, while she took a seat, "Though I have the feeling you are hiding something for me. Am I right?"

"No mother," Miranda mumbled, while she went through her things and tried to find a piece of parchment.

"No? You have nothing to ask me? Nothing to tell me?"

The surprise in her mother's voice made Miranda blush. Her mom knew her to well. She had to tell her about Severus. After all, her mother would be the last one to judge someone. And she would be pleased to see Miranda moved on after her father's death.

"Well, there is one small thing…" Miranda started.

"Hah!" Her mother smiled, "I knew it. Tell me, it is that Sirius guy you've been writing me about?"

"Mom, please," Miranda grinned, "I hate him! It's someone else… Severus Snape."

A frown appeared upon her mother's face and Miranda had to smile. She had written nothing about Severus in the past months and her mother hadn't asked about it. She had already forgotten about the boy which she had spent all her years with.

"Wait, wait…" her mother muttered, "I think I know who you mean. That boy with the black hair? Skinny, pale?"

"Mom!"

"Sorry, okay! It's just how I remember him!" Her mother laughed, "If you care for him, than he is perfect for me."

"Fine, then you won't mind if he stays for a couple of days?" Miranda asked innocently.

Her mother, who had just stood up, froze and turned to face her daughter.

"You want him to stay here?" she asked, as if she could not believe her daughters' words.

"Well, he has trouble at home and … I miss him, mom!"

Her mother shook her head.

"Oh Miranda, I wish I could say yes but…"

"No buts mom. I need this. I need him," she strongly emphasized the word and hoped her mother would understand how she felt.

"Darling, you're sixteen…."

"So? What do you think he'll do? This is a serious relationship…"

"That's what I'm scared about," her mother interrupted, "Everything for you is serious! You don't know what he thinks about this. And you're sixteen. How can you possibly know that he is the one?"

"This isn't about the one, mother!" Miranda realised she was screaming at her mother and tried to calm down. Wow, he really was driving her nuts!

"This is about me being happy," she continued, "I thought you wanted this?"

Her mother sighed. She took her seat again and stared at her hands.

"Yes, I want you to be happy," she finally replied, "He can stay for a couple of days, but from the moment I notice he isn't good for you, I'll kick him out!"

Miranda grinned and hugged her mother.

"Thanks mum, I really appreciate this!"

_Dear Severus,_

_I have good news! Mum says it's alright if you come over. I can't wait until you're here! I've been busy in the garden, since mom isn't really a garden person, but every time I'm alone I have to think about you. _

_Mo__m's not doing well. I think she still misses dad. I miss him too, but I have you and that makes it easier to bare. I hope someday she finds someone new. She really deserves it. _

_Tomorrow Uncle Dan is coming. He's my mother's brother and he was worried about her. He's my favourite uncle. He's so funny! And he is, just like my father was, one of the best defenders of muggles. They say that those so called death eaters are after him, but I think that Uncle Dan can handle them. After all, he is one of the greatest wizards I have ever known! _

_I have to go. Mo__m wants me to help in the kitchen. She's preparing some of Uncle Dan's favourite meals. I don't think I'm the only one who's happy about his visit! _

_With love,_

_Miranda.  
_

Severus read the letter a couple of times and then stared outside his window. Could he….? He shook his head. Of course he could.

The next morning, Miranda almost jumped out of her bed. She ran downstairs and went straight to the kitchen.

"Any mail, mom?"

Her mother smiled.

"Yes dear, it's on the kitchen table."

Miranda grabbed the letter, opened it and read it fast.

_Dear Miranda,_

_If it's alright for you I will come t__his evening and I will stay until the weekend. If your mother doesn't like this, I could come a few days later as well. _

_I miss you as well. My parents are fighting, as they always do and since we do not have a garden, I do not have the pleasure to get away from things. _

_Perhaps I might meet your uncle. He seems a very interesting person. _

_Until__ this evening I hope._

_Severus._

Mirada frowned. Was she paranoia or did he not sound like he always did? A bump upon the door disturbed her thoughts.

"Who could that be? It can't be Dan, can it?" her mother mumbled, while she walked towards the front door.

Miranda stood up and waited impatiently until her mother would open the door. Later she could not believe she had been that impatient….

"We are terribly sorry, miss Bloom. He was found on his way towards your house. I'm guessing he was going to pay you two a visit?"

The auror was someone she did not know, and it did not matter at that moment. All that mattered was that that dark lord had taken someone else she loved. Miranda stared outside, her eyes as cold as the snow that was falling down from the sky. Uncle Dan gone… it could not be. He was one of the best mages ever and now he was lost to her forever. She made a fist and tried to fight her tears. Who would be next? Her mother? She? Someone she didn't think of right now?

Another knock upon the door made her scared. She knew now how much she feared death.

"I'll open," the auror said.

He walked to the door. Miranda followed him with her eyes, and saw him pulling out his wand.

"Who is it?" the auror asked. Miranda could hear a scent of anxiety in his tone. If this trained wizard was scared, who wasn't then?

"Severus Snape."

Miranda let out a cry, ran towards the door, opened it and threw herself into his arms.

"Oh Severus," she said and she bursted out in tears.

Shocked, Severus grabbed her and stroked her hair. Feeling his body close to hers, his strength and love, she calmed down. He was here. How could he have known she needed him so much?

"_This is truly magic," Miranda thought, while she closed her eyes and laid her head against his shoulder. _

"Is everything alright?" he whispered, his voice caring.

"No," she mumbled, "Uncle Dan… They've killed him…"

She tried to fight her tears, but she couldn't. Severus laid his hand against her cheek and stared at her. In his eyes she saw pain and sorrow and it made her feel better. He cared for her…

He hadn't expected her to act like this. Yes, she had cared for her uncle, but she should have realised in how much danger he had been. The Dark Lord wanted him dead and they had done what he asked.

He stared into her blue eyes and tried to fight against his feelings. He shouldn't fall for her. It would bring him danger and her…

He thought visiting her would help him, but now he realised what a fool he had been. She was the only one who could stop what he was doing, he now realised. And perhaps he should listen to her. Perhaps she truly could save him…

He tried to think of something else. He tried to remember Lily's eyes and her smile, but shocked, he realised the memories had become blurry. Instead he saw Miranda's eyes and sad smile, which made him confused. He loved Lily, did he not? And for Lily's sake he did all this. He would join _them_ and make her see how much better he was then that James she was hanging out with…

"Is everything alright?" he heard the anxiety in her tone and slowly he looked down into her eyes.

"Yes, Miranda, I'm sorry. I … I … Perhaps I'm here at a bad moment…"

"Don't be silly!" someone suddenly said.

Severus looked up and was shocked to see the resemblance with Miranda in the woman in front of them.

"You must be …"

"Miranda's mother. You're absolutely right," the woman answered, with a smile, "And you are Severus Snape. The boyfriend of my daughter."

Boyfriend? He never thought of it like that. It was a mission, a plan. He did like the sound of it. She was his, and that was something he certainly did not mind.

"Come in, Severus. It is not safe outside."

He nodded softly and followed Miranda inside. When he saw the hope and faith in her eyes, he almost told her the truth. Angry he looked away from her and made a fist of his hand.

It was all about Lily, not about Miranda… right?


	12. Chapter 12

Severus stayed till the evening, but had to go since his parents wouldn't like it if he stayed for the night. Miranda hugged him and laid her face against his shoulder.

"I'm so glad you were here today, Severus. When my father died…," she swallowed and Severus held her closer, "I had no one. Lily was on a holiday and my mum… She couldn't handle it."

She let Severus go and stared outside, to the street where it was now dark and empty.

"I helped her and arranged the funeral and I had no time for sorrow. My mother came first and I suppressed every tear until he was buried. Now, I feel ashamed about it, because for all I know people might think that I did not care about him."

She felt silent and gazed back at Severus. His dark eyes stared back into hers and she smiled when she saw the anxiety in them.

"When school began … I found something else to put my mind on. I tried to show my love for you," Severus smiled softly, "And my exams were coming up... Now, with Uncle Dan gone, I…I can't hide my pain any longer."

Tears fell down from her face and Severus pulled Miranda towards him.

"It's alright to feel that kind of pain, Miranda. It shows how much you care for them. And do not worry. Everyone knows you're a kind and warm person and that you love your father and your uncle. They are proud of you, because you have shown wisdom and strength when everyone else was weak. I am proud of you," He emphasized the last sentence and laid his hand upon her chin. He gave her a soft kiss and continued his tone a mere whisper:

"You will never be alone, Miranda. I care for you now and as long as I live I will be there for you."

Miranda smiled through her tears and kissed him back. The kiss was filled with love and passion, both of them got lost in it. Miranda felt his lips, his tongue against hers and she moved her hands over his body. She felt his shoulders, his arms, his chest and…

He suddenly stopped and took a step back. He breathed heavy and it was the first time she saw fear in his eyes.

"Severus?" she asked concerned.

"We should never do that again…" he whispered while he looked away from her.

"What? Kissing each other?" Miranda was confused. She bit her lip and stared at the man in front of her.

"No, no… I mean, not like that. You… you made me loose control!"

Miranda started to grin which resulted in an angry look from Severus.

"You mean you… desire …."

"Do not finish that sentence," Severus snapped.

He still breathed heavy and Miranda frowned. What was wrong in wanting each other?

"Severus, we're almost seventeen. I think it's normal if we want more then just a kiss…"

He looked at her and she saw now anger in his eyes. He grabbed her arms and pulled her towards him.

"We can never go that far, Miranda. Never, do you understand me?"

She got scared and swallowed.

"But why? I only want you Severus, only you!"

"I don't care. It would hurt you, it would destroy you and I will never let it get to that."

He suddenly let her go and turned away from her. With firm steps he left her alone. She was completely overwhelmed. Why would making love to him destroy her? Why would it hurt her? Was he scared that their first time would cause her pain like the stories told them? Or did he not desire her? But she had felt his desire. She had felt his hands moving over her body, she had felt his body tremble when she had touched him… Or was she mistaken?

* * *

Severus slammed the door of his bedroom hard and smashed his coat on top of his bed. He heard his father yell to his mother, but as always tried to ignore it.

Why did he have to lose control like that? She was beautiful and loved him completely. It was normal that a part of him wanted more from her. He tried to convince himself that it was nothing more than lust, but failed. His hands trembled while he went through his stuff. At last he found her last letter. He read is swiftly again and suddenly felt sick.

What the hell was he doing? She loved him and he was no fool, he loved her too. The death of her uncle was his fault. He had given the information… It was as if he had killed him personally… He swallowed and closed his eyes. He had to forget those feelings. He had to think about Lily. This was all for Lily.

"_But," _a little voice in his mind said, _"You care for Miranda now. You don't need Lily anymore."_

No, no… He would never forget Lily. She was his first love and he would always be true to her. Yet, Miranda was important for him too.

He took a seat upon his bed and stared outside. He saw Lily busy in the garden and sighed. He used to do nothing else than stare at her. Now, all he wanted was to hold a woman whose life was in danger because of him.

* * *

When holiday was over, Miranda told everything to Lily. Though her friend gave her a strange look when she told her how she longed to be with Severus, she did not understand it either why Severus had ran away.

"Perhaps he's scared," Lily suggested, while they were heading for Transfiguration.

"Could be," Miranda mumbled, "But he said it would destroy me, it would hurt me."

Lily's frown grew bigger and Miranda could see how her friend tried to understand everything that was going on.

"He would not say such a thing if he did not care for you. But on the other hand, if he loves you then he can't hurt you. I really don't understand this, Miranda," Lily sighed.

The girls entered the classroom and took a seat at the back.

"By the way, how is your mother doing?" Lily asked, while she gazed at Miranda.

"Fine, I think. She handles it better then when my father died."

"What about you?"

Miranda took her notes and did not answer immediately.

"Miranda?" Lily asked, worried.

"Sorry, it's just.. I don't know how I feel. Severus was there that evening and that was the best thing that could happen to me, but he left me so confused and I just don't know what to think of everything. Someone is killing my family and the boy who I love says it would destroy me if we would make love to each other. How can someone feel good then?" Miranda answered frustrated.

She played with a curl in her hair and stared at the other students. James and his friends entered and she saw how he winked at Lily. Her friend smiled back….

"_Wait," _Miranda thought, _"Lily smiled at James? Did I miss something?"_

"Something you've got to tell me?" Miranda asked, innocently.

Upon Lily's face a blush appeared.

"It's nothing… James wrote me a kind letter in the holiday. He was worried about you, but he thought you wouldn't want to hear from him so he sent it to me. It was a really kind letter, Miranda."

The surprise in Lily's voice made Miranda grin.

"Perhaps we've all grown up," Miranda said with a smile.

Lily smiled back, but did not answer. When Professor McGonagall entered, both girls turned their attention towards the lesson.

That evening, Miranda was reading a book, while Lily tried to do some homework. Suddenly James came towards them, without his friends this time.

"Hi Lily, Miranda," he started.

Miranda nodded and Lily looked up.

"Hi James," she said, with a frown.

"I hope you had a nice holiday," James continued. He smiled, but then suddenly turned red.

"Oh… I'm sorry Miranda… I didn't….,"

Miranda smiled.

"It's alright, James. Don't worry about it," she said, while she kept reading her book.

James grinned. He took a seat next to Lily and started talking to her about the lessons they had had today. Miranda lost her attention to the conversation until she suddenly heard the word "date".

"Oh come on, Lily. You have to go out with me one time. You can't keep saying no," James smirked and to Miranda's surprise Lily blushed.

"Not right now, James. Miranda has been through a lot, and I want to be there for her."

"Alright, I understand. I would like you that much if you aren't who you are," James muttered.

He stood up and left them.

Miranda immediately hit Lily with her book.

"What are you thinking?" she whispered, "You can't use me as an excuse."

"What did you want me to say?" Lily answered, her face red, "I can't go out with him. He's…. he's…."

"He's what?" Miranda interjected, "Come on, Lily. You have never gone out before. You're the most beautiful girl in this entire school, and also the only one who hasn't been out on a date yet."

"You haven't either," Lily whispered.

"Yes, I have."

"No, you haven't. Your relationship with Severus is a mystery to everyone, except to us," Lily snapped.

"Alright, alright. I won't push you. But I don't like it when I'm being used like that. I'm not some pathetic kid who needs comfort every five minutes."

"Not from me, no. But you wouldn't say no to it when it was Severus," Lily said, while she stood up.

Miranda turned red.

"Fine, fine. Do what you want. Use me as an excuse if it makes you feel better. But I thought you were stronger than that."

After saying that, she stood up and left the common room, leaving Lily completely confused behind.

* * *

The school year continued slowly and the relationship between Miranda and Severus stayed the same. They only kissed and hugged and from the minute it got a bit more heated, Severus took a step back and left her. It left Miranda frustrated and completely confused. She tried to talk about it with him, but he changed subjects easily, which frustrated her even more.

Why didn't he want to get closer? Was he afraid she would find something? More and more Miranda realised something was going on without her knowing it. Severus was up to something, she could just feel it.

Lately she had seen Bellatrix and Rodolphus hanging around Severus and it scared her. But if she had known what they were planning, she would have stopped it. Now, it was already too late…


	13. Chapter 13

When the holiday was over, Miranda was a mess. At the end of the school year Severus had agreed to stay a couple of weeks at her home. She had been thrilled and had counted the days until Severus would arrive. That day however never came.

She had sent several letters to him, but got no answer. Her mother became worried, but Miranda tried to keep a happy face, although she was dying inside. She tried to push back her fears, but when she lay in her bed late at night, thoughts of the past year came crawling back. The conversation with Bellatrix and Rodolphus, the fear in his eyes, the fact that he was scared to make love to her… Something was terribly wrong and she had no idea what the hell was going on.

Finally, the last day a letter had arrived, but it had explained nothing.

_Miranda,_

_Do not worry. We will see each other the new school year. Please stop writing. There is a lot going on here at home._

_Severus._

He had not written he loved her. He had not written he felt sorry for not being with her. The man who had written that letter was a man she did not know and it scared her more then everything.

She decided to write a letter to Lily, something she should have done earlier. But Miranda was afraid, afraid of what Lily would say or do. Her friend would defend her and protect her, but would also tell her the truth. And the truth was something she now was very scared of.

_Dear Lily,_

_I have not written you this holiday and I'm very sorry for it. The days have passed slowly and as time passed, my heart ached more and more. Severus has left me standing in the cold. I haven't seen him this entire holiday and every letter I have sent was ignored. _

_I am frightened. More frightened to lose something I need this much, then frightened of those deatheathers. _

_Mother is worried as well. She thinks he has broken of the relationship, but I cannot believe it. No, I will not believe it! He has shown me so much love, Lily, how can he leave me like this? Something is going on and I have no idea what. I fear this has something to do with Bellatrix. She has been hanging around him for quite some time now and we both know how evil that woman is. _

_Lily, what must I do? I look forward to this new school year, but on the other hand I am afraid to go to the station. Who knows what I will find there? Please write me soon!_

_Miranda. _

But Lily had not answered her letter, which had worried Miranda even more. When finally the 1st of September arrived, Miranda hurried to the platform. She found Lily easily, but she decided to wait until her friend would see her. Luckily, that happened soon enough.

"Miranda!" Lily shouted.

Her best friend ran straight towards her and hugged her.

"I am so sorry I haven't written you any letters back! But my owl, he's sick and I couldn't find any other in such short time. I'm really sorry. Are you alright?"

Miranda tried to smile, but seeing the anxiety in her friends' face made her lose her strength. She started crying.

"Oh Miranda," Lily whispered. She held Miranda closely and stroked her hair.

"You're my best friend and I hate it when I see you hurt like this. I am going to talk to Severus immediately," Lily continued, with a determined voice.

"No, no," Miranda muttered, "Please, don't! He's my … boyfriend. I must talk to him."

Lily frowned. Apparently she wasn't convinced that Miranda was strong enough to do such a thing.

"Really, Lily. It's for the best, trust me!" Miranda said, her voice stronger this time, "I was just worried that you were mad at me and … If I had known…"

Lily smiled.

"I am truly sorry, Miranda. I wanted to come and see you, but my parents didn't like the idea. They were frightened something would happen to me. But here I am and I am here for you!"

Miranda and Lily laughed together.

"That's better," Lily said, with a smile, "Now, you should go straight to him."

Miranda nodded. She hugged her friend again and then left her, while she searched for Severus. She found him easily. He was standing near the train, as if he was waiting for someone. Miranda hoped, no she prayed he was waiting for her.

"Severus!" she yelled.

He turned quickly around and when he saw her, she saw a coldness in his eyes, which made her hope disappear.

"Is everything alright?" she asked, her voice was trembling.

He stared at her and did not answer immediately. Miranda got worried, but did not realize how bad she looked. Severus however did saw it.

Had he made a mistake by not visiting her? Had he not made the right choice? He looked away from those beautiful eyes, which made him feel weak and stared at Lily, who was waiting anxious for Miranda's return. He had seen them talking together and had seen how Miranda had started he had to do this… he had to take this opportunity so Lily could see how strong he was. How better he was then James and every other guy that was hanging around her. Yet, he could not stand the idea either that he would hurt Miranda. But now, it seemed like he already had done just that.

He gazed back at Miranda and tried not to hug her. He tried to fight every emotion in his body that was telling him to hug her and kiss her and tell her that everything was alright. Because it was not alright. If she would know what he had done in the holiday, she would hate him. She would leave him and that would leave him without Lily, but also without Miranda, which he now loved as well.

He could not end the relationship, because he did not want to lose either one of them. But, their relationship would never be the same. He could not show her his love anymore, because if anyone would find out not only his life would be in danger, but also Miranda's. If she would die because of him… It was a thought he could not bear.

"Yes, everything is alright," he answered, coldly.

When he saw the hurt in her eyes, he felt an ache go through him. He had made the right choice, he was sure of it. But why did it hurt so much then?

"Why have you not answered my letters? Why didn't you tell me you weren't coming?" she asked, her voice trembled.

"I had no time. There were things going on…"

" What kind of things, Severus?" Miranda interjected, "Since when do we keep secrets to each other? I thought we loved each other."

Severus did not answer and looked away. Miranda tried to fight her tears and came closer. She laid her hand upon his left arm and tried to tell him something. But suddenly Severus turned around and pushed her back.

"What do you think you're doing?" he yelled.

A couple of students turned around, curious what was going on. Miranda, pale and trembling, stared at the man she loved so much.

"What I've always done," she whispered.

Her blue eyes met his black and for a moment she saw back Severus and not the coldhearted man who had pushed her back minutes ago. But then the coldness appeared again and Miranda had the feeling she had lost him.

"We'll talk about this another time. Go back to Lily. I'll send you a letter when I want to talk to you," Severus said, his voice cold and uncaring.

He left her there, without any other explanation. Miranda had the feeling that this wasn't the last time she would be left like this…

"He pushed you?" Lily asked, surprised, while they both took a seat in the train.

Miranda nodded and placed her bag next to her. She searched through it and found his last letter. Without saying anything, she gave it to Lily.

Her friend read it through and the frown that appeared was reassuring. She wasn't seeing things, Severus was changing, into something she did not like.

At the moment Lily wanted to say something, James and Sirius arrived.

"Hello!" James said, cheerful. Sirius just winked and took a seat next to Miranda.

"So how was the holiday?" James continued, still with a smile.

"Fine," Miranda lied. Sirius seemed to realize this, because the look he gave her made her blush.

"Really?" he asked, while he leaned back, "Mine was fine as well. Staying with James 'family… There's really nothing better."

James smiled and then gazed at Lily.

"So.. You haven't sent out many letters have you?" he asked.

"No, my owl is sick. Sorry," Lily answered, while she had hidden Severus' letter.

"We saw you talking with Severus. Has he hurt you?" Sirius asked suddenly.

Miranda, a bit taken a back, did not dare to look at him. She was afraid of what he would see.

"No, he hasn't," she answered. She played with a curl of her hair and stared outside. In her thoughts she kept going through the conversation she had had with Severus. Why had he hated it when she had touched him? Had she hurt him? No, that could not be. And what kind of_ things_ had happened in the holiday? Why did he not want to talk to her about it?

The questions made her heart ache, so she tried to focus on James and Sirius. That wasn't helping either.

"Have you heard what they are going to do this year for the last years?" James asked, with a smirk.

"No, I haven't," Lily answered, curious," What is it this time?"

"A ball," James said and smiled.

Lily went pale then red when she saw the look in James' eyes and then back pale when she saw the look in Miranda's eyes.

"You're kidding right?" Miranda asked, while she nervously played with her sweater.

"No, I'm not. My father knows someone who works in the ministry and he had told him that they were planning a ball. Isn't that great?" James' enthusiasm made both girls smile.

"You're the only one who feels that way," Sirius sighed and stared at Miranda.

"You have to find a date back then and I don't think Severus is an option," he continued, his eyes almost as darks as Severus.

Miranda swallowed.

"I .. I wasn't…"

"Why would Miranda ask Severus? There is nothing going on between the two of them," Lily suddenly intervened, "And if you're thinking that being jealous is going to help you to ask her out, it is not. Any guy that wants to date Miranda, has to go past me."

"No problem," Sirius answered immediately, "I'll just let James handle you then."

"Excuse me?" Lily said, her face as red as her hair, "I'm not going with James."

"No?" James asked, hurt, "Come on, Lily. Please… Do I have to beg or something?"

"That could help," Lily said harsh.

The boys grinned.

"No problem then," James had a smirk upon his face, "Everything for you, Lily."

He grabbed her hand, squeezed in it and then left them confused.

"Do guys always give you this kind of feeling?" Lily asked surprised.

Miranda, thinking about Severus, answered truthfully: "Yes, they do."

When they arrived in the Great Hall, everyone knew there was going to be a ball. When it would be was not yet known, but most thought it would be in December. During the holiday.

"Lily," Miranda started, while she played with the food upon her plate, "Do you think it would be a good idea to ask Severus …"

"No," Lily hastily interjected, "If he keeps treating you this way, the best thing for you to do, is to leave him alone."

Miranda nodded softly. She had thought Lily would say such a thing. She stared at the Slytherin' table and saw Severus sitting next to someone she did not know. They all had the same cold expression, which wasn't a surprise for her. She had been thinking what kind of things would have happened and she could only think of one. But if it was true then he had betrayed her and then she should leave him and break her own heart… Could she do that? Thinking about her father and Uncle Dan, she nodded. Yes, she could do that.


	14. Chapter 14

_Note from the author: Sorry, this one has taken me a bit longer :) Hadn't much inspiration but this evening, it was back! I hope you enjoy this story! And thanks everyone for reading it and reviewing it :)_

* * *

Miranda slowly walked through the corridor. Her eyes were focused on nothing. Someone who would pass her would think that she was daydreaming. Miranda wished she was… It felt as if there was a hole inside her. As if she suddenly had lost everything she believed in.

The sounds of her shoes on the stones echoed through the corridor. Every step made the pain harder. Had she been stupid? Had she seen things that weren't there? She stopped walking and stared around her. She somehow had ended up in the same corridor where she had met Severus during her exams. Why did everything kept reminding her of him?

Their relationship wasn't over. He hadn't put an end to it. He had kissed her this week. Cold, without love, without passion, but it was still a kiss. One kiss, no letters, no words, no explanation. Miranda shook her head. Why did she keep playing his games? She should have ended it herself. Every day she realized more and more that he had chosen a path that she could not take. Lily had been right all along, but she, the stupid girl she was, had decided to ignore her friend's advice.

"Miranda?" someone asked from behind her.

She turned around to see who it was and saw Sirius standing behind her. He was alone.

"Hi Sirus," she answered, her voice a mere whisper.

"You don't look too good," he said, while he walked towards her.

Miranda shrugged and removed her bag from her shoulder. She placed it between her legs and gazed at him. As always, he had some kind of bad boy's attitude around him. He was handsome; she could not lie about that. But for some reason, she had never been interested in him. Perhaps it was because he believed in long relationships, with trust and faith with a happy ending. But her trust had been misplaced…

He held his head a bit oblique and frowned.

"Is this about Secretus?"

"If you're going to continue talking about him like that, then we will never have a decent conversation," Miranda stated. She grabbed her bag and wanted to turn around, but Sirius grabbed her arm.

"I'm sorry," he said.

With an unbelievable look she gazed at him.

"Really, I know you do not trust me, but for you, I would do anything."

Miranda shook her head, while a she bit her lip. She tried not to laugh, but for some reason Sirius saw she was laughing at him.

"Oh, are we going that way, huh?" he said with a smirk.

"Sirius, please. You're dating 5 girls at once and then you're expecting me to believe you can have sincere feelings? Please stop, it's the best joke I've ever heard."

Miranda turned around with a grin and walked away from him.

"I would never choose you second," Sirius suddenly said.

Miranda froze. Her heart start beating in her chest and she quickly turned around.

"What's that suppose to mean?" she whispered.

It was Sirius' time to shrug.

"It means, what it means," he answered. Careless, he leaned against the wall and gazed at her.

Miranda went pale. Only she had known how much Severus had loved Lily. If anyone would ever find that out… Severus would be in so much trouble. The fact that he was her boyfriend was already too much to tell anyone… And she was a full blood wizard!

"He waited until last year to tell you his feelings, Miranda. Come on. He never showed you any attention and now suddenly he tells you he loves you. He's just trying to get close to someone else."

Miranda started breathing again. Sirius didn't know about Lily. And he was wrong about Severus, as always.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You don't even know who Severus is. But I know who you are and I know what kind of a bully you are. What you're trying to do right now is so low…"

"Still defending him, I see," Sirius interjected, "Then why do you look as if you have lost everything?"

Miranda's thought ran at full speed. She had to lie…

"Because I lost my uncle recently and before that my father and it's kind of hard when you're in that kind of a position," she answered harsh.

Sirius' smile faded.

"I am … sorry. I should have known." He uttered softly, remorse thick in his voice.

He came closer to her and Miranda nervously pulled on her clothes.

He slowly raised his hand and touched her cheek.

"What... what are you doing?" she asked, while her heart beat rapidly.

"Showing you how much I really do care about you," he muttered, while his face came closer to hers.

His eyes gazed at her lips and Miranda knew what was about to happen. He wanted to kiss her! But why didn't she push him away? Sirius still came closer, but from the corner of her eye, she suddenly noticed some movement. She immediately stepped back and saw Severus standing not far from the both of them. Sirius, who at first had been surprised, followed her gaze and noticed Severus as well. He shook his head and sneered.

"Do you have a problem or something?" he asked, while his hand went through his hair.

Severus stared coldly at the both of them and did not answer immediately. Miranda opened her mouth to say something, but suddenly Severus did answer.

"I do not have a problem. Blood traitors attract each other, don't they?"

Miranda could not believe what she just had heard. She swallowed and tried to fight her tears.

"Blood traitors?" she repeated, while she tried to get closer to Severus.

He gazed at her coldly then turned around and left her. Sirius stared at her and made a movement. Miranda immediately turned away from him and left him alone as well. She ran straight to the corridor where Severus had disappeared in, but when she entered there was no trace of him to be found. She bit her lip and shook her head. Why didn't he even try to convince her she thought wrong?

* * *

Severus walked fast, though he had no idea where he was going. Why did it hurt so much? This was for the better! If Miranda would found someone else, then all his problems would be over. _"It must be because it's Black," he thought to himself. _What else could it be? He hated Black and seeing her with someone like him… It was not jealousy; he was just trying to protect her. He was just feeling hatred and anger, because he always felt that when he saw Sirius.

Severus nodded. Yes, it was just hatred. No love, no jealousy. He slowed down and looked around. He was alone and he was glad that he was alone. If anyone would see his face right now, they would know what was going on between him and Miranda.

Severus swallowed. He had chosen his path and he was unable to go back. He didn't want to go back, did he? Of course not! He had made that choice years ago and he had followed the right path. But why did he doubt it every time he saw_ her_ blue eyes. Did he care for her that much? Severus closed his eyes and finally admitted to himself the thing he had known for months. Yes, he did care for her that much. Yes, he did love her and yes, he wanted to be with her for the rest of his life. But because of that same love, he would tear them apart. If was for the better. He would not be able to face the hurt and the pain in Miranda's eyes when she would know the truth.

He started walking again; suddenly sure of what he had to do.

* * *

"So he saw you almost kissing with Black and then called you a blood traitor?" Lily repeated. She lifted one eyebrow and gazed at the first years that were entering the common room.

"It's just jealousy, Miranda. He was trying to protect himself. He's a guy and guys don't show their emotions. Perhaps you can talk it out?"

Miranda frowned and shook Lily's arm.

"Hello, where is Lily Evans? The friend who would tell me to end my relationship with Severus because he called her a mud blood? It's the same situation, Lily. Only now, you're choosing his side!"

"The same situation?" Lily said, while she pulled her arm away, "He's not in love with me, Miranda. Our friendship was breaking down and he did not doubt or paused before he said that. You told me yourself, he had been silent until you wanted to say something. He saw what Sirius wanted him to see. I wish you would realize that Miranda."

Lily sighed and went through her papers. They had just finished their lesson of Transfiguration, which had been harder than before. Both Lily and Miranda had been unsuccessful in changing their table into a horse. Because of this McGonagall had given them extra homework. But Miranda already knew why that simple transfiguration had not worked like it should. She had been occupied by Severus. It was, however, nothing for Lily, to fail such an exercise. Her friend was hiding something from her and she wanted to know what it was.

"Lily, is there something you be should tell me?" Miranda asked innocently.

Lily looked up and smiled.

"No, why?"

"You seem a bit distracted, that's all. You know you can tell me anything right?" Miranda answered.

Lily looked at her and then her smile faded.

"You'll laugh."

"I would never!" Miranda said reassuringly.

"Fine then. I have a date with James Potter," Lily muttered, her face turned red in an instant.

Miranda stared unbelievable at her friend and then started laughing. Angry, Lily closed her books.

"See, I told you! You said you wouldn't laugh."

Miranda stopped laughing, but still smiled.

"I just like it when I'm right. I told you last year that you should go out with him and now you're finally taking my advice! I'm not laughing because you're dating Potter. He might be a bully, but he's madly in love with you," Miranda said, while she squeezed her friend's hand.

Lily smiled.

"Oh alright then," Lily sighed and looked through the room.

Miranda followed her gaze and saw James standing not far from them. When he saw the both of them looking at him, he smiled and waved. The both girls waved back.

Miranda shook her head and turned back to her books.

"There is something else…," Lily started.

"Mmm," Miranda mumbled, not really listening.

"I told Sirius you're going out with him." Lily confide quietly.

Slowly Miranda looked away from her papers, back to Lily.

"What?" she whispered, slowly.

"Yes, well, I didn't want to go out alone. I want you to be there as well, because I'm scared it's just some mean joke. And I can't ask Severus, can I? And it's not a real date for the two of you. You would go as my… chaperone."

"Your chaperone?" Miranda repeated.

Lily nodded.

"That's the lamest excuse I have ever heard."

They both started laughing, but Miranda did realize that this was an opportunity; an opportunity to put her past behind, to move on, to become happy.

"I'll do it," she said suddenly.

Lily stared at her in disbelief.

"Really? I thought you would put up a fight or something…"

Miranda smiled.

"Lily, you're my best friend. For you I would do anything." Miranda stated with conviction.

Lily smiled. She stood up from the table and walked towards Miranda. She hugged her and whispered.

"It must have been fateful that day on the train when Severus and I met you!"

Miranda faked a smile. She now wished she had never asked to sit with them in the first place. Perhaps then _he _would not have been able to rule his heart like he now did…


	15. Chapter 15

_Note from the author: I want to thank everyone who has send a review. I'm always surprised to see how much you all seem to enjoy this story. :) So because of all your reviews, I decided to write a bit faster. So here is Chapter 15, it 's one of the most important chapters, I think. I hope everyone enjoys and I hope to hear from all of you soon! Thanks again!_

* * *

"_Meet me this evening at the lake. Severus."_

Miranda stared at the paper, turned it around to see if he had written something more on the back and then stared back to the words he had written. This evening…. Why this evening? Tomorrow was her "date" with Sirius. Was he worried about that? They hadn't spoken since he had seen them together, and she had focused so much on Lily, that she had forgotten about his reaction. 'Keep yourself busy when your heart is aching', they kept saying and it seemed to be truth, because the pain had dissipated.

Miranda read the sentence again, for the tenth time. Couldn't he be more specific? This evening when? Why? She gazed at the Slytherin table, but didn't see him there. He probably was already at class, since he attended potions with Lily, while Miranda didn't take that class anymore. Since she had chosen to become a teacher, she only chose the courses that had interested her in teaching. Lily, who was good at everything, took almost every class there was.

Miranda sighed. She could have used Lily's advice right now. She grabbed a quill and wrote on the back of the paper _"Fine, I'll be there. Miranda."_ It almost sounded as cold as him and that was exactly what she wanted.

The owl flew away with the paper and Miranda suddenly wished she was that owl. Perhaps then she would know more about his true feelings when he read her answer.

That evening, Miranda slowly walked towards the lake. She had no idea what she would find there. Something inside her was scared… scared he would finally put an end to their relationship. But on the other hand, she would see him again and maybe he had changed in the past few days. Maybe he had chosen to leave the path he was taking... Miranda sighed in frustration. Was she really this naive? She shook her head. Of course not, she was smarter than that.

Severus delayed. He didn't want to go to her. He would finish everything this evening. He would talk to her, wish her success with her date with Sirius and then he would leave her alone. That was the plan, only Severus already knew that it was a plan that would fail. She could make him doubt everything. He should have never started with her in the first place. At least he would never have known how he truly felt about her. Now he knew and now he had to truly hurt her… Severus sighed. "_Those who said love wasn't hard; never had been truly in love_," he thought, slightly irritated.

When Miranda saw Severus walking towards her, she already knew what he would do. She could see it in his eyes. But what she couldn't see in those eyes was the truth.

She smiled when he came closer, but didn't get a smile back.

"Hi Severus," she started.

"Miranda," he answered, while he kept a small distance between them.

"_For his own protection or for mine?" _Miranda thought curious.

"Look, I'll keep it short. I'm sure you have noticed that it isn't going well between us. I think it's best if we end it here. Do what you want to do with Sirius tomorrow; I won't be in your way. Good luck with everything. I enjoyed our time, but now it's over," Severus' voice was cold and uncaring, but she could hear a small quiver in his tone.

He wanted to turn around and let her be, but Miranda answered quickly:

"So, I really have to believe all that crap about you not loving me anymore? I'm not Lily. Calling me a blood traitor won't change how I truly feel about you. By the way, you didn't even mean it." She spat indignantly.

Severus stared at her with a surprised look in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but Miranda wasn't done yet.

"I think you were jealous and that means you still love me. I know you've been acting strange lately, but I'm sure there is an explanation for it. Whatever it is, you can tell me everything. I love you, I care about you and I want to be with you. But if you're keeping secrets for me, then you're making this very hard for me."

She looked at him, waiting for an answer. Miranda could not know how she looked, but Severus saw someone new standing before him. Someone, who had made a serious choice in her life, someone who was determined to put everything behind, for the one she loved. He swallowed. This was going to be way harder than he had thought.

"I don't think you'll love the man I have become," he answered quietly, while he shifted his gaze away from her.

"I don't believe you, Severus! Why don't you just tell me the truth? Don't you think I deserve at least that?" Miranda shouted her aggravation clear in her voice. Didn't he understand how she felt?

Severus didn't answer. He still didn't look at her and Miranda had the feeling he wasn't even listening to her. Frustrated, she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her.

"You still love me. I know that. What is going on? Why do I always know nothing?" Her voice went louder and louder, but Miranda did not realize it, "Why did Lily always knew everything? Why don't you just tell the truth?"

Lily's name was enough for Severus to lose his will. He pulled his arm away and shouted back, "Lily? Lily is everything, Miranda! Lily is the reason why we are together! Lily is the reason why I'm siding with those death eaters. Perhaps then, Lily will know I'm stronger and better than James Potter," Severus spit that name out like it was some kind of venom, "Did you really think I wanted you from the beginning? The only reason I started all this was because I wanted to make Lily jealous! I wanted to see what it would do to her, if I was happy with you! But things didn't turn out the way it should. I had no choice but to join _him_. If Lily will see what I can achieve then… if she could see how much people would admire me, then perhaps she would see who I truly am…." He stormed angrily.

Miranda didn't feel the ground beneath her feet. The only thing she felt was a pain, as if a knife was driven through her heart. She laid her hand upon her chest breathing heavy through the pain. Was this the truth? Had she been nothing other than some kind of toy to him?

And joining the death eaters…. Suddenly something struck her. He had known it. He had known they would kill her uncle and that was the only reason why he was there that evening. He wanted to see what it would do to her…. Betrayal, anger and pain built in her, right before her, all her naive ideas about him shattered.

She had trouble breathing, everything went black. _"Father," she thought desperate, "Father, please help me. I'm not this strong!"_ Suddenly she felt strong arms grabbing her. She pushed them away and angry stared into Severus' eyes.

"So this is the truth then? I mean nothing to you? I would have given up everything for you. You could have had it all… You even killed my own uncle. You betrayed my trust and if you think that is the way to gain Lily's love then you are so dead wrong. From now on, Severus Snape, Lily will know the whole truth and she will hate you even more. And I will do everything I can to keep it that way. If I can't have you, then she will never have you either. Don't think it will cost me much trouble. You're already a monster and if you think that you're better than James, think again. I hope he and Lily are happy together," she snapped coldly, her eyes blazing with anger and hate. Serverus watched as her face contorted in disgust as she looked at him.

She ran away from him, straight to the castle and did not see the tears appearing in his eyes. Angrily he tried to fight them. This was for the best. It would never have turned out well. Now, she knew the truth. It was better for her if she would never know how much he did love her. He closed his eyes. Lily and Miranda were gone to him forever, how could he continue now? He made a fist of his hand and gazed at the castle.

Whatever would happen, he would always protect those two. They meant everything to him. No cost would be too high to prevent them from getting hurt. With one last look at the lake, he, as well, walked towards the castle.

* * *

The next morning Miranda told Lily that it was over between her and Severus. He had used her to get Lily's friendship back and now he saw it was no good, he had decided to end everything.

Lily was shocked, to say the least. She kept asking if it was true and Miranda could understand her disbelief. She hadn't believed it herself. But she had to believe it, because she was sure of the truth in his words. Suddenly everything fell in his place. She had been so blind! He had suddenly fallen in love with her, after his friendship with Lily had ended. How she ever had believed his words, she did not know.

She did not tell Lily that Severus had joined the Death Eaters. She would keep it to herself, because she knew Lily would be shocked to hear it. Miranda knew that if Lily and James grew closer to each other, Lily wouldn't be able to keep that fact a secret. If James and Sirius knew Severus had chosen to join the dark side … Miranda shook her head. It was time to move on. She looked forward to her date with Sirius. After all, James was so different then the both girls had thought, maybe Sirius was different too. And at least she didn't have to doubt his feelings! Since he had known they were going out, he was constantly in her neighborhood. She didn't mind it. It would keep her mind off things.

She stared at the Slytherin table and saw Severus talking with some students she didn't now. Did he look paler or was it the light?

"Miranda," Lily suddenly said.

Her friend grabbed her hand and squeezed in it.

"Don't look at him. It will only make things harder. What he has done to you is unforgivable. You can never see him again," Lily voice was sweet and tender.

Miranda smiled and looked at Lily's green eyes.

"You're right, Lily. It's just…"

"You're an optimist," Lily interjected, with a smile, "I know. That's why I like you so much. You always see the good side of everyone. You saw it in Severus and although he has hurt you, some part of me also believes he did care for you. He could have ended it so much sooner, Miranda, but he didn't. He might not have loved you, but the fact that you defended him when he was bullied meant something to him. It was wrong of him to try to get our friendship back by using you and it's for the best that you've broken up, but I hope you still believe in true love."

"Of course I do!" Miranda said.

"Me too," someone said suddenly.

Both girls turned around and saw Sirius. He smirked and took a seat next to Miranda.

"True love, there's nothing better," Sirius continued. He winked at Miranda, who had to laugh.

"You and true love? Didn't you go out on a date with Selene last week? And before that week, you called Celine you're true love. I'm sure you'll understand, when we don't believe you when you say you believe in 'true love'," Miranda answered, with a playful tone.

Sirius grabbed her hand, looked into her eyes and said with a serious expression on his face:

"You're the only true love for me, Miranda Bloom."

Miranda, a bit taken aback by his words, blushed.

"Hey, Sirius! Aren't you suppose to hold my hand?" someone suddenly shouted.

Both Sirius and Miranda looked up. Miranda saw Selene standing not for from them, with an angry expression upon her face.

Miranda bit her lip, she tried hard not to laugh. Sirius turned red and mumbled:

"Sorry, love is hard, my dear."

He winked and then walked towards Selene.

"You're going to have your hands full with him," Lily said, with a smirk.

"Yeah, thank God for that," Miranda mumbled, while she gazed at her only true love…


	16. Chapter 16

_Note from the author: Final version of the chapter! I want to thank Voltagelisa for correcting everything Iwrite. She's a very kind and warm person and I'm glad that she has been helping me for such a long time already. __Thanks Lisa!_

* * *

Days passed by and every day gone, meant a day closer to the date with Sirius. It was a thought that kept going around in Miranda's mind. She still couldn't believe she had been persuaded to go out with Sirius Black. He wasn't really her type, was he? She had been studying him for the past days and had noticed that unlike James, his attitude had not changed much. He still was a playboy and around him, girls swarmed likes bees around honey. Those girls had also declared her as enemy number one, another fact that she didn't like. Miranda had never crossed anyone before. In fact, few people were trusted as much as she was trusted, but right now, every female Gryffindor hated her. Alright, not everyone! But apart from Lily, who was her best friend, and a couple of ex-girlfriends of Sirius, she had no one else who wished her luck with the date.

Miranda had also kept a close eye on Severus. Though he had broken her heart by lying to her and by joining those Death Eaters, she still cared for him. She knew it and she hated herself for it. Every time she realized she had been staring at him, she had wanted to slap herself. She didn't want him anymore… didn't she? How could she still care for him after all he had said? Miranda knew, however, that it was impossible to change her own heart. Love wasn't switched off in a couple of minutes. It would take days, weeks, even months to get over him. Something inside her even told her it could take forever… She feared it, but on the other hand, didn't mind it. Perhaps all of the time they had spent together had been a lie, but she still had been happy. It had been the best days of her life.

Sometimes Miranda thought about everything he had said to her during the time they had been together. Yes, he had acted strangely in the beginning, but after a couple of months everything had felt more right. The doubts she had had in the beginning of their relationship, had been gone. Slowly a thought was building up in her mind. Slowly she started to realize that perhaps he had started everything because of Lily, but that he had continued it because of her. It was a thought that kept her going and that made her believe that there was still something good in the boy she had loved so much.

On the weekend everyone was excited about the upcoming trip to Hogsmeade. Lily was nervous. Miranda had never seen her friend like this, but knew that she been equally nervous when she had gone out with Severus.

When Lily was going through her things for the third time, because she couldn't find the right clothes to wear, Miranda stepped in to help her.

"Lily, remember what you told me when I went to Hogsmeade with Severus?" she asked, while she pulled the clothes out of her friend's hand.

Lily looked up and Miranda almost let out a laugh when she saw how much stress was shown in that one look.

"You said I should keep everything the way it was, remember? James likes you the way you are. You just have to be yourself and everything will be fine. And don't forget, I'm there as well. If anything will go wrong, I'll step in and stop everything, deal?"

Lily smiled relieved.

"Deal," she mumbled.

She sat down on her bed and gazed at Miranda.

"I just don't know, Miranda! I'm so nervous. It's my first date with a guy and that guy is James Potter! Can you believe it?"

"Well, it shows that working for love seems to be the best option," Miranda smirked.

Lily smiled as well and sighed.

"Maybe I should tell him that I don't want to…"

"You're going," Miranda interjected. She took a seat next to her friend and squeezed in her hand.

"You need to do this, Lily. I want you to be happy. Next year, our ways will part and I couldn't stand it if you would end up alone. You're such a great person; you just need to let people in. It doesn't mean that James is your one and only. It just means that you're willing to give love a change. No one expects you to do anything tomorrow. What has to be, will be, Lily."

Lily frowned.

"Since when have you been the wise one of us two?" she asked after which she smiled.

"Since love decided to leave me alone and to come to you!" Miranda answered teasingly, "Love makes fools of us all, Lily."

They both grinned.

"Well, you've got Sirius with you tomorrow, so be careful. He's up to something, Miranda. He had to wait for 6 years before you agreed to go out with him," Lily said, while she gazed at her clothes and went through them.

"The same goes for you, Lily," Miranda answered neglectful.

Lily nodded.

"True, true. But James is… different. He stopped bullying Severus, for example," she said.

Miranda sighed.

"I just hope it's quickly over."

Monday arrived and before the girls knew it, it was 2 o'clock and time to go. Together, they walked towards Filch. Lily kept looking around until Miranda told her to stop it.

"It's like you're desperate to see him," Miranda whispered, a bit surprised by Lily's behavior.

Lily immediately stopped looking around. She blushed and answered:

"No, no. I… I don't know!"

Miranda had to laugh.

"This is going to be a lot more fun than I thought," Miranda 's hand went through her hair and walked further to Filch.

"Miranda Bloom and Lily Evans," she said, when he asked who they were.

He checked his list, nodded and made a mark upon the piece of parchment. Miranda walked further and then suddenly realized her friend wasn't walking next to her.

"Lily?" she asked, while she turned around.

When she saw what was happening behind her, she had to bit her lip so she wouldn't burst out in laughter.

James was sitting on his knees, while he gave Lily a simple red rose. Lily, her face the same color as the rose, grabbed the flower with trembling hands.

Behind James stood Sirius and he was staring at his best friend with the same unbelievable look in his eyes as was seen in Lily's.

"Wow, James, you really know how to thank a girl, huh?" Miranda said teasingly.

James smirked, stood up and grabbed Lily's other hand.

"Anything for Lily," he answered.

Lily blushed again.

"Thank you," she muttered.

Miranda rolled with her eyes, but kept smiling. Where was her strong friend? It seems love had captured her hard.

Sirius wanted to grab Miranda's hand as well, but she gave him a cold look and followed Lily and James. She could feel Sirius walking behind her, but she kept her gaze on the two before her.

"If you're going to act this way the entire date, then I'm going to end it right here," Sirius said suddenly.

Miranda shrugged and kept walking.

"I don't think you'll be able to stop their date," she answered while she pointed in Lily's direction, "By the way, I won't even let you. But if you're deciding to stop our date, then you won't have any problem in persuading me."

"Do you hate me that much?" Sirius asked his surprise obvious.

Miranda stopped and turned around to face him.

"I don't hate you. I just know what you are."

"Oh! Enlighten me then, so I can know what I truly am," Sirius answered his tone uncaring.

"You're a playboy."

"I'm a what?" Sirius repeated, while a sneer appeared upon his face.

"You heard me," Miranda said, while she felt a heat upon her face. Was she blushing?

"You're the kind of guy that has a new girl every week. But I have no intention in joining your collection," she continued, her tone more harsh this time.

"If I am what you say I am," Sirius smiled, "Then I must know everything about women, right?"

Miranda snorted.

"Huh, I don't think so. It's not because you dated women that you know them," she answered, while she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Sirius smile grew bigger. He came closer to her, but Miranda decided that if she would take a step back, she would show that he had an effect on her, which he had not.

"I do know that those who play hard to get, actually want me the hardest. And you're playing hard to get, Miranda, no matter what you say."

"Excuse me?" Miranda said, completely taken a back," I do not want you."

Why did her voice tremble?

"No?" Sirius asked, innocently.

"No," Miranda answered firmly.

"Fine. So if I kiss you, and it is true that you don't care about me, then the kiss won't mean anything to you…right?" Sirius tone was serious, yet the look upon his face was not.

"I'm not playing that game with you," Miranda stated, nervously played with a curl of her hair and turned her face to see where Lily had went too. She, however, didn't see Lily or James.

"Look," she said, while she turned to face Sirius again," We have to..."

Sirius had walked straight to her when she had looked away and now he stood in front of her. His face was close to hers and Miranda could see every line in his young face. She swallowed and tried to take a step back. Sirius didn't let her leave however. He grabbed her arm and pulled her towards him.

"I'm here to get one thing from you, Miranda," he whispered.

Miranda nervously moistened her lips.

"Oh, and what is that?" she asked, her voice a mere whisper.

"Your love," he answered and then he leaned towards her and kissed her.

At first she wanted to push him away, but the tenderness he showed and the way he kissed her just blew every thought away. Before she knew it, her hands laid around his neck and she was kissing him back.

"Hey, guys, that's normally for after the date!" someone said, his voice filled with joy.

Miranda immediately let go, gave Sirius a hard push and shook her head.

"How dare you!" she said, trying to sound angry.

She knew she had failed that when she saw the triumphant look upon Sirius' face.

"Oh, that wasn't only my fault, I think," he said, teasingly, while his eyes burned into hers.

Miranda swallowed again, took a deep breath and turned around. She hurried towards Lily and saw the surprised look upon her friend.

"Don't you dare ask anything," she whispered angry.

"Oh, I wasn't about to," Lily said innocently, "Action speaks louder than words, Miranda."

And if everything couldn't get worse, Severus was standing not far from them and he had seen everything. The look upon his face was a disgustful one. Miranda suddenly felled filthy. How could she have done that? She had loved Severus so much and she still did, so why had she answered Sirius' kiss?

She felt Sirius coming closer to them and decided to ignore him. He however didn't seem to mind it. When they passed his group of girls who were always around him, Miranda could feel the hate burning inside her back. Where had she led herself into?

Sirius walked a bit faster and caught up with them. He didn't say anything immediately, but when they arrived at Zonko's and saw that everyone's attention was at something else than at them, he leaned towards her.

"You see, I know women, Miranda. You played hard to get, but the kiss you gave me, show me you wanted me the hardest," he whispered teasingly.

Miranda turned red. Oh, why did she have to kiss him like that? When she looked at him, she had to sigh. This day wasn't over by far. And that kiss, she was sure it wasn't the last surprise he had for her…


	17. Chapter 17

_Note from the author: Hi everyone, here's chapter 17. Chapter 18 will be up tomorrow already! I had some time in the weekend to write and I hope everyone enjoys the next part(s). Thanks again for all the reviews. :) It's just so nice to open your mails box and see al the review alerts :) Thank you very much!_

_Cheerio and enjoy,_

_Aribeth_

* * *

As the day passed on, Miranda more and more wished she hadn't agreed with Lily. Sirius tried to touch her every moment Lily or James wasn't watch. When they agreed to drink something, he laid his arm around her waist, while he ignored her angry look.

At the end of the day she was sick of it. Sirius had been his arrogant self and he hadn't shown any tenderness. He had been the complete opposite of James, which pissed Miranda of. If Sirius had only been Severus then … But Miranda tried not to think like that. After all, her relationship with Severus was over for eternity. There was no possibility she would ever go back to him. He was a Death Eater, which was enough to destroy everything she felt.

But something happened, which made Miranda realize how much she still cared for him.

When the date was over and the two girls, James and Sirius went back to school, they bumped into some Slytherins. One of them was Severus, but that wasn't the problem. When she passed by together with Sirius, one of the Slytherins yelled:

"Come on, Snape. She's dying for it."

Involuntary Miranda turned around to see what he was talking about. When she saw what Severus was about to do, she froze. Sirius, who had been talking about quidditch, saw her standing still and followed her gaze. He wasn't surprised to see Severus standing not far from them. What he was surprised about, was what Severus was doing.

He was, obviously embarrassed and reluctantly, kissing a girl. For Sirius, it wasn't really kissing. After all, a kiss is when you grab a girl and show her the world by covering her mouth with his. Severus only touched her lips swiftly, as if he was kissing a toad.

For Miranda, however, it was the shock of her life. All color drained from her face and she felt tears coming up. She tried to fight them and tried to look away, but realized she just couldn't. Severus ended the kiss, turned around and saw her. It was difficult to understand the look on his face. Was is triumph, was it shame? Miranda could not tell. She only knew that although his words had hurt her, she still had been in love with him. And know, while jealousy and anger was running through her body, she realized she would never be whole again if she wasn't with him. It was a terrible fact to know, and she suddenly felt stupid. She had been naïve and stupid and now he had shown that to her. She swallowed and suddenly felt a hand upon hers. She turned around and saw Sirius. He wasn't mocking with her, there was honest sympathy seen in his eyes.

"Come on, Miranda," he mumbled, "Let's get out of here."

She just nodded and followed him, while she tried to erase the picture in her mind of Severus kissing someone else then her.

Severus ignored the others. He felt ashamed. He had lied to Miranda. The kiss had meant nothing, of course. If one of the Slytherins hadn't seen him talking with Miranda, he wouldn't have to do it. But right now, he had to convince them that he hated Gryffindors. If any action of him would show that he felt something for a girl who was a blood traitor, then his career as death eater would have a sudden end. A very painful end, of that he was sure.

He saw Miranda walking away with Sirius and felt a strange feeling stir inside him. Was he jealous? But he had chosen this himself. If there was anyone to blame for what had occurred, it was him and no one else. Miranda was completely innocent, yet she was hurt right now. Severus sighed and closed his eyes. Would anything ever go as planned?

"Who is she?" Miranda whispered, while she stared at the ground.

Sirius squeezed her hand.

"Her name is Shayla, if I recall correct. She's a typical Slytherin. She hates mud bloods and blood traitors like us and the only goal in life is to kill as much muggles as possible," Sirius answered sarcastic.

Miranda could hear the contempt in his voice and she was surprised to hear it. At that moment, she realized she didn't know much about Sirius. Perhaps all he did was to hide who he truly was, like Severus had done.

"That helps a bit," she muttered.

Sirius smiled, an honest smile, which surprised her even more.

"You're too good of a person to be hurt by someone like him. I know his kind, better than you might think," Sirius continued.

"What do you mean?" Miranda asked curious, while she looked up at him.

"My brother, Rodolphus, has decided to choose the side of those Death Eaters as well. In fact my entire family has chosen to do just that," the bitterness in his voice, made Miranda freeze.

"And you?" she asked, slightly frightened.

Sirius stopped as well and gazed at her. A smile appeared.

"What do you think, Miranda?" he asked, while he let her hand go.

She shrugged.

"I don't know," Miranda started.

"You're a Gryffindor and you're friends with James Potter and other blood traitors. I think I can decided that you're not on your brother's side," she concluded.

Sirius smirked.

"That's the truth. I left my family alone and I am now living with James his family. They're quite nice. I never had a home, but now I can safely say that at James' family, I found one," he spoke very honest and it made her smile.

"I didn't realize that," Miranda said, while she started walking again, "Perhaps if you weren't always playing around, if would have known it, I would have had a better thought of you."

Sirius laughed and grabbed her hand again.

"But then I would not have nearly as much fun as I have had right now!"

Miranda had to laugh as well.

"True, true," she mumbled.

The both walked in silence to the great hall. Arriving there, they stopped and Miranda looked a bit shy, at Sirius.

"So," she began.

"So," he said as well.

They both smiled and then Sirius bowed towards her and whispered:

"If you want me to kiss you, it's your turn to make a move."

Miranda blushed, but said, teasingly:

"I don't think so. I made the biggest move of all by going out on a date with you."

Sirius smirked and nodded.

"That's true as well, my dear," he answered playfully, "Yet, I'm giving you the chance to back out of this. If we're going to kiss again, I have to conclude you're falling for me."

Miranda laughed.

"I don't know you, Sirius. If you want me, you'll have to do more than what you've done already."

Sirius got back up, frowned and then said, while a smile slowly appeared.

"Deal! So tomorrow, we'll study together. Until then!"

He winked and left her alone.

Miranda shook her head and smiled. She should have known he would give an answer like that. She went over to Lily, who obviously was daydreaming.

"I can tell you've had a pleasant date?" Miranda asked, while she took a seat and grabbed a sandwich.

Lily turned to face Miranda and Miranda could see little sparks in her beautiful green eyes.

"Oh Miranda, it was so… so…"

"Overwhelming?" Miranda suggested, while she searched for the cheese.

"Exactly," Lily said. She slowly went through her hair with her hand and smiled softly. "If I had known he would be like this, then I would have agreed to do this a long time ago."

Miranda grinned and took a bite of her sandwich. She decided to keep her friend in her happy thoughts before she would tell Lily everything about Severus and Sirius. Lily deserved to be happy right now. At least she wasn't worried about her anymore. Yes, she would wait before she would tell her about Severus and that Shayla.

* * *

"Why have you not told me this?" Lily shouted, angry.

"Because I wanted to keep you happy…," Miranda reasoned, while she went a bit paler. She should have known Sirius wouldn't keep his mouth shut.

"So I have to hear it from James, who has heard it from Sirius? You're my best friend, Miranda, yet you chose to not tell me this," Lily took a seat, while a frown appeared upon her forehead.

"I know how much he can hurt you. I'm probably the only know who knows it. If anything like that happens, I'm there for you," Lily continued her voice this time soft and tender.

She grabbed Miranda's hand and squeezed it.

"But Sirius...," Miranda started.

"What about him?" Lily interjected hastily, "Did he mock you? Did he bully Snape? Did you defend him?"

"No!" Miranda said, while she tried not to laugh, "It wasn't like that at all. He comforted me and he told me some things. He actually made me feel better."

Lily's frown grew bigger. She let go of Miranda's hand and held her head a bit oblique.

"Are you saying Sirius Black was … nice?" One eyebrow rose and a giggle escaped from Miranda's mouth.

"Miranda!"

"I'm so sorry, Lily, but the look on your face, it's so funny!" Miranda couldn't hold it anymore and started laughing.

Lily, completely shocked by Miranda's reaction, stood up from her seat.

"Have you been drinking or something?" she asked, completely serious.

Miranda stopped laughing and smiled.

"It's just… Lily, why do you think Sirius would do such a thing? You would have known it, if he had behaved like that. But he was there for me and I felt better, so there was no need to tell you this. You were so happy and I… didn't want to ruin it for you," she explained.

Lily sighed and then smiled.

"Alright then. If what you say is true, then I'm glad for you. But I'm there for you. It's not because I…" Lily hesitated for a moment.

"Love?" Miranda suggested.

"Like," Lily continued with strong emphasize, "James Potter, that you aren't my best friend anymore."

Miranda stood up and hugged Lily.

"Thanks, Lilly, that means a lot to me. But don't worry. I don't think we both know the true Sirius just yet," Miranda responded.

Lily frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Let's take a seat and I'll tell you…," Miranda started.

* * *

Miranda hurried towards the library. She had been so caught up with her conversation with Sirius, that she had forgotten her history book. Luckily the door was still open. She quickly ran in the library and searched her table. To her relief her books were still lying on the table. She was so focused on the books that she didn't saw who was standing next to the table.

Suddenly a hand moved and took her books.

"Hey, those are mine!" she yelled. She stopped and looked up to whoever was grabbing her books. She felt her heart pound in her chest when she met the cold black eyes of Severus Snape.

"Give them back," she said, her voice trembled.

Severus smiled coldly.

"Sure," he whispered.

He slowly pushed the books towards her. Miranda grabbed them, but in the movement she made she touched his hand. She could feel him trembling, but she could also feel the heat he caused upon the spot of her hand where they had touched.

"Is _he_ such a good friend?" Severus asked, while he narrowed his eyes.

"That's none of your business anymore," Miranda answered, while she tried to look into his eyes.

"I see," he whispered. He suddenly raised his hand from the table and walked past by her.

Miranda swallowed. She had expected something else than this.

Suddenly Severus said something again.

"For what it's worth; yesterday… What you saw. I did it because _they _know."

He turned around and left the library.

"_They? Who are they? And what do they know?"_ Miranda thought confused.

Her thoughts ran at full speed and she only realized that she was standing there for quite some time when Madam Pince asked her to leave because she had to close the library.

While she walked through the many corridors, she was deep in thought. Was he protecting her? Or was he just playing a game again? Well, if that truly was what he was doing, then he would now see that she was more than just a pawn.


	18. Chapter 18

_Note from the author: Here's the next chapter already. I'm busy writing chapter 19, so I'll hope I can put it up in a couple of days. Enjoy reading this! And thanks!_

_Cheerio,_

_Aribeth_

* * *

Slightly trembling Miranda went back to the Gryffindor common room. When she arrived there, she immediately was greeted by all of the marauders. She smiled and said hello, but told them she went to the girls' bedroom since she wanted to place her books there.

Arriving there she was glad to see Lily, who was searching something in her trunk.

"Hi Lilly," Miranda said, while she walked towards her bed.

Lily looked up and smiled.

"Miranda, I was wondering where you had went to," Lily answered.

"To the library. I had forgotten my books," Miranda explained, while she took a seat on the bed.

Her friend nodded and continued with her search.

"What are you searching for?" Miranda asked curious.

Lily didn't answer, but Miranda could see her cheeks becoming suspiciously red.

"Lilly?"

Her friend looked up and sighed.

"I'm going out with James again. But alone this time. You don't need to come with us," she mumbled.

Miranda smiled. She had already expected them to go out again. The only problem was, where? The next trip to Hogwarts was planned in a couple of weeks. Lily wouldn't be searching for the right clothes to wear if it was weeks away.

"Where are you going?" Miranda asked, while she kept looking at her friend. The look in Lily's eyes was one of slightly embarrassed, which surprised her.

"Well, don't tell anyone else; but we're going to the lake this evening," Lily answered truthfully.

Miranda immediately rose from her bed and stared, in disbelief at Lily.

"What?"

"Yes, to the lake. Great huh?" Lily said, misinterpreting her friend's movement, "I can't believe it either."

"It's not just not believing it, I just can't believe you agreed to do this," Miranda said, her voice cold.

"What?" Lily asked, confused, "What are you talking about? Every couple needs some romantic place…"

"Oh, so you're a couple now?" Miranda interjected, "And that gives you the right to go to _my_ special place?"

"Miranda," Lily started, but she was again interrupted by her friend.

"No, don't start with Miranda. I know that tone. You'll say again that it's over between me and Severus and that I should move on, but that doesn't mean that the time with him wasn't special for me!" Miranda snapped.

Lily, completely overwhelmed by Miranda's sudden reaction, stood up as well. She tried to lay her hand on top of Miranda's arm to calm her down, but Miranda didn't let her.

"If you were my true friend, you wouldn't go. The thought of James Potter being there… It just doesn't feel right!"

"And why not?" Lily asked her voice calm in contrast with Miranda's.

"Because … because there was more going on between me and Severus than between you and James! It was special, it was serious…."

Miranda knew she was rambling but she couldn't help herself. Seeing Severus back and feeling those emotions again, made her loose her mind.

"Miranda, it wasn't serious. He played with you," Lily reasoned, her voice soft.

"No, no. It's not true. I think…"

She suddenly shut up, knowing that Lily would never agree with her.

"What do you think, Miranda?" Lily asked curious. She took a step closer towards Miranda and frowned.

"He spoke the truth, Miranda. Otherwise he would never have left you like he has done. And now he has someone else. He's moving on, as should you. Sirius is waiting until you make another move and I suggest you make it, soon. And I will go to the lake this evening with James, because I want to feel special as well as you."

"I didn't mean that. But that was … our place," Miranda whispered. She felt tears in her eyes and she closed her eyes to hide them.

She wished that she had never gone back to the library. It had left her confused, it left her longing for him again. Something in his voice had made her clear that not everything was like it seemed. There was something she didn't know yet and it made her hope rise again. She shouldn't, but she couldn't help herself. She missed those times. She missed being in Severus' arms, she missed his kisses, his hugs… She missed everything.

She took a seat upon the bed and stared in disbelief at her sheets. Lily was right. She had to move on; she had to make that move with Sirius. It didn't have to be serious; it just needed to help her to forget Severus. To forget what he had done to her. To forget what he had chosen to do.

"Miranda, are you alright?" Lily asked worried.

She took a seat next to Miranda and sighed.

"You miss him, don't you?" She asked, while she laid her hand on top of Miranda's, "I know you do. And that's normal, isn't it? You cared for him, you loved him and those feelings aren't over in a couple of days. It'll take some time, but one day you'll feel better again and then you will be able to move on. Sirius can help you with that."

Miranda nodded. She wasn't really listening to Lily. Her friend didn't understand what she felt, yet. She would go out with Sirius as well, but that would be her cover. In the mean time she would keep a close eye on Severus and his friends. She needed answers and she needed them soon…

Weeks went by and Miranda didn't find out more. She and Sirius grew closer to each other and Miranda had to admit that she liked his company. He was funny, but also serious at the moments that she needed him to be that way. He was incredibly smart. For some reason, he could do his homework in less the time than she needed and still have better points then she.

They made homework together, went to quidditch to see James fly and ate almost every meal together. Lily and James were now a couple and everyone in Gryffindor had been happy about it. After all, it had taken James long enough to ask Lily out on a real date.

But December came closer with the day and that meant that the ball was getting closer as well. Sirius hadn't spoken about it, but Miranda hoped he was asking her out.

James had already asked Lily, of course and her friend had been thrilled. She had gotten a dress from her parents and it was an absolute fantastic dress. Miranda was jealous about it, although her own dress wasn't that bad either. It was completely purple and it had been obviously costly, but Lily had always looked better than her and now at the ball that wouldn't change either.

What Severus would do with the ball, she had no idea. She hoped he would come alone, but knew that he probably would come with that Shayla. She had seen them together a couple of times and had felt the heartache returning every time. She learned to life with it, because she knew she wouldn't be able to change it.

The evening before the ball, Miranda felt a strange feeling in her body. It took her a while before she realised she was nervous. Nervous because Sirius still hadn't asked her out. It became 7 o'clock. 8 o'clock. 9 o'clock...

Miranda nervously played with her hair and stared at Sirius. He was joking with James and that both of them were constantly laughing. With a sigh she realised she had to ask him herself. He wanted her to make the next move. She looked away from him and stared at her hands. Could she do this? Was she able to change her own heart? She closed her eyes and thought about it. Then she moistened her lips and nodded slowly. Yes, she could do this. She had to do this.

She got up and walked at Sirius.

"Sirius, can I talk to you for a moment?" she asked her voice strong although she didn't feel like that.

Sirius looked up, slightly surprised and she could see a sparkle of joy in his eyes.

"Sure."

He got up and followed her to a quieter corner. Miranda could feel the eyes of Lily burn in her back.

"So, what is it?" he asked, while he leaned against the wall.

The looks in his eyes seemed careless, but Miranda knew him better.

She smiled mysteriously and said:

"I wanted to ask you something."

"Sure, go ahead," he said, while he gazed at her.

"I know why you haven't asked me out yet for the ball," Miranda started, "It's because you want me to make the first move, right? Well, here I am and I am asking you if you want to go with me to the ball."

She gazed at him, curious what he would say, but Sirius didn't answer immediately.

He didn't lean against the wall anymore, but just looked at her. Then he took a step closer towards her and said:

"I thought you would never ask."

A smirk appeared upon his face and he nodded.

"I'll go with you, no problem. There's no one else I rather want to spend my time with at that ball anyway."

Miranda grinned.

"So, it's a date then. I'll see you tomorrow."

She turned around and didn't see how Sirius lifted his thumb towards James and Lily. With as smile she went to her bed and for the first time in a while, slept a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, everyone was nervous. Girls were fighting for the showers, guys were searching for the last free girls and teachers were trying to organize the last moments before the ball. Miranda wasn't nervous at all. She took a long warm shower, got dressed and ate a complete breakfast. Lily however, jumped up at every little sound and looked like she could vomit when she saw what Miranda was eating.

"How can you eat when there's a ball this evening?" she asked.

Miranda smiled.

"It's just a ball, Lily. Nothing's going to happen at a ball. You'll dance with James, you'll have a good time and that's that."

Lily looked away from her and bite on her lip.

"Lily, why are you so nervous?" Miranda asked, while she stood up from her seat.

Lily turned to face her again and whispered:

"I can't dance."

Miranda frowned.

"What did you say?" she asked, with an unbelievable look on her face.

"I can't dance," Lily repeated.

She nervously looked around, scared that anyone would hear her.

Miranda smiled.

"That's no problem! My mother thought me to dance since I was little. I'll teach you today. We can dance in the dormitory, but I'm sure you'll do fine. You're good at everything, Lily," Miranda tried to assure Lily, but she could see that it didn't work.

"Come on, we'll start now and you'll be the best dancer of the evening."

The two girls practiced all day and later that evening, Miranda couldn't feel her feet anymore.

Lily on the contrary, had lost her nerves and was smiling and babbling the whole time.

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it that much," Miranda said, sarcastic while she massaged her painful feet. Lily had stepped on the more than once.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Miranda," Lily said, while she took a seat next to Miranda.

The smile upon Lily's face made Miranda forget her sore feet.

"It's alright," she said, while she placed her feet back on the ground, "It's time for us to prepare for the ball."

Lily nodded and ran towards her trunk. She grabbed the dress and Miranda could see how her friend pictured herself in that dress.

"You'll look fine!" Miranda assured her.

She got up herself and grabbed her dress. It was time for an evening with Sirius... and not with Severus like she had thought at the beginning of the year.

Miranda gazed at Lily and saw how she was making herself ready with a big smile on her face.

"_Sometimes Lily, I wish I was you," _Miranda thought.

With a sigh, she put on the dress. A new dress, a new boyfriend. Yes, she was quite ready for a new start...

Return to Top


	19. Chapter 19

_Note from the author: Well, I don't know why but I have tons of inspiration :-D I wrote this chapter in less than an hour! I hope you all enjoy reading this and thanks again for all the nice reviews. I'm sure they help my writing every day! Cheerio, Aribeth._

* * *

Miranda and Lily went down the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. There, James was already waiting impatiently until Lily would arrive. When he saw them arrive, he walked towards Lily and smiled.

"Hello Lily," he said with a voice soft. Miranda started to understand why her friend was so mad about him. He was the absolute gentleman.

"So, Sirius isn't here?" Miranda asked, slightly disappointed.

James' gaze shifted towards her and his smile faded.

"Well, you know how he is, Miranda... with time and all," he mumbled.

Miranda nodded slowly and sighed.

"You two should go already. I'll wait here for Sirius. I'm sure we'll be downstairs in a minute. Keep a good seat for the both of us," Miranda said, with a faint smile.

Lily grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"Alright, and don't worry. He'll show up."

She and James turned around and left the room. Miranda looked around for a seat and then took one close to the fire. It was the end of December and today it had snowed much. You could feel the coldness through the castle walls and although every room was well enough warmed, Miranda still felt cold.

Her thoughts made her go back to a time when she had been walking through the snow with Severus. It had been a beautiful moment, a moment she would treasure forever. A soft smile appeared upon her face when she remembered how happy he had looked. It could not be that he had never loved her. And what was all that about _they_? She still didn't know who _they_ were.

She closed her eyes and pictured herself dancing with him. Gods, she would have given anything to spend the day with Severus. It wasn't fair for Sirius to think like this, but she couldn't help herself. Yes, he was a death eater, but he could not have killed her uncle! Miranda sighed and covered her head with her hands. She was so confused. Her heart told her one thing and her head another. Was love rational? Of course not. But should she think rational now? She had too.

She got scared when someone suddenly touched her. She jumped from her seat and turned around, only to see Sirius standing there with a rose in his hand. Heavily breathing she pointed at the flower and said:

"You do know that imitating your best friend is not a good way to flirt with a girl, right?"

Sirius smirked.

"You should try to find anything else beautiful that won't bite you in this castle."

Miranda had to smile.

"You're probably right."

She took a step towards him and saw his eyes going over her entire body. For some reason, she started to blush.

"So, do you like what you see?" she said sarcastic, while she tried to hide the blush appearing on her cheeks.

The smirk on his face grew bigger.

"Oh yes," he said, his voice a mere whisper. For some reason she felt even more nervous right now.

"_Stop it; girl," Miranda told herself, "He's just a guy trying to get to you."_

"Shall we go?" she asked, her voice as calm as possible.

"Fine with me," Sirius answered.

He gave her and arm and they both walked towards the Great Hall. Arriving there, Miranda was taken aback by the change that the Hall had undergone. The tables were gone. Instead there were smaller tables at the end of the great hall, all placed together. The dancing area was big; Miranda had never seen something like this before. The band was playing soothing songs and the teachers were all standing somewhere else. McGonagall was talking with Lupin, while professor Dumbledore had a conversation with a guy from Raven claw. She tried to see where Lily was, but when she stood on top of her toes to see more, her eyes met Severus' eyes and she immediately looked away.

"I don't see them," Miranda said to Sirius, while she tried to hide her surprise.

She didn't fool Sirius however.

"Miranda," he started, while the smirk disappeared, "I think we first need to have a talk."

"Fine with me," Miranda said, looking at everywhere except at him.

She followed him and they went away from the Great hall, to a nearby corridor that was of course empty. Sirius stopped there and looked at her.

"Why don't you tell me the truth? Don't you think I deserve that much?" Sirius asked his voice tender.

Miranda looked at her feet and nervously played with a curl in her hair.

"I… I don't know what to say," she answered. It wasn't a lie. She had no idea how to tell him all those things about Severus. He would go straight to James, tell him everything and then the whole school would know about them!

"Why don't I start?" Sirius continued.

Miranda looked up; the surprise in her eyes was obvious.

"I know something has been going on between you and Severus. Whatever it was, it is over now. I don't know why, I don't know when and I don't know how. But what I do know is that you still look at him like he's the love of your life," the tone in his voice was a serious one and she realized she was talking to the side of Sirius which she loved so much.

"I...I don't look at him like that!" Miranda snapped, slightly frustrated.

"Yes, you do. Before I arrived in the common room, you were thinking of him, weren't you?" Sirius asked, while he already knew the answer.

Miranda swallowed and then nodded softly.

"I knew it, because you had a beautiful smile upon your face. A smile I haven't seen in a while," Sirius sighed and went closer to her, "Something happened, didn't it? Something happened which made you realize that he's still important to you. But I have seen him kissing with that girl, I've seen him with his friends and I do not believe he feels the same way."

Miranda bit her lip and looked away from him. It was as if he was inside her mind and telling her everything her head told her every day.

"I want to give us a serious chance. I care about you, more than I do about anyone. You're smart, funny when needs to be. You're beautiful and charming. Shy and at the same time so strong… You would defend Lily against everything. Even if it was Severus, I'm sure you would do the right thing, even if your heart tells you otherwise. It's why I admire in you, Miranda. You did what I had to do a long time ago," Sirius continued, his voice a mere whisper.

Miranda swallowed. He didn't know Severus was a death eater, right?

"I…did care about my family. Not as much as you cared for Snape. But even though you loved him, you placed your principles above him, just like I have done a year ago," Sirius voice trembled.

He came closer and she stood face to face with him. Slowly he raised his hand and touched her cheek. Miranda closed her eyes and swallowed. Gods, she did care for him. Yes, she did have fallen for him. He wasn't Severus, but perhaps that was what she needed.

"It would be different with me, Miranda," he whispered. His mouth was close to hers. She was sure that if she would move a bit, she would touch him.

"You wouldn't have to hide what you feel. I would make you happy. I would never do something which would upset you," Sirius continued.

Her heart pounded in her chest and she knew she was breathing heavily. Gods, he was so close to her and yet, he still didn't take any advantage of her. Still, he led her make the choice.

"Are you going to kiss me?" she whispered. She was surprised that she dared to ask it, but she had to.

"Only if you want it," he answered his voice thick with desire.

She opened his eyes and stared into his dark ones. For Sirius, it was as if he looked straight into the sky. Miranda had the most beautiful blue eyes. And now they were sparkling, sparkling with joy.

"Yes, I want it," she said, her voice strong...

He bowed towards her and their lips met. It was better than their first kiss. This time he was tender and sweet, but passionate. He let her choose and she could feel it. She laid her hands around his neck and pulled him towards her. She could feel his arms around her, his warmth covering her entirely. Gods, he was a great kisser. Their kiss deepened, became more passionate.

Suddenly, someone coughed behind her. She immediately led go, but Sirius didn't, his arms still holding her tenderly to him.

"What's the problem, James?" Sirius asked a slight surprise in his tone.

"Lily was worried about Miranda," James answered. Miranda saw him smirking and she had to blush. She hadn't felt like this in a long time. Completely free of worries, only filled with desire and passion.

"Well, as you can see, she's in perfect hands," Sirius answered.

His moved his arms away from her and grabbed her hand.

"But we'll go with you. We don't want to miss the ball, do we?" He winked at Miranda and she smiled.

"No, we don't," she mumbled.

Sirius made it clear for the rest of the evening that she was his girl. Any guy who tried to ask her for a dance, got an angry look from him and ran away faster then she could say yes or no. She did like it though. It gave her the feeling that he really cared about her. Lily took a seat next to her and smiled.

"You're happy, aren't you?" she asked.

Miranda nodded.

"Yes, more happy then I would have imagined," she answered truthfully.

Lilly's smile grew bigger. She took a swig of her drink and gazed at James and Sirius. They were talking and laughing, and you could see how close their friendship was.

"Isn't it funny, Miranda? We're best friends, they're best friends. It's like it is meant to be," Lily continued, her voice a bit dreamy.

Miranda didn't answer. She had thought she and Severus were meant to be, but that wasn't true. Suddenly the two guys rose from their seat and walked towards them.

"So, are you two ready for the dance of your life?" James asked.

Miranda looked at Lily. Her friend looked at her and Miranda could see the joy in her eyes.

"Yes," the both said simultaneously.

With a laugh, the four of them entered the dance floor and neither of them left soon.

"It's time to go," James said. He yawned and sighed.

The others nodded. Everyone was tired. It was one o'clock and they were one of the few who were still in the Great Hall. When they walked towards the stairs, Professor Slughorn suddenly bumped into them.

"Lily and Miranda, such a pleasure to see you two!" he said.

"He isn't tired at all," Sirius whispered into Miranda's ear. She giggled, which caught the attention of the professor.

"Well, I'm sure you all don't mind if I borrow Miranda for a moment? I have something to ask her."

"Of course not, Professor," Lily immediately answered, "We'll go to the common room, Miranda. We'll see you there."

Miranda nodded and gave Sirius a soft kiss on his cheek.

"I'll be back for more, alright?" Sirius said.

She nodded and then let go of his hand. The professor and her watched as her friends went away. Then he turned to face her. A smile appeared.

"Miranda, I have heard you're interested in becoming a teacher?" he asked curious.

"Yes, professor. I would love to teach children. It's been in my head for quite a while now."

"Anything particular you want to teach, my dear?"

"Well, I want to teach Care of Magical creatures. I've been offered to go on a trip through England, to get some experience with them. I'm quite interested in dragons, professor," Miranda answered, slightly confused why he was interested in this.

"Dragons, you say? I was just wondering, Miranda…" He stopped for a moment and looked deep into her eyes, "You were one of my favorite students, although you weren't the best. But you tried your hardest and that's something I appreciate. I hope you'll think of me sometimes, when you're travelling. There are all sorts of interesting animals and potions…"

Miranda suddenly smiled. She knew know what he wanted. He needed some ingredients that you couldn't buy that easily.

"I'll never forget you, Professor. You can be sure of that."

The professor smiled even bigger.

"Thank you, my dear. Now, if you excuse me, I'll go back to the Great Hall."

With a last smile, he disappeared and Miranda shook her head. She should have known he would be interested in that. When she turned around and wanted to walk to the stairs, someone grabbed her and pulled her into a dark corner.

"Hey, what…" she yelled.

A hand covered her mouth and when she saw who it was she immediately froze.

"Severus," she whispered.

"Had a pleasant time?" he asked, his voice filled with sarcasm, "I'm sure you had. I've never seen you kiss someone like that before. If you think he's better than me, think again. He'll hurt you and a lot more than I would ever do…"

"Really?" Miranda snapped, "Why do you care? Go and play with your death eaters. And don't forget to kiss your date. She's probably dying for you right now..."

"Stop it," Severus voice was cold and soft, but she could hear the anger inside it, "You're making a mistake, Miranda. If you think you're getting me back by kissing him, think again. I don't want you anymore."

"I would never use someone like that!" Miranda yelled, shocked he would think of her that way, "And why are you keeping me here when you don't care about me. You should be pleased I moved on!"

He led her go and she could see the surprise in his eyes. He took a step back and stared at her. Miranda could see lots of emotions going through him, but she had no idea which ones.

"Well, what is it, Severus? Lost your nerve? You played your game already, it won't work again. You've lost this time," Miranda continued, while she tried to figure him out.

Suddenly he came closer to her and grabbed her face.

"I never lose," he whispered.

Then he kissed her. Filled with passion and longing, she could feel it, but she was too surprised to react.

Suddenly he let her go and left her. She swallowed and then stared into the corridor. With all her power, she smashed her hand upon the wall. Why the hell did he always leave her confused while he was the one that had ended everything?

Return to Top


	20. Chapter 20

_Note from the Author: I'm gonna make people happy I think, because here's already chapter 20! Chapter 21 will be up after the weekend, because I have to read a couple of articles for school and that's going to take me some time:) Thanks for all the kind reviews. As much as you appreciate it that I put up these chapters so quick, I appreciate it that you write those reviews. Cheerio and enjoy, Aribeth

* * *

_Miranda walked slowly towards the Gryffindor common room. She was kissed by two guys at one day. By the guy who had broken her heart and by the guy who was trying to mend it. She shook her head in complete confusion. Now her heart begged her to go after Severus, while her head told her to punish herself for betraying Sirius 'trust.

"_It wasn't my fault!" _she told herself, _"He kissed me. I did nothing! I didn't even kiss him back."_

She heard giggles and laughs coming from in front of her and she knew she was approaching the common room. Two students, which she ignored completely, were making out in front of the portrayed and Miranda walked past them without saying anything. When she gave the password and the portrait swung open, she immediately saw Sirius.

He smiled and grabbed her hand.

"I missed you," he said softly. Then he kissed her and for the second time that day she couldn't immediately answer a kiss.

Sirius noticed this and frowned.

"What's wrong, Miranda? You look a bit taken a back. Did Slughorn say something?"

He took her to a seat next to the fire and gazed at her. Miranda sighed.

"No, it wasn't Slughorn. I… I just saw Severus and I don't think he was happy about me going out with you."

Sirius 'frown grew bigger and she could see how his eyes darkened.

"And why do you think that?" he asked, his voice cold.

Miranda got the shivers. If she would tell Sirius that he almost looked like Severus then minutes ago, then she was sure he would be mad. But he did look like him. In a scary way, that was.

"He... told me. And then he left me alone," Miranda reluctantly told him. She would not tell him about the kiss. It would only upset him more.

Sirius 'frown disappeared. He came closer to her and looked deep into her eyes.

"It must have been confusing for you," he said, his voice tender this time.

"It still is," Miranda answered truthfully. She looked away from his eyes and stared outside. It was snowing again. She started hating snow, because for some reason, a lot of things happened when it snowed.

"Don't blame the snow," Sirius said jokingly.

Miranda turned back to face him and smiled.

"I know... It's just, I don't know what to think of all this."

"I'll tell you," Sirius said, while he grabbed her hand again, "You're with me now, Miranda. You chose me and he is the past. If he has realized now that he has been a fool, then that's his problem."

He paused for a moment and squeezed her hand.

"I know you still care for him. That's normal, you're a caring person. A compassionate person. It's what I love about you," Sirius continued, warmth in his eyes that she had not seen often, "But Miranda, you must realize that if he can hurt you once, he can hurt you many times more. Please, not only for yours 'sake, but also for us, don't give him a second chance."

The pleading in his voice, made her believe that he was right. She had made her choice already, it did not matter what Severus thought. She was with Sirius and that was it.

"You're right, of course," she whispered.

Sirius smiled and pulled her towards him. He kissed her and this time she was able to answer it truthfully. Every doubt disappeared and Miranda let the feeling of happiness wash over her like a wave.

* * *

Severus moaned. Why had he kissed her? It had made everything ten times worse. He had ended everything for the best and now he suddenly went back to her and told her she had to stay away from Black, because he didn't like it.

He closed his eyes and sighed. She made him loose his mind. She probably didn't know that and she obviously didn't care about it anymore, but by the gods, it was frustrating to know what kind of power she had on him.

His feelings had not gone away. Instead they had grown. Every minute she was with Black, he wanted to push that guy and fell down on his knees to plead his love for her. Moments later he realized that it would never be possible to do such a thing, but he just couldn't stand the fact that Miranda would kiss Sirius Black. His sworn enemy. What a twist of fate!

He opened his eyes and stared into the mirror. He had ran straight towards the dungeons and had hid himself in the toilets. The man staring back at him had cold dark eyes, but there was a sign of desperateness inside them. He looked pale and thin. With a sigh, he rolled his left sleeve up and stared at the mark of his new lord. He was beginning to doubt his choice. Would Lily ever understand why he had done this? Miranda didn't understand it, and she was one of the most understanding people he knew.

Another sigh. How could he love two women? And then even two Gryffindors! If Lucius Malfoy would ever hear about this… or the other Slytherins! Shayla knew he didn't care about her and she didn't mind it. She just wanted to get closer to all of them so her family would be protected by the death eaters when the dark lord would attack. The thought that he had to kiss her again after _this_, disgusted him. He couldn't do that anymore. He would end it this evening. He would tell her she would be protected and she wouldn't give a damn what he would do right now. He nodded slowly. Yes, he would be true to himself, but he would not go back to Miranda. He turned around and left the room. He had the feeling he left his worries right there and that was fine with him. It would be nice to stop think about _her _for a while…

* * *

Days passed by and Miranda, Lily and the Marauders spend hours together with each other. Sirius was the perfect boyfriend. He kissed her, told her he cared for her more than once and ignored every other girl in the room. For some reason, that didn't make her feel comfortable. She didn't know how long this would last. She knew him for quite a while now and she knew that he enjoyed the fact that girls hung around him just to be with him. She had never done that and for that she had been the excellent prey. But was she still a prey? She didn't know and that knowledge did not make her feel any better.

When she heard that it was over between Shayla and Severus, thoughts came crawling inside her mind. Had he ended it because he had realized he still cared about her? But when those thoughts came, she tried to push them back. She focused entirely on Sirius and that seemed to help. But it didn't always help. When she passed Slytherins in the hall and Severus was one of them, she could feel his eyes burn into her back. She ignored him and told no one about what really had happened that evening of the ball.

December went by and the winter seemed to losing his grip. In the middle of January, James had quidditch practice and Sirius would go with him. It gave Lily and Miranda the time to spend some time together, something which they had not done in a while.

While they were walking through the snow towards the lake, Lily was talking about James his flying.

"You know, he was always arrogant about that, but he can fly, Miranda. If you just look at him during training… I wished I could fly that well," Lily sighed.

Miranda smiled. Flying was one of the few things she could do better than Lily.

"I'm sure your kids will do great with such a father," she said teasingly.

Lily turned red.

"Miranda! Why do you say such things?"

"Lily," Miranda stopped and turned to face her friend, "I've seen you two. You belong together. You both love each other so much… I just know this is a thing that will last."

Lily smiled and grabbed Miranda's hand.

"What about you and Sirius then?"

Miranda sighed and started walking again. Lily frowned and followed her friend.

"I do care about him, Lily. I might even say that I love him. And I do know that he cares about me, but I think he won't be the perfect boyfriend for long," Miranda started, the doubt clear in her voice.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked confused.

"Lily, we know how he's like. He likes those girls hanging around him. He ignores them know, but I've got a feeling that once he known that I'll never leave him, he won't ignore them any longer," Miranda answered.

Lily could hear the fear in her friend's voice and worried she made Miranda stop.

"Have you talked about this with him?" she asked.

Miranda shook her head.

"No, I can guess his reaction. He would say that it wasn't true and all the rest, but I still wouldn't believe him. I would always be scared, you know. I never felt that with Severus," the last sentence wasn't meant for Lily to hear, but she did hear and she bite on her lip.

"Miranda please, can't you forget him completely?" she asked desperate.

"No," Miranda's voice was calm and that surprised Lily, "I can't forget him, Lily. Do you know why not? Because he kissed me at the ball. Because he was jealous at the ball. Because that means he still cares about me."

Lily's face lost all color.

"What?" the surprise in Lily's voice made Miranda smile. It sounded just like hers, "But, why didn't you tell me?"

"Lily, you always hung around James. Do you know what Sirius would do if he ever found out?" Miranda's voice got a hint of panic and Lily understood why she had kept it a secret.

"I understand," she muttered, "But … did you kiss him?"

Miranda gazed at Lily.

"What do you think?" she asked calmly.

Lily gazed at her and stared deep into her best friend's eyes.

"I think you didn't, Miranda," Lily answered with a smile.

Miranda smiled back and continued their walk.

"Indeed, I didn't kiss him back. He caught me completely by surprise. After all he has said and done, it's just so confusing."

"You could say that," Lily responded.

They stopped talking for a while and when they arrived at the lake, they both took a seat on the grass.

"Miranda, there's something I been wanting to ask to you," Lily started, her tone serious.

Miranda looked at her and smiled.

"Sure, go ahead. You know you can ask me anything."

"Well, it's about what you said earlier. Having children and all," Lily paused and played with a lace of her shoe, "I've been thinking a lot about that. We don't live in safe times, Miranda. Your father and uncle… I shocked me deeply and … I fear those things can happen to me and James as well. We are both determined to fight against that dark lord."

Miranda froze and Lily could see fear in her friend's eyes. She gave her friend a friendly poke in the arm and smiled.

"Miranda, would you have expected something else?"

Her friend shook her head, but Lily could see that she didn't like where this conversation was going to.

"Well, it could always happen that they would kill us. Kill me and James," Miranda became paler and Lily felt bad about this, but she had to know, "If I have children, I don't want them to be left with my family. You know Petunia. She would make their lives a living hell! So, I want to know if you would protect them. If you could tell them who I was, how James could fly and all of that…"

Lily had been staring at the lake while she had told this, but know she turned to face Miranda. In her friend's eyes were tears and Lily had to fight against her own.

"Can you swear to me, Miranda, that you would protect my children? That you would love them and tell them everything?" Lily knew she sounded slightly desperate, but she was honestly worried about this. Miranda was the only person she would trust her children with.

Miranda bite her lip and then nodded.

"I swear that Lily. If you ever would be death," Miranda's voice trembled, "Then I will care for your children as if they were my own."

Lily smiled and grabbed Miranda to give her a hug.

"Thanks Miranda," she whispered, "I knew I could count on you. And I swear the same to you. If anything would happen to you, any child you have with Sirius or with any other guy for that part," they both grinned, "Then I will care for them and protect them."

They held each other for a while and then let go. They walked back towards the castle, but said nothing. When they arrived at the Great Hall, Miranda said:

"You do know you can't leave me right? I seem to be a complete idiot when it comes to men, so without you, I would probably be hurt ten times more."

Lily laughed.

"If it's up to me, I'll never leave you, Miranda! And we'll find your prince. Don't worry about that. After all, you're the girl that got a kiss from two different guys at the same day. You'll have so many lovers around you; you won't be able to choose!"

"Oh please, no!" Miranda said, with a smirk, "I can't even choose between two guys, let alone between more!"

They both laughed and walked to their table. What they didn't see, was Severus who had heard their conversation and now was standing completely confused in front of the door. It seemed like his worries had slipped through the bathroom door, straight to him…


	21. Chapter 21

_Note from the author: Hi guys, I know you've al been waiting impatiently for this part, but because of an error that occured each time I tried to edit this story, I wasn't able to put it up sooner. I hope you all enjoy reading this one. I do not know yet when Chapter 22 will be up. I'm feeling slightly sick and I can't really focus on my writing right now. I will do my best, since you all have written so many reviews. Thank you._

_Cheerio,_

_Aribeth_

* * *

Miranda's words came true, faster than she had thought. January and February went by without any particular events, but when spring finally arrived in March, something changed.

Students became more nervous, because the end of the year was close by. It was time to stop studying and to practice everything they had learned in the real world.

The growing threat of Lord Voldemort was also in the mind of every seventh year. More people went missing and families were torn apart by the many deaths he already had caused. Miranda's mother got attacked, but had been strong enough to protect herself. She was now hiding somewhere in Ireland; Miranda had no idea where.

The ministry was in bad need of more and more aurors and many students were thinking of becoming one. Yet, becoming an auror wasn't easy and only the best were selected. The library was filled with more than the usual amount of students who were trying to study as much as they could. Miranda was one of the few students who weren't nervous at all. She had already made plans for the coming years. She would travel around England and study with many known sorcerers who worked with magical creatures. After those years she would come back to Hogwarts and apply for a job.

Lily and James were thinking of joining the Order of the Phoenix. Lily had tried to persuade Miranda to do the same, but Miranda had refused the offer. She was scared and she wasn't ashamed to admit it. Because of her refusal, the first cracks appeared in her relationship with Sirius. He wanted to destroy Voldemort and could not understand why Miranda didn't want to do the same. When people were whispering that some Slytherins of the Seventh Year would join Voldemort, a thought crawled into Sirius 'mind…

One afternoon, Miranda and Sirius had gone to the library to do some studying. Sirius had only reluctantly agreed to go with her and it should have been a sign for Miranda to know that Sirius wasn't at all happy.

When Miranda noticed that Sirius wasn't paying attention to any of his books, she decided to ask what was wrong.

Sirius glared at her and then said:

"I should ask the same thing to you."

Miranda hadn't a clue about what he was talking and laid her quill down.

"I don't understand, Sirius. What's wrong?" she asked, worried.

Sirius looked away from her and opened a book.

"I don't want to talk about it," he mumbled.

Miranda frowned and then pulled his book away.

"Listen to me Sirius; this is only going to work if you're going to tell me what's wrong! I can't read minds, you know. And I don't mind if you want to tell me something I don't like to hear," Miranda said, while she looked straight into his dark eyes.

Sirius sighed.

"Fine then. Why don't you tell me why you don't want to join the Order?" he asked, while he leaned back against his chair.

"I told you, I'm scared. You, James and Lily... You've got what it takes to do the right thing, to fight against him. But me? Defence against the dark arts isn't really my best course, is it? And after all what has happened..."

"Well, that's it, isn't it?" Sirius interjected, "Your father and uncle are murdered by him and your own mother has to hide herself so she won't get hurt either. I would think that you would at least have the guts to defend her."

Miranda's face lost all colour. She looked away from him and felt an ache go right through her. So this was what everyone was thinking about her! They thought she didn't want to defend her own mother! She would do everything to prevent her mother from getting hurt, but entering the order would mean that she would put her life and the life of her mother in danger by fighting against him. She had much respect for every member of the Order, but she just couldn't do it. She wasn't good in using defensive magic. Her interests lay with animals and plants, not with disarming wizards or paralysing them!

"Well, what do you have to say about that?" Sirius asked, harsh.

Miranda looked back up to him and gathered her strength. This was going to be a tough struggle, she was sure of it.

"Like I said, I'm not good in using that kind of magic. And secondly, joining the Order would mean that I would put her life at risk," Miranda reasoned.

Sirius's look was an unbelievable one.

"Are you saying that you two would be better off if no one would fight against him?" he asked, unbelievable.

"No! I'm saying that you should leave the fighting to those who are good at it. Otherwise you only get more innocent victims. A bad wizard with a wand can do more bad things than a good wizard without one!" Miranda said, frustrated.

She wanted him to understand, but somehow she knew he would never understand her.

"That's a pathetic excuse," Sirius snapped. He stood up from his seat and looked down at her. She could see the disgust in his face and she was shocked to see it.

"I know why you really don't want to fight against him," Sirius continued.

Miranda rose from her seat as well and gave him an angry look.

"Really? Why don't you enlighten me then, since I don't seem to have a clue about it!"

"The only reason why you don't want to fight is because Snape is probably one of his death eaters. The thought that you could hurt him..."

"How dare you?" Miranda interrupted, her voice cold, "Is that what you think of me? If Severus would attack anyone of us, even if he would attack you, I would defend you with my life."

Sirius looked at her and Miranda could see that he didn't believe her.

"Believe what you want to, Sirius. I don't give a damn. I know that truth, and that's all that matters to me."

She grabbed her books and walked away from him. Before she left him, she turned around and said:

"If you truly believe everything you just have said, then you never knew me at all, Sirius. And that hurts me more then I could tell."

She saw he wanted to say something, but she turned around and left the library. She didn't feel any pain about leaving him there. The thought that he could believe in those things was horrific. After all she had been through... She just hated fighting. And if Severus would hurt any of her friends, then he should be careful. Miranda would give her life for all of them, even if that would mean that she would have to fight Severus. No matter what everyone thought, she would always protect those she cared about.

When she went to the common room later that day, she was greeted by James and Lily. There was a serious expression upon their faces and Miranda could already guess about what they would talk.

They went to the seats near the fireplace and sat down. Miranda could feel the eyes of both of them at her back when she placed her bag next to her and searched for a book. When she found it, she grabbed it and placed it upon her lap.

She looked up and stared straight into Lily's eyes. Miranda sighed and laid her book upon the table.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Why don't you start?" Lily asked, her tone friendly.

James leaned towards her and said, with a worried expression:

"We heard about the fight you had with Sirius. He didn't want to tell us much about it, but I can guess already about what it was."

Miranda smiled weakly.

"It was about the order," she said.

Lily frowned and then sighed.

"I should have known he wouldn't agree with you. But we do, Miranda. We understand that you aren't willing to take the risk. It's a big responsibility and you have already lost too many," she said, her voice strong. James nodded in agreement.

"Sirius is just... He cares a lot about you, Miranda. And those problems with his family and then those things about Snape..."

He got a look from Lily, but ignored it.

"I'm just saying, try to understand why he's feeling this way," James continued, a frown appeared upon his face, "I don't think he really has a problem with the fact that you don't want to join the Order..."

"Yes, he does," Miranda interjected hastily, "He thinks I feel the same way as he does, just because Severus and I..."

She went silent and shifted her gaze towards Lily. Her friend got the message and quickly went to her defence:

"We can't tell you everything about Miranda and Severus, James, but it's completely different to the situation with Sirius 'family."

James leaned back and looked at the both of them. He lifted his hands in surrender and then said:

"Just know that Sirius doesn't have it easy. He wants to cut all bounds with his family, he wants to take revenge for all the pain they have caused," James went silent and stared at the fire. He then turned around and gazed at Miranda, "I'm just curious. Why don't you want to take revenge?"

"James!" Lily said, shocked.  
"It's alright," Miranda intervened. She smiled at James and then said: "Because I don't think I would be able to. You know I'm not that good in magic as you are and it would put the lives of those I care about in greater danger. Look, I've made my decision. It's final. If you need my help, you can ask for it, but I will not join the Order. Perhaps later, but not now."

James and Lily nodded and smiled. They got up and Lily gave her a hug.

"We understand, more than you think," she whispered.

Miranda smiled and hugged her back. She would miss Lily a lot in her travels.

When she too got up from her seat, she noticed Sirius entering the common room. He walked towards James, but then saw her. Immediately he changed his route and went to the boy's sleeping room. Miranda sighed. It would take long before Sirius would forgive her.

Days passed and Sirius kept ignoring her. Miranda tried to talk to him, but most of the time he just ran away or ignored her. Other students noticed this, but said nothing about it. Miranda had no idea whether they were siding with Sirius or with her. It didn't really matter. This was between her and Sirius and between no one else.

The problem was the Sirius was never alone. She couldn't just walk into his group of friends and drag him out of it. When she finally saw him alone, she grabbed her chance and walked straight to him.

"Sirius, please. If you really want to behave like a spoiled brat, then go on and ignore me!" she shouted.

That got his attention. Sirius turned around to face her and then said:

"Me? Spoiled? How can you say such things? My family..."

"I didn't mean that," Miranda explained, while she smiled, "I just wanted to get your attention."

She saw the surprise on his face, followed by a smile. But then the smile faded and she knew he was thinking about their fight again.

"Look, Sirius. I think it's wonderful what you want to do. I respect you for it. But please, understand that I'm not that strong!" she said slightly desperate.

Sirius sighed and looked away from her.

"You are stronger then you think. But I know that Severus has something to do with this, I just feel it."

"You're wrong," Miranda said. She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards her, "Severus means nothing to me anymore. I told you, if he would attack you, I would jump before you and catch every spell he would throw to you."

Sirius smiled and squeezed her hand.

"You promise me that?" he asked, his tone teasingly.

She grinned.

"Yes, I promise," she said truthfully.

He leaned over to her and kissed her softly.

"But I'll make sure you'll never have to," he whispered.

Miranda smiled and leaned against his chest. She could feel his arms around her and it gave her a safe and warm feeling. They walked both towards the Great Hall, but before they entered it, Miranda suddenly asked:

"Why did you think Severus has joined the Death Eaters?"

Sirius froze and she could feel the tension in his body.

"I don't know if it's true. I just have heard rumours that some of those Slytherins have joined their ranks," he explained.

"I'm sure Severus hasn't," Miranda lied.

She could see the frown appearing upon Sirius' face and quickly added:

"Not that it matters to me, but if Lily would ever hear about that she would be devastated."

Sirius let her hand go and Miranda saw his eyes go cold.

"Sirius, really..."Miranda tried.

"I think you would be devastated as well. You still care for him, don't you?" Sirius asked, coldly.

"Sirius... I..." Miranda didn't know what to say. Yes, she still cared for him, but she cared more for Sirius.

"I just can't believe this. After all he has put you through! How can you do such a thing to me? At least I was honest."

Sirius' ran a hand through his hair and he made a movement towards her, but before she could do anything, Severus suddenly jumped in front of her.

"What are you going to, Black?" he asked, his voice and eyes cold.

Sirius went mad. He didn't use his wand, but jumped towards Severus. They both fell to the ground and rolled over the flour. Sirius was trying to punch Severus, but Severus was faster and was able to hit Sirius more often.

"Stop it!" Miranda yelled, "Stop it, the both of you!"

But they didn't listen to her and kept fighting. Suddenly James appeared and he immediately pulled Sirius away from Severus.

"Let me go, James. He deserves it!" Sirius yelled.

James struggled with Sirius until his friend gave up.

"I'm sure he does," James said, "but this isn't the way."

He dragged his friend away and left Miranda alone with Severus. She moistened her lips and then walked towards Severus. Severus got up from the ground and looked at her.

"Are you alright?" she asked, with a tremble in her voice.

Severus stared cold at her.

"I'm sure this was what you wanted, Miranda. Two guys fighting over you, you couldn't have it any better."

He then left her alone and Miranda felt completely overwhelmed. Was he fighting to regain her love? She could feel the hope growing again and this time she would let it grow. There was more going on then everyone believed and she would get to the bottom of this...


	22. Chapter 22

_Note from the author: Hi everyone! What at surprise it was for me to check my traffic stats this morning. So many readers, it surprises me :) I never thought the story would get so much fans! I love you all and you mean the world to me :-D Enojy reading this. Next chapter will be very interesting and the chapter after that... well, I think a lot of you will be very happy to read it :) _

_Cheerio and thank you!_

_Aribeth_

* * *

James dragged Sirius towards the Gryffindor table and pushed him into a seat.

"So, we're fighting now like muggles?" James said, while he took a seat next to his friend. When Lily saw them, she came to sit with them as well. Sirius stared at the both of them and shrugged.

"I just… I was so mad at Miranda and he was the cause of it and then he jumps out of nowhere and starts defending her! I… I couldn't think anymore!" Sirius explained, desperate.

James and Lily looked at each other. They both realized that Sirius truly loved Miranda, but they also knew that Miranda loved Severus like no one else. And now it seemed that Severus still loved Miranda. Things got more complicated and neither of them really knew what to do.

"Look," Lily started, "I understand it's hard for you. But I know Miranda, she thought really rational after the break-up with Severus. She really surprised me. I don't think she'll just jump back to Severus. Yes, she still cares for me, but Sirius, she was head over heels since our start here in Hogwarts. Such crushes don't end in a couple of days. It's possible it'll never end."

"Yeah, Sirius, look at me," James sneered, but when he saw that this didn't work, he grabbed his friend and shook him. "Come on, mate! You can't give up. Fight for her if you really want her. She'll appreciate it."

Sirius shook James' hands off him and stood up.

"It's no good, alright?" he said, while he looked away from them towards the entrance of the Great Hall, "I care deeply for her, but she doesn't feel the same. I can't live with that. Sorry."

After that, he left them. Lily sighed and stared at her hands.

"I expected this," she whispered, "Miranda… she's able to forgive Severus anything. He used her, but now I'm starting to think like she does. I mean, she thought he only used her in the beginning. But if he used her all the way through their relationship, why would he defend her like that. But why did he end it in the first place then? It's so confusing!"

James smiled and grabbed her hand.

"I'm sure it is, but I don't think we can change it. It's best if we let Miranda, Sirius and Snape handle this one," he reasoned.

Lily nodded slowly.

"I don't like it, but I think you're right. But I will talk with Miranda about this later."

James smiled.

"I hadn't expected anything else."

* * *

Miranda tried to follow Severus. At first she thought she had taken the wrong way, but then she saw him. He was leaning against the wall, with his eyes closed. His hands were clenched as fists and his head was bowed as he was trying to fight something. Miranda started to understand it all. She saw him and suddenly the truth struck her. He had protected her. His love had gone so deep that he wanted to protect her. She felt tears of happiness appear in her eyes. She slowly walked towards him. She made no noise, but he seemed to realize she was there, because he suddenly stood up and opened his eyes. His eyes narrowed when he saw her approaching.

"Come to gloat, huh?" he said, harsh.

Miranda just smiled and came closer to him. She stopped when she stood in front of him. Severus stared at her and she could see the surprise in his eyes.

"It was a lie wasn't it?" Miranda asked, softly.

Severus looked away from her and didn't answer.

"You didn't love Shayla. You still loved me."

Severus kept looking away from her.

"And… I still love you," she whispered.

That gave a response. He immediately turned his head and faced her. She could see that he doubted about what he should do. But she would make it easy for him this time. She would make the choice.

She came closer to him until her nose almost touched his. And she let herself be lost in his dark eyes.

"Severus, I missed you," she whispered, her voice filled with longing.

And then she came closer and kissed him. He didn't answer immediately, but she didn't give up that easily. This time, he would surrender to her and not the other way around!

And it worked, because she felt his arms around her and felt his lips answering hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and moved closer to him. When they finally let go, she laid her head against his shoulder. She felt tears falling from her face, but she didn't hide it.

"Miranda," Severus suddenly said. His voice was so weak, so fragile, "We… I'm not going to put you in danger. We can't… be together."

"I know," she answered, her voice a mere whisper.

They both went silent and just held each other for a while. Then Severus let go and laid hand upon her cheek.

"I used you in the beginning. I feel ashamed about it, because I know now that you deserved much better. But can you live with the fact that I am a death eater?" Severus asked.

Miranda swallowed and then looked up at him.

"I … I don't know, Severus. I really don't know. Sometimes I think I can, other times, I just…" she stopped and looked away from him, away from the hurt in his eyes.

"I understand, Miranda. But I made my choice and I can't turn back on it. It's who I am," Severus explained.

Miranda nodded and then smiled weakly.

"I know. I guess I always knew, but I just couldn't… I just didn't want to believe it," she said truthfully.

Severus smiled as well. Tenderly he stroked her hair and then gave a kiss on her forehead.

"Go back to the Gryffindor common room. We'll see each other again. I'm certain of it. But promise me one thing…"

"Yes?" Miranda asked, curious.

"Stay away from Black, or I'll do more stupid things like fighting him."

Miranda grinned.

"But I like that. It makes me feel special and it brought us back together."

Severus let her go and she could see the happiness in his eyes.

"If you'll stop kissing him, I'll show you more, so you can feel even more special," he promised.

"Deal!" Miranda hastily said.

They both laughed. Then they stopped and looked at each other.

"I don't want to go," Miranda whispered.

"Me neither," Severus sighed and squeezed her hand, "But we have to, because I won't let anyone hurt you."

Miranda swallowed and then nodded. She leaned towards him and gave him a kiss.

"Until later, Severus," she whispered.

"Goodbye Miranda," Severus said.

She turned around and left him. The more she moved from him, the more she felt her heart ache. It wasn't fair at all. James and Lily could be happy together, but she couldn't be with Severus. She took a deep breath and continued towards the stairs. She had to tell Sirius it was over and that wasn't an easy task to do. After all, she had truly cared for him. But those feelings were burned away by the kiss Severus had given her. Now she only felt the flame of her love for him inside her and it made her feel strong. She would solve this mess, no matter what it would take from her.

When she arrived in the common room, she didn't see Sirius. She looked everywhere, but the only one she found was Remus. She decided then to talk with him.

"Hi, Remus!" she said.

Remus looked up and Miranda noticed how pale he looked. He seemed to be sick again, like a month ago. She felt really sorry for him. His mother was often sick and he as well. It wasn't easy for him to study at Hogwarts, but he had never given up.

"Hi Miranda," he said, "You seem to be in need of a good chat?"

"You could say that," Miranda replied, with a smile. She took at seat and robbed her hands.

"It's about Sirius," she started.

"You want to break-up with him," Remus interjected.

Miranda, surprised, stared at him and didn't answer immediately.

"It isn't really a surprise for me. You were never that into your relationship. I guess you still have feelings for Severus," Remus continued.

"How…?" Miranda whispered.

Remus shrugged and smiled.

"It isn't hard to figure out for someone who knows you, Miranda. Sirius is a bit blinded by his love for you, but after this afternoon I'm sure he'll see it now," Remus explained, "He will be devastated, rest assured. But this is better than to continue a lie, is it not?"

Miranda nodded softly.

"You're absolutely right, Remus. I should have talked to you sooner. Lily and James kept telling me to stay with Sirius and to make him happy, but it never felt truly right, like it did with Severus."

Remus smiled.

"They just want you to be happy, Miranda. They think you'd best be happy with Sirius, but I don't think so. The period when you were with Severus, you were different. Your grades were good, you were happy. You had a certain glow around you, as if nothing could touch you. Even after your uncle's death, your still looked strong. As if nothing could touch you."

He sighed and leaned back against his seat.

"I wish I was you, Miranda," he suddenly said.

"Why?" Miranda asked surprised, "Aren't you happy?"

Remus shrugged again and looked away from her.

"It's not easy being me, Miranda. I can't explain it to you, but just believe me."

"I believe you," Miranda immediately said, "You never bullied Severus and that means something to me. You're a good person, Remus. I hope you'll find your happiness one day."

"Thank you," Remus answered sincerely.

She stood up and left him. At that very moment, Sirius entered the common room. She walked straight to him, but didn't return his nervous smile.

"Sirius, I'm going to be honest with you. You were right and I was wrong. I care for you, very much, but it just isn't enough. It wouldn't be fair to stay with you. I would only hurt you and I couldn't bear the thought that you would get hurt because of me," she confessed.

She could see the pain in his eyes and she tried to comfort him.

"You made me happy, Sirius, and I'll be forever thankful for that. I hope we can remain friends, because you are a great friend. James is lucky to have you," she continued.

Sirius just stared at her and didn't say anything.

"I don't know what else I can say," Miranda said, truthfully, "I am really sorry, Sirius."

"I know," Sirius suddenly said, "That's the way you are, it's why I care so much about you."

He sighed and with a self mocking tone he said:

"I always thought I was better at everything then Snape. Guess I was wrong huh?"

Miranda didn't know what to say and stared at her feet. She felt awful. Sirius had tried to do everything for her and now she did this. In another time, another place, a place without Severus, then she would have been happy with him. But now, there was Severus and she would never be able to love Sirius as much as he deserved.

"We'll stay friends, Miranda," Sirius continued. Miranda looked up and saw that his eyes looked tenderly at her, "I will always be there for you. I think you know that. I hope I even can be forgiving as you, Miranda, but I don't think I will be. Dark arts, are dark arts, no matter if they join the death eaters or not."

Miranda swallowed and nodded.

"I know. I still doubt, Sirius, if that comforts you."

He smiled.

"It does thanks. I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

Miranda nodded. Sirius walked past by her and went to the boys' bedroom. With a sigh, she took a seat next to the fireplace and stared into the fire. She had Severus' love, which she always wanted. But she couldn't be with him, so nothing has really changed. When she saw James and Lily walking in, while they held hands, she felt jealous. She wished she could just walk with Severus like that. If that dark lord had never existed, then everything would have been perfectly fine. But now he was there, and she just had to deal with it. Like she had done after her father's death. She was certain of one thing though. Whatever _he_ would do, he would never be able to take Severus' love away from her.


	23. Chapter 23

_Note from the author: Hi everyone! Thanks again for all the nice reviews. The story comes almost to an end. But there's always the sequel after that of course ;) Enjoy reading this, I really enjoyed writing it! :-D_

_Cheerio,_

_Aribeth_

* * *

Miranda hurried through the corridor towards the Great Hall, when she stumbled and dropped all of her books. She bent down to get them, when a shadow fell over her. When she looked up, she saw Lily. Miranda got up, with her books, and smiled.

"Lily, I… I'm a bit late," Miranda said, while she placed some of her books in her bag.

"I can see that," Lily frowned when she saw how many books her friend was carrying. Miranda followed Care of Magical creatures, a class that Lily did not follow. Instead she followed potions, but she still knew that one different class wouldn't mean that much extra books. She tried to look at one of the titles and read: "Transfiguration".

"Miranda?" Lily asked, while her friend was going through her stuff.

"Yes?" Miranda replied, while she set her bag down.

"We had transfiguration this morning. Why are you caring that book around? Haven't you been to the common room yet?" her friend asked, surprised.

Miranda moistened her lips, went with her hand through her hand and smiled nervous.

"Well… I... I didn't have much time…" she stuttered.

"But you left early this morning because you said you needed something from your trunk, didn't you?" Lily asked, her tone serious this time.

"Well… I didn't really get to that," Miranda answered, while she looked away from Lily's eyes. Those green eyes had the tendency to make you tell Lily everything. Miranda was sure her friend wasn't half as convincing if she didn't have them.

"And why not?" Lily asked, while they both started walking to the Great Hall.

Miranda shrugged.

"I had some things to do in the library," she mumbled, while she went through a book about dragons.

"Again?" the unbelief in Lily's voice was so obvious that Miranda blushed. She didn't seem to fool her friend at all.

"Miranda, are you trying to stay away from us because of Sirius?" Lily asked, while she laid her hand on top of Miranda 's arm to stop her friend.

Miranda, surprised took a step back.

"No, of course not. Sirius and I talked it through. We're friends now and that seems to work quite well," Miranda explained.

Lily looked at her friend closer. Miranda looked slightly fatigued, but her eyes sparkled and she looked healthy. Her friend definitely was not sick. But what was going on then? Miranda had disappeared regularly this week. Between classes she could just leave Lily in the Great Hall and disappear in the many corridors of Hogwarts. She always told Lily that she had to go to the library or to some professor and Lily had never been suspicious. But this afternoon Miranda had told her that she was going to the common room to get a new book and that she had a meeting with Professor McGonagall after it. Yet, Lily had seen Professor McGonagall in the hall, talking with Professor Sprout. It had made Lilly worry, because Miranda would never lie if it wasn't something serious. Yet, Miranda and Sirius got along and neither of them had said anything anymore about their break-up. Sirius was already dating someone else, but that didn't seem to bother Miranda either. For Lily only one thing remained: Severus Snape. But Lily could not believe that her friend would not tell her everything about Severus. If she was hiding that, she was hiding it for a very dangerous reason, Lily was sure of it.

Lily decided that the best thing to do was to ask it straight.

"Are you seeing Severus again?" Lily asked, innocently.

Miranda's book fell from her hands and Miranda went pale. Lily could see that she had been right. This was about Snape and it didn't even surprise her. After all, only Severus could make her friend lie to her.

"I take it that's a yes?" Lily continued, "Since when has this been going on? And why haven't you told me?"

Miranda looked away and grabbed her book from the ground. She stared at the cover and went over it with her hand.

"We're back together," she whispered, "Since I broke up with Sirius."

"I see," Lily said, while she placed her hands on her hips, "And you think that's the best thing to do right now? Miranda, is he the reason why you broke up with Sirius? Had he done something?"

Miranda looked up and Lily was shocked to see the devotion in Miranda 's eyes.

"Yes, he fought for me, Lily. He protected me. He still loved me and I still love him. I couldn't lie to Sirius anymore and by the way, I promised Severus that I wouldn't be in Sirius 'presence anymore."

Lily's mouth fell open.

"What?" she asked, completely overwhelmed by Miranda 's words, "Are you insane? After all he has done to you."

"He did it for me, to protect me. But you can't tell anyone else. His Slytherin 'friends do not like me much," Miranda pleaded.

Lily sighed and looked away. Gods, she could use James right now. Maybe he was able to talk some sense into Miranda. But then she doubted that. Her friend was blinded by love and the only one who could heal her from that was the person that caused it.

"I won't tell anyone, Miranda," Lily gazed back at her friend and then continued: "But what are you going to do? Is it serious or …"

"Of course it is," Miranda interjected hastily, "I wouldn't want anything else. We just haven't figured out what we're going to do when school is over."

"You're still going to take that trip, aren't you? You worked hard to get it," Lily said.

Miranda nodded.

"Of course. But let's just not talk about it, right now. We still got months to go. How are you and James?" Miranda asked. She wanted to change subjects desperately.

She was surprised to see a blush appear on Lily's face.

"Well, it's actually great. Everything is going as planned. There is something I want to discuss with you. Can we talk somewhere private?" Lily whispered.

"Sure. Let's go to Room of Requirement where Sirius always talked about," Miranda suggested.

"No, no!" Lily immediately said, "We shouldn't go there."

Miranda frowned.

"Why not?" she asked surprised.

"That's what I want to talk about…," Lily said, heavily blushing…

* * *

If Miranda had known that this was where Lily had wanted to talk about, she would have said no. This was the part of a relationship where she wanted to stay away from. Yes, it had been in her head for quite a while now, but she knew it wasn't possible. She had to think about herself, about her principles. Lily was in a different position, however. She had met the guy of her dreams and probably would marry with him and get children. She wouldn't give up her principles.

Miranda sighed and looked away from Lily. Now she understood why her friend didn't want to go to the room of requirement. Those who knew about it, had only gone there for one reason, and one reason only. Now that she knew that reason, she would think again before she would walk back into that room.

"Well, what do you say, Miranda?" Lily asked nervous," Is it too soon?"

Miranda 's face reddened. She wasn't in a position to answer that question. She wasn't Lily. Lily had to make her own decision whether she wanted to do this or not.

"Look, Lily. If you're ready for it, then it's not too soon. But don't forget that things can change easily," Miranda reasoned.

"So you think I should wait?" Lily asked.

"I didn't say that. I said that you have to determine whether you're ready for it or not," Miranda corrected.

Lily nodded and rubbed in her hands. Miranda could tell that her friend had already given this much thought. Which was normal, since Lily was a rational person. Her friend made lists of everything and was the only one with complete notes. She thought everything through and only decided when she was absolutely sure. Miranda wouldn't expect her to do things differently now.

"Would you do it with Severus?" Lily suddenly asked.

Miranda almost fell off her bed. This wasn't exactly the question she had expected to hear, but then again, she had never thought that she would have this conversation with her friend either.

"I…I don't know…," Miranda stuttered.

"Really?" Lily said surprised, "But you love him so much. It's normal that when you're together for so long that you desire for each other. Or am I wrong?"

Miranda's face became even redder and Lily grinned.

"Miranda, please. It's normal if you talk about your first time with me! We're best friends! We can talk about everything."

"I just didn't know that that would include you jumping into bed with James Potter, that's all," Miranda muttered.

"Don't say it like that!" Lily said, with a smile, "But I can see you've given it a thought as well. We're 17, Miranda. It's normal that we are curious about that part of a relationship. Haven't you heard it yet?"

"What?" Miranda asked curious.

"Well, Sirius his …" Lily immediately stopped when she knew what she was about to say.

"I know," Miranda hastily said, "Well, I guessed it actually. With all those girls around him, he would be the first to do such a thing. I don't mind it. It's not like I would do _it_ with him, Lily. That's such a … wrong thought."

They both laughed.

"Well, I'm glad that you're over him. But back to the question. Would you do it or not? And I want a straight answer, Miranda!" Lily ordered.

"Yes," Miranda whispered.

Lily didn't say something, but just went to her friend and hugged her.

"Thanks. That's all I really needed to know. You've helped me a lot, Miranda," Lily whispered.

"You do know… how to… protect yourself right?" Miranda asked nervous.

"Yes, Miranda. I'm not stupid. I'll be careful."

After that Lily left her alone and went back to James. Miranda laid down on her bed and looked at the ceiling. She knew now that whenever she would see Severus again, this would go through her head.

* * *

The next day, Miranda walked alone through the castle. She passed students and professors and said hello to most. But still, she had never felt as alone as she felt now. Lily was taking a huge step with her relationship and Miranda wanted to do the same, but wasn't able too. She stared at her feet and just kept walking. She wanted to find a solution, a way to change everything for the better. When the sunlight hit her, she looked up and found herself out of the castle to her own surprise. Spring was her most beloved season. Flowers were growing and the heat of the sun was not too much to take. Birds were singing their song and the wind blew slowly through the air. She could smell the promise of more warmth and she quickly walked to the lake. She took a seat next to the water and stared into it. She saw an image of herself and stared in wonder at the person she had become. Only three years ago she had lost her father and yet now, a strong self-assured person was looking back at her. A person who had made a choice, for better or worse. She smiled. Whatever Severus would do, she would stick with him. She would not be able to be with him the next year, but just the thought that he loved her was enough to keep her going. She leaned back against the tree and closed her eyes. _"Thanks father. I think you sent him to me and I'll ever be grateful for it."_

She heard footsteps and quickly opened her eyes. She had to look up to see who it was and smiled when she saw Severus standing next to her.

"I didn't know that we could see each other like this," she said, teasingly.

He took a seat next to her and laid his arm around her shoulder.

"Neither did I, but professor Slughorn is paying a visit do the dungeon and I was one of the few who could leave before he would start his lecture again," Severus explained.

He stared at the lake at well and Miranda noticed how pale he looked. No matter how much time he would walk in the sun, he would always look like that. She knew he was doubting a lot, but she also knew that he had made a choice and that she had to live with it. Suddenly he turned to face her and came closer.

"I want to kiss you," he whispered, his voice longing.

"Then do so," she whispered back, while her blue eyes met his.

With a smile he leaned towards her and kissed her and Miranda felt stronger than ever. It was time to make another choice and Miranda already knew which road she had chosen…


	24. Chapter 24

_Note from the author: Well, here is the new part. I had much fun writing it, but I think Lisa had even more fun to correct it :d _

_Thanks everyone for reading my story and reviewing it. For two weeks now I've been so happy and it's all because of you. I never thought this story would have so many readers and really, thank you very very much. It means a lot. _

_About the end of the story: I think I'll write two or three more chapters, I'm not sure. I just started writing the nex part, but I know myself and I hate to finish a story so it might take a while before the next part is up. I'll do my best though, you deserve that at least. _

_Last thing: The error is still on. Many authors can not post chapters. I'm one of those who can post chapters because I am able to pass the error by. :) So if anyone of you is waiting impatiently for an update from someone else, please understand that is not their fault. It's the fault of the site and I hope they fix it soon!_

_Enjoy this one and let me know what you think!_

_

* * *

_

When Lily walked into the common room that evening, four weeks since their talk, Miranda already knew what had happened. She could see the glow on Lily's face, the sparkle in her green eyes, the red cheeks and the obvious smile, all signs of the pleasure she had just felt. It would take all of Miranda's strength to resist the urge to tell her friend that she did not want to hear it. It wouldn't be fair of her. After all, Lily had always been there and she had been able to tell Lily everything. This was something she just had to go through.

Lily walked towards Miranda. Although, walking wasn't really what Lily was doing. It was like she floated over the floor. Miranda made a fist of her hand and tried to think of other things. Her love wasn't that easy as that of Lily, but it made her equal as happy and that was all that mattered.

She played with a curl of her black hair and stretched her legs. She had a feeling she would sit in this chair for quite a while longer. Her friend took a seat in the chair opposite of her and just stared at her. Miranda knew that she had to be the one to start the conversation, but she didn't want to. She let Lily wait for a moment and tried to gather her thoughts. She had to be happy for her friend. Lily deserved it. She was a compassionate person, a good person and this happiness had always been hers.

"So," Miranda started slowly. Lily moved closer towards her and Miranda could tell that her friend wanted to tell everything immediately, "I guess you stopped waiting, huh?"

Lily's face reddened and Miranda knew that her friend had expected something different from her. She lifted her hand and said:

"Sorry, Lily. It's just not easy for me… I want to take all those steps too and I just can't," Miranda explained.

Her friend nodded and Miranda could see the understanding in her gaze.

"But you can still tell me everything," Miranda continued, "Who knows? Perhaps I'll learn a thing or two!"

Lily grinned and then started to tell her everything. They had been both nervous but James had urged them to take it slowly and that had worked quite well. It had only hurt a bit, after which she only had felt pleasure.

Miranda's jealousy grew even more now. She could see that the relationship of Lily and James had only grown more because of this. It had deepened and they were 'one', more now than ever. She prayed that she could ever feel the same thing with Severus. After all, he was the only one who she would give herself too. He was the only one that deserved it. Not Sirius, who was off again with a new girlfriend. When she looked up to her friend and tried to listen to everything Lily said, her thoughts drifted off to the evening where they had played in the snow. She had then felt the same desire as she felt now. She wanted him, no matter what anyone would say. She rose from her seat and didn't notice the surprised look upon Lily 's face. Her friend 's question brought her back to her senses.

"Miranda, what are you doing?" Lily asked confused.

Miranda felt the heat on her face and quickly sat down.

"I'm sorry. I have no idea what I was thinking," she muttered.

Lily came closer to her and then whispered:

"Miranda, if this is what you want, then go for it. I know now that nothing can end your love. Since love is a good thing, I doubt that sleeping with him would be something wrong. Just go for it, Miranda. Tell him you care, tell him you love him and if he feels the same then everything will be alright."

Miranda looked up and Lily could see the despair in her eyes. She felt sorry for her friend and realized that this was something which had been haunting Miranda for quite a while now.

"Go to him, Miranda. Go now," Lily ordered.

Miranda nodded, stood up and then smiled weakly.

"I'll tell you everything," she promised.

"I'm sure you will," Lily answered and then gave her friend a push in the right direction. Miranda almost flew out of the common room. At that same moment Sirius entered and Lily could see a frown crossing in his face when he saw the excitement on Miranda's face. But this time he wouldn't be able to stop her.

* * *

Miranda ran down the stairs and went to the dungeons. When they had agreed to see each other they had decided to meet in the dungeons, where few students came. She hadn't warned him that she would come, so she was surprised when she saw him there. Luckily, he was alone.

"Miranda?" She could hear the surprise in his voice.

"Severus, I just wanted to see you," she replied.

She ran towards him and hugged him. He hugged her back and she could feel his happiness in his touch. It gave her enough courage to continue.

"Severus, can I ask you something?" she whispered.

"Mmm," he said, while he kissed her cheek.

"Aren't you tired of this? All of these stolen moments in the dungeon? I want us to spend more time together, to ultimately enjoy us being together," Miranda started.

Severus let go of her and frowned.

"That's dangerous, Miranda. If anyone would see us…"

"I know, I know. Have you ever heard of the Room of Requirement?" Miranda asked, while she prayed he had.

He nodded softly.

"Yes, but…?"

Then she saw that he understood what she was trying to say. She was afraid he would say no, but then he suddenly smiled.

"That's a great idea, Miranda. We'll go to it at once," he said.

Miranda's smile disappeared. He obviously had no idea what was going on there. She closed her eyes and followed him through the dungeon. How could she tell him what she wanted this day? She couldn't just throw herself at him. They had to both agree with this, so they would both enjoy it. She heard him asking if she was alright and just nodded softly. Perhaps today just wasn't that day. She followed him up the stairs and had the strange feeling that he was leading her towards his room like all the princes did in all the love stories she had read. But she wasn't a princess and this wasn't Severus' home. When they finally arrived at the third floor, Severus froze. Miranda had been caught up in her own thoughts and bumped into him. Quickly he grabbed her and laid his hand upon her mouth.

"Slytherins," he whispered.

"We just need to walk three times around that block and then we can go in," she replied, nervous.

He nodded and followed her. They hurried and made their rounds quick. Miranda's thoughts were so focused on her stories that she had no idea what she really was wishing. When the door appeared and they both entered, they both got the shock of their lives.

The room was like a bedroom in the medieval centuries. The bed was incredibly large and filled with leaves from many red roses. Next to the bed stood a table, with on top of that two glasses and a bottle of wine. The room was filled with candles, which made it all feel even more romantic. Miranda swallowed and didn't dare to look at Severus. He would be embarrassed if he would know this where her thoughts. But when he said nothing, she turned around and gazed at him. She was surprised to see him looking embarrassed.

"Severus?" she asked.

He slowly moved towards her so he could face her.

"I'm sorry… I had no idea where I was thinking about..," he stuttered.

Miranda giggled, which made him frown.

"Miranda?" Severus asked surprised.

Miranda couldn't hold it any longer and started to laugh.

"Oh Severus," she said, while tears role down her cheeks, "We both were thinking the same thing, but neither one of us dared to say it! It's so typical us."

Upon Severus's face a smile slowly appeared and then he started to laugh as well. He laid his arm around her waist and they both walked towards the bed. When the sat on it, Miranda played with the leaves and smiled.

"What are we going to do now, Severus?" she asked.

"What do you want to do, Miranda?" Severus asked seriously. He tenderly stroked her cheek and she could see the desire in his eyes. Gods she wanted him. Right here and now. This room saved them from the rest of the world. It was the perfect place to show her love for him. It was the only place where she could do just that. She touched his face and then whispered:

"I want you. Completely."

His eyes darkened, not because of anger, but of passion…of desire and longing. She reached towards him and touched his lips.

"Kiss me, Severus," she ordered softly, she could hear the huskiness in her voice.

He came closer to her and then kissed her. Their kiss deepened and Miranda felt herself falling on the bed with Severus on top of her. His hands slowly moved from her shoulders towards her waist. He stopped kissing her and stared deeply into her eyes.

"Are you absolutely sure?" he whispered, his voice thick with desire, his one hand still trailing lightly on her sensitive skin.

She nodded with certainty. It was enough for him to let himself loose. He started to kiss her neck and moved down from there. Everywhere he had planted a kiss she could feel heat. She wanted to remove her clothes, wanted to be freed from the fire inside her. A feeling down in her stomach started to stir and her hands moved over his body, while she tried to remove his clothes. But he grabbed her hands and placed them back upon his chest.

"Slowly, my dear," he whispered, his warm breath fanning her lips, heightening her pleasure.

She moaned and sought his mouth. Her mouth slashed over his desperately, as she pushed him onto his back. Before he had a chance to recover she slid her way on top of him. Her now lose hair cascaded over her shoulder, lightly brushing against his face. He grabbed it tenderly and played with it.

They both stared at each other and Miranda could see that at this moment he wasn't thinking about Lily, he was just thinking of her. She kissed him slowly, deliberately while slowly opened the buttons of her blouse. She moved back from the kiss and watched as his eyes traveled from her face towards her breasts. When she removed her blouse, she grabbed his hands and placed them upon her body her eyes never leaving his face.

He moistened his lips and she could feel desire filling him completely where she straddled him. He wanted her badly, she could see it in his face and feel it from his body. He leaned up a bit and removed his vest. Slowly she stroked his chest reveling in this feel of his bare skin beneath her hand. He closed his eyes in pleasure, a soft sigh leaving him. She leaned down kissing him slowly her lips traveled to his neck and then to the rest of his body that had been bared for her. He shivered as he felt her lips upon his heated flesh, he moaned softly as her mouth moved to a new place on his sensitive skin.

"Miranda," he moaned.

She didn't respond instead she unbuckled his pants. She removed them slowly, while she caressed his legs. When she threw his clothes away, he just laid there in his boxer short and she could see the desire right there.

"My turn," he suddenly said, his voice thick with desire. Miranda shivered at the change in his voice.

He pulled her down and kissed her neck, while his hands moved over her bra. Moments later her skirt was off as well and the only thing they both where wearing was their underwear.

"Severus, I want you," she whispered.

He removed her underwear and his and then slowly kissed her breasts. She moaned and pushed her hips towards his body. He slowly glided his hands over her body, until he reached her most intimate spot. When his fingers entered her, she let out a cry of shock and pleasure, but he kissed her and let her feel all the pleasure he had to offer her. When she lay there, spent, he moved over her and laid on top of her.

"Are you absolutely sure?" he asked again, his voice hoarse as he tried to restrain himself for her.

"Severus," she whispered, "If you stop now, I'll kill you."

He smiled and then kissed her again. She opened her legs for him and felt his manhood between her legs.

"Severus, please…," she pleaded.

He answered her plead, and entered her. She felt pain going right through her and cried out again, but this time, it wasn't for pleasure.

He didn't move, but slowly kissed her and his hands went through her hair trying to sooth her. When the pain was gone, he started to move and soon she felt waves of pleasure going over her. She started to move with him and when they finally got to their moment they both cried out each other's name.

When it was over, severus rolled away from her, but she had closed her eyes and did not see where he had went to.

"Did you enjoy, my love?" he whispered suddenly, slightly teasingly.

She smiled and opened her eyes. He laid next to her and he was staring right at her.

"If I had known it would be like this, you wouldn't have been safe from me months ago," Miranda replied.

His smile grew bigger and he came closer to her and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him again.

"Let's stay here for a while longer, okay?" she whispered.

He just nodded in agreement. While they laid there, her head upon his chest and his arms around her, Miranda had never felt more whole. Severus was her one true love and he would always be…


	25. Chapter 25

_Note from the author: Hi guys, I hope you've all enjoyed the previous part. :-) Thanks for the reviews! Enjoy this!_

_PS. I can't change any properties of the story! I'm trying to change it from T to M since the previous chapter, but the error keeps occuring. I hope it's fixed soon :)_

* * *

Severus and Miranda left the Room of Requirement an hour later. They had talked a lot about their future and what they would do with their relationship. Miranda had promised him she would always be there for him, but had also told him that she wanted a real relationship. She was tired of hiding in the shadows. If this love was real, then why did they have to hide it for everyone else? Severus had no straight answer for this. Miranda noticed that he only reluctantly agreed to send letters. It made her worry again. When she had asked what he wanted to do then next year, he had told her that he had no real plans. It was then that a sudden thought had struck her. He was a death eater. He would never tell her what he would do. She was the good Gryffindor girl, he the bad slytherin. There was no way that they could ever be truly together.

Slightly down, she had gone back to the c common room, only to find Lily there, anxiously waiting for her return. She told her friend everything, including the part where they had discussed the future. She had left the part out of him being a death eater, but it seemed as if Lily already knew this.

"He's not going to do anything against that evil wizard, is he?" Lily asked suddenly.

Miranda, surprised, stared at her best friend.

"I… I don't think so," she answered.

Lily nodded softly.

"I had expected this," she whispered, "After all; he always was intrigued in the Dark Arts. The fact that he now has lots of friends backing him up will only make him feel better. The years of bullying made a scar on him and it has altered him. I doubt it's for the good."

Lily sighed and looked outside. Miranda could see that her friend regretted the fact that she had ended her friendship with Severus. But then Lily's eyes became slightly cold.

"But I cannot blame James or Sirius completely. We all choose our own path and if there was any good in him, then he would fight with us. I guess he is a lost cause, Miranda," Lily said bitterly.

She then turned around to face Miranda and asked confused:

"I had no idea you had gone to the infirmary?"

Miranda frowned.

"I haven't. Why would I do that?"

Lily bit her lip and Miranda saw the anxiety in her eyes.

"What's wrong?" she asked worried.

"Miranda, please tell me you used some kind of protection."

Miranda went pale in an instant. She looked away from Lily and thought about everything that had occurred the last two hours.

"I…I didn't," she whispered.

Lily went pale as well.

"Miranda!" she walked to her friend and grabbed her arm, "You told me I had to be careful!"

"I... forgot," Miranda stuttered. She didn't listen to Lily's answer but thought about the consequences of her action. If she was pregnant… But no, it could not be. It had been her first time. Surely that would not mean that she would get pregnant, right?

"You're not even listening to me," Lily said, angry.

"I know, I'm sorry. I just keep thinking of the past two hours. Perhaps…" Miranda went silent and stared at her hands. Lily took a seat next to her and Miranda didn't have to look at her to know that a frown had crossed Lily 's face.

"It's April now," Miranda suddenly continued, "I doesn't matter what happens. No one will know."

She got up from her bed and grabbed her bag.

"I'm going to the library. Do not follow me, Lily. I need to think about this," her voice was strong, but she knew that this wasn't something fixed in a moment.

She left the room before Lily could say anything. While she ran down the stairs towards the common room, she noticed James and Sirius talking with each other. When she finally reached the last step, the two boys turned around to face her.

"I didn't know you where already back," Sirius stated, while he frowned.

Miranda swallowed, kept walking and mumbled: "I've been back for quite a while now."

When she wanted to leave the common room, Sirius grabbed her arm and made her turn around. She saw honest concern in his dark eyes and realized that the look on her face must have been a shocked one. She smiled to try to assure him she was alright.

"Are you sure everything is okay?" Sirius asked, while he let her arm go.

She nodded and then turned around.

"I need to go to the library, Sirius. I'm sorry, I can't talk right now. I forget to do something important. I'll see you later okay?" she said.

Before he could answer, she had already left the common room. She ran down the stairs, straight to the dungeons, in search of Severus. When she finally arrived in the dungeon, she heard voices. She hid herself behind a statue and tried to listen to the conversation.

"Where have you been, Snape?" someone asked.

Miranda didn't recognize the voice, but when she heard the treat into it, she almost wanted to defend Severus. Her mind however, told her that this wasn't the right thing to do. Severus would know how to handle this situation. She had to trust in him.

"In the castle," Severus answered coldly, "It's none of your concern."

"Oh, but it is, Snape," the other person said, "If you're seeing that girl again, you're going to regret it."

Miranda went pale and started to breathe heavier. This was what Severus warned her about. They were constantly checking him to make sure he wouldn't betray them. Not that it mattered if he was with her or not. He had never told her anything about his friends, or about the plans of other death eaters.

While she bit her lip, she tried to listen to Severus' reply.

"Why would I want to see her again? I told you before, it was all a game," Severus 'voice was strong and if Miranda didn't know the truth she would have been hurt by the answer. But this was the only way to protect them, to protect her.

"I don't believe you. Why did you play the game, Severus? Did you do it because you wanted to kiss a blood traitor just to see what it would do with you?" the sarcasm in his voice was so obvious, Miranda got more and more concerned. Severus didn't seem to win this time.

"Perhaps, perhaps not," Severus answered, assured. She could hear a movement and realized he had started walking.

"Like I said before, not your concern. I'm not seeing her again and that's all I'm going to tell you. And if that's not what you like, then I'll make sure that Lucius knows about your _suspicions,_" Severus continued.

"Malfoy?" the fear in the other man's voice made Miranda smile. Perhaps this wasn't over just yet.

"Indeed, Lucius Malfoy. I'm a close friend of his. I'm sure he would love to hear about your theories."

Miranda heard they stopped walking and curious waited for the response.

"I… I was wrong. My apologies, Snape. I'm sure there is no need to tell this to Lucius. I will not bother you with this again."

The footsteps were heard again and Miranda saw a boy pass her by, with a rather pale face. When Severus passed by, she came out and grabbed his arm.

"Miranda?" Severus whispered, "What are you doing here? This is dangerous."

"I know… I … I ...," Miranda stuttered. When she looked in his black eyes, she realized she could not tell him that there was a possibility that she was pregnant.

"I wanted to thank you for before," she complemented.

Severus smiled. Tenderly he laid his hand upon her face.

"No need to thank me, Miranda. I enjoyed it as much as you did."

He came closer and kissed her tenderly. Then he let her go, said goodbye and left her alone. Miranda stared at him while he left the dungeon. After he had left, she took a seat on the ground and went with her hands through her hair. How could she have been so stupid? Yes, she loved him and yes, she had wanted to make love to him, but that didn't mean she had to do something as stupid as this! She prayed she wasn't pregnant, but feared she was. After all she had been through, it would be a proper ending…

* * *

Weeks later, she ran out her bed straight to the toilet and threw up. She closed her eyes and started to cry. She knew now for sure that she was pregnant. She was carrying the child of Severus Snape and no one could ever know about it. She heard footsteps behind her and tried to hide her tears.

"You're pregnant, aren't you?" Lily whispered.

Slowly, Miranda nodded. She felt Lily's arm around her, trying to comfort her. She felt no comfort however. This was her punishment. This was what she deserved for being irrational. This was her fault for following her heart instead of her mind. If she had just told herself that it wasn't possible to make love to Severus, then this would never have happened. But she wanted him, she had longed for him and now this was the result of her lingering desire.

She clenched her hands like fists and hit the floor. What did she have to do now? She was about to take a trip after her school year. If she was pregnant, then she couldn't take the trip. All her dreams were shattered. She couldn't even marry the father of her child.

She hit the floor again and felt Lily's hand surround hers.

"Please, Miranda, stop it," her friend whispered, "We'll find a way to sort this out. You always have me, Miranda and I will never leave you. We will find a way."

Miranda sobbed and grabbed her friend. Lily's wrapped her arms around Miranda and slowly cradled her to comfort her.

"Please, Miranda, stop crying," Lily asked, despair clear in her voice.

"I just can't," Miranda muttered, "What did I do to deserve all of this?"

Lily didn't know the answer and just hugged her friend. This last year had been heavier than all their six years together.

* * *

When they were eating in the Great Hall later that day, Lily saw Severus entering the Great Hall. He walked to the Slytherin table without even looking at them. Lily knew that he couldn't do that, but somehow she had hoped he would be there to comfort Miranda. She turned around to face her friend again, only to notice that Miranda had been looking at Severus as well.

Her friend's eyes were filled with tears.

"He doesn't know, does he?" Lily asked.

Miranda shook her head and whipped her tears away. She grabbed her fork and ate a bit.

"You have to tell him, Miranda! He's the father, he deserves to know," Lily whispered, slightly upset.

"I can't tell him," Miranda replied, "It would endanger all of us. I will solve this mess, Lily, since I created it. If I hadn't been so jealous about you and James then none of this would have happened. It's my fault and my fault alone. No one else will be hurt by this."

Lily sighed and shook her head. She understood Miranda's reason but wished there was something they could do. She was sure that Severus would do everything to protect Miranda and their child. He loved her and he would never be angry. Lily also knew that Severus would take part of the blame on him. He hadn't thought of protection either and this was the result of their blind desire. Two intelligent people, put in an impossible position.

"_Gods," Lily thought, "If this is the least that those dark wizards will cause, then what will the future bring?"_


	26. Chapter 26

_Note from the author: Thanks for all the nice reviews. error is still on, so I cannnot change properties! :( Next chapter will be the last one! Enjoy!_

_Cheerio_

* * *

Weeks passed by and before the students realized it, the exam period was about to start. Miranda and Lily both were confident that they would succeed in their final year. Through the school year their points had been great and every professor they had, had assured them that they would have no problem with their exams. Miranda was glad she didn't throw up anymore in the morning. The other girls of their year had been concerned, but Lily had told them that Miranda had lots of stress with the upcoming final exams. Everyone had believed it, to the relief of both Miranda and Lily.

Lily wanted Miranda to go to the infirmary so she could be examined properly, but Miranda refused. If she would go, the school would know she was pregnant and that wasn't really something to look up to. She ignored Lily's wishes, but made sure she only ate healthy food. She went to bed in time and took care of herself. Luckily for her, she hadn't thickened much. She could hide it under her school uniform. Even Severus had no idea she was pregnant. She had tried to tell him, but every time they had met, she had to think about the conversation she had heard earlier. She just couldn't put them in danger like that. When the school year was over, she would find a way to tell him. He had to know that he was a father now.

She had thought about the journey she was going to make next year and eventually had decided to put the journey on hold for a year. She had sent the necessary letters and had given as an excuse the fact that she and her mother were in great danger. The responses were good. She would be able to travel a year later. When she told this to Lily, her friend was relieved. She had been terrified of the fact that Miranda would investigate dragons and other dangerous creatures while she was pregnant. Now, Miranda could give birth to the child and make sure it was safe, before heading off on her dangerous trip.

When Sirius heard that Miranda had put her journey off for another year, he had been curious why. When she had told him she wanted to protect her mother for a while, he had been proud of her. Miranda realized that Sirius thought she would enter the Order now. She didn't tell him the truth, but neither agreed with it. He was happy and he didn't ask more details and that was all she cared about right now.

When exams started, Miranda didn't see Severus much. She spent lots of time with the marauders and Lily. She then realized that they all have become close friends to her and that she would miss them a lot next year. During their exams, more and more bad news was heard about the outside world. People were missing and some of them turned out dead when they found them weeks later. Some people came home and saw their house burned down, with a symbol of a green skull above it. Everybody now knew that this dark wizard was more dangerous than they had expected. The name Voldemort was heard more and more and more people started calling him you-know-who, in fear that they would be discovered by his followers, the death eaters.

Miranda had heard nothing of her mother, but hadn't expected anything else. After all, it was too dangerous to send letters. If they would fall in the wrong hands, her mother would be in far more danger than she was now.

When the last exam was done, the six of them spend some time together at the lake. Miranda and Lily were discussing their future, while the other four were playing with the snitch. Well, Sirius and James were, while Remus was lying against a tree, obviously not feeling well, and Peter was staring at the other two.

"Have you spoken to Severus yet?" Lily asked, while she watched James catching the snitch.

"No, not yet. I haven't seen him in a week. He had to study hard for potions, just like you," Miranda answered, while she closed her eyes and let the warmth of the sun wash over her.

"Mmm," Lily paused and Miranda could feel that she had stopped watching James and now was looking at her, "He needs to know, Miranda."

"I know that," Miranda said, slightly annoyed, "You've been telling me that for days now. I will tell him when the right moment is here."

"And when would that be?" Lily asked, sarcastic, "You've been waiting for that since April and it still hasn't arrived. You're just afraid he would tell you he doesn't want to take up his responsibility."

"You do not know what I am afraid of," Miranda replied harsh. She immediately felt sorry and placed her hand on top of Lily's arm.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, "But… really. I can't tell you why I can't tell him. Just trust me on this one. I will tell him, I promise."

Lily sighed and then smiled softly.

"Alright, I'll stop nagging about it."

They went silent as watched the four boys. Sirius jumped to catch the snitch, missed and fell straight into the lake. They all started laughing, but when Sirius got out of the lake, he went straight after them, which resulted in all of them eventually falling into the lake as well. Completely soaked, they went to the common room, to take a shower and to put on some dry clothes. While they were walking, Sirius laid his arm around Miranda's shoulders and said:

"If you ever need me, Miranda, just send a letter, I'll be there."

"Thanks, Sirius. I'll keep you to that," Miranda answered while she smiled.

Sirius just nodded and let her go. He walked back to James and Miranda watched him while he tried to get James even more wet. With a smile she shook her head at their antics.

"_I'm glad I met you, Sirius Black," _she thought happily.

* * *

Later that evening, she left the common room in search of Severus. She was a bit early, but decided there couldn't be any harm since Severus was always in the dungeon before she was there. When she got there, he was nowhere to be found. With a sigh, she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. Tomorrow was the last day of school. She had to tell him today. She just couldn't stand the thought that Severus wouldn't know that he had a son or a daughter.

Miranda laid her hand on top of her stomach and tried to feel anything. It was too soon. You couldn't even see she was pregnant. She closed her eyes and dreamed about her future. Perhaps when you-know-who was defeated, she could marry Severus. They would form a happy family and she would be the luckiest person in the entire universe.

When she suddenly heard voices, she stepped away from the wall and searched a hiding place. She found one in a hidden corridor near the dungeon. When she tried to hear who it was, she suddenly realized that this was the second time in a couple of months that she was eavesdropping. She prayed that this time she wouldn't hear anything that would change her mind.

"So the plan is going as it should be?" someone asked.

It was a woman's voice and Miranda frowned. Who was she?

"Yes," a man answered his voice deep and strong, "He won't know what will happen to him. We first take his wife and son and then … then we take him as well."

There was a silence and then she heard someone, which made her stop breathing.

"How long do we have before he arrives?" Severus asked, with a cold voice.

Miranda felt tears coming up and fought them. She had to be strong. This was something she had pushed away but now, she couldn't. She had ignored the fact that he was a death eater. In her little world here in Hogwarts, she had forgotten that there was an evil side of sorcery. An evil side that he followed.

"You'll have to do this alone, Severus," the man answered, "_He_ wants to test you, I think. To test your loyalty to him."

Severus didn't answer. Nervously Miranda tried to get closer to them. She wanted to hear everything they had said.

"Are you sure you're up to this?" the man continued, concern in his voice.

"Yes," Severus answered, "I've done this before you know."

"Then you made the plan. You didn't kill the man," the woman interjected, "His sister is hiding now. Perhaps you can kill her daughter after the school year. She's protected here in Hogwarts, but outside… in the real world, she will not be that lucky."

No one said anything and Miranda swallowed. This couldn't be true… It wasn't about her.

"You know her, don't you? Weren't you caught with her once? I sincerely hope you don't care for her," the woman mocked.

Miranda closed her eyes and tried to think of anything else. She slowly moved to the ground and clenched her hands into fists.

"Of course not," Severus answered firmly, "The dark Lord was very pleased about my plan that day. Her uncle was killed very easily."

Miranda started crying. This just couldn't be true. He had planned it. He had planned to kill her uncle. Uncle Dan... She bit her lip and tried to keep silent. If they would discover her here, she would surely be dead in an instant.

"That is true," the other man replied, "Now; we should get back to the common room. In two days, if everything works out the way it should be, the dark Lord will be even more pleased."

"I'll just go to the toilet," Severus said, "I'll see you in the common room."

The others seemed to agree with this, because Miranda heard them walk away. She heard one pair of footsteps getting closer to her position and she knew who it was.

She closed her eyes, gathered her strength and stepped out of her hiding place. Severus' eyes darkened when he saw her and she could see that he went even paler.

"So now I know what you truly are," she whispered, her voice cold, "I should have known. I tried to push it away. Stupid me."

Severus moistened his lips, but didn't say anything.

"It ends here, Snape," she said harsh, "I don't want to know you anymore. Lily left you first and I should have followed her. What a fool I have been!"

"Please, Miranda," Severus pleaded.

"Don't, "please Miranda" me," Miranda interjected, "You don't deserve me. You don't deserve Lily. You deserved to be killed."

"You don't understand," Severus said, despair clear in his voice.

"Oh, but I do," Miranda answered, her eyes were as cold as ice, "You killed my uncle. I'll never forgive you this. I loved him Severus, I loved you and this is your way of betraying my trust? I despise of you, Snape. James and Sirius and Lily… they were all right! They told me the truth but I was stupid enough to neglect it."

She moistened her lips and came closer.

"But now _your_ plan has failed. It is over. You'll never see me again."

She turned around and left him. The more she moved away from him, the more her strength left her. When she finally was back in the hall, she started crying. She hid herself and tried to tell herself that this was the right thing to do. Only when it was past midnight, she dared to come out and walked back to the common room. Her decision was final. It was over, for good.

Severus kept staring at Miranda's back and felt a tear fall down from his face. He had thought he could have it all. But now, he had nothing.

"I love you, Miranda," he whispered.

Then he left the dungeon and went back to his friends. It was the only thing he had left and he would do anything now…


	27. Chapter 27

_Note from the author: You know, I wanted to post this after the weekend, but when I got all the nice reviews, I decided that I couldn't wait any longer. I'm really curious what you're going to say about this ending. Hopeully I can start writing "Please remember" soon. I know the ending en the beginning, but what happens between it, I still do not know for sure :-D _

_Enjoy this part and please let me know what you think! Thanks for everyone who has followed this story and has read it. Hopefully I'll hear from all of you again when the sequel is up! _

_Cheerio,_

_Aribeth_

_PS. There's a song called "He's the right kind of wrong" from Leann Rimes. It fits the story, just listen to it. I did when I wrote this last part :)_

**The Epilogue:**

She walked through the Gates. It was raining and the road before her was filled with mud. She stepped forward, her steps strong and self assured. She looked around to search for what she had come for. When she found her path, she pressed forward, faster this time.

Her wand was held in her right hand, while in the other there were flowers. They were white, which was the only color suited for this occasion. She tried to shield them for the rain, but to no avail. It did not matter, though, since the flowers would soon be gone. And she would not be here for a second time.

Her blue eyes stared through the rain as if she saw things that others could not see. If someone would gaze at her now, they would think she was made of ice. Her face was pale, her lips red and her eyes blue as the sky… on a hard winter's day.

The black cloak she was wearing made her only look paler, but she was mourning and black was the only right color then. She would wear other colors one day, but not this day. This day would always be black. This day she would always remember as the day she had lost everything.

She heard footsteps behind her and turned around quickly. She pointed her wand towards the person who was walking towards her and sighed when she realized it was Thomas.

"Miranda! We have to hurry," he said.

He walked towards her, but she set a step back and kept a distance between them.

"I told you not to disturb me!" she spat.

His green eyes became cold and he stopped moving towards her.

"I know this is hard for you," he started.

"Just stay away," she interjected, "I don't want you here. When it's over, I'll follow you. But right now, I need to do this. I need to end this."

The man in front of her shook his head and sighed. He went with his hand through his blond hair and looked away from her. Miranda could see that he wanted to stop her, but she also knew that Thomas understood why she did this. He loved her very deeply, but knew she could never return that love.

He had been the auror, ordered to protect her mother. Miranda had met him when she had come back from Hogwarts. He wasn't much older than her and they had instantly become friends. When they had gotten into trouble, he had been there for her. He had protected her against the death eaters, even though it wasn't necessary. The anger and hatred she felt for Severus was a fuel for certain spells she hadn't been able to wield years ago.

He had brought her to another hide out, where she had given birth to her son, Hugh. Thomas had loved the child and the boy had seen Thomas like his father. His dark black eyes however, always showed his true father. Whenever she had looked at Hugh, she had seen Severus and it had hurt her. She loved her child tremendously, but there were times she wished she hadn't been so foolish to make love to Severus. It had made a bond between them, a bond she could not break however she tried.

Her mother hadn't been angry when she had told her. She didn't ask why the relationship ended, but had made Miranda promise she would always love her child. It wasn't the child's fault that everything had ended like this. Miranda had no trouble promising that. There was only one to blame, and that was her.

Miranda closed her eyes and tried to fight the pain. It still hurt. Even after three months, the pain was a raw as in the beginning. Thomas, who saw she was in pain, hurried towards her and hugged her.

"Miranda, my dear. I wish I could have stopped you from doing this…," he whispered.

She smiled and shook her head.

"No, Thomas. I need to do this. I need to say goodbye. Please… It's the last thing that I have to do," she pleaded.

He bit his lip, but then nodded. He let her go and walked away. Miranda sighed. She turned around and kept walking again. She passed graves of people she had never heard of and suddenly wished that she had known them. Each one of them had been loved. Each one of them probably had children. Yet, now, no one thought of them.

She walked slightly faster and then finally arrived at two new graves. One of the tombstones read…

_Here lies Sara Bloom, widow of Hugh Bloom and mother to Miranda Bloom. She died defending those she loved and she will be missed by many. Rest in peace, mother._

Miranda felt tears falling down from her face, but didn't bother whipping them away. Her mother was gone. She still saw her mother falling when the spell had hit her. She had tried defending Miranda and Hugh, but the death eaters had outnumbered them. Thomas had tried everything but had been knocked unconscious and Miranda had been occupied with getting him to safety. When she had finally hid him in a nearby house, she had turned around only to see her mother falling down. Dead.

She turned to face the other grave and fell down on her knees. She cried out and threw the flowers away. The tombstone read…

_Here lies Hugh Bloom, son of Miranda Bloom. His short life was a moment of joy for all those who loved him. May he find a better life in death._

Miranda cried. The pain… she couldn't bare it. The young boy had only wanted to go back to his grandmother. He had not realized the danger. He had been innocent, completely innocent. Miranda had run straight to him, but had been too late. The death eater, Miranda would hate her forever, had laughed and had pointed her wand at him.

"This is what you get when you're messing with the wrong kind, traitor," Bellatrix had yelled.

Then a green light and the child was gone. Miranda had been frozen. Thomas had saved her and had brought her away. She had said nothing for days and Thomas had believed she would die as well. But then, after a week, she had spoken again. Her voice had been cold and every warmth that there had been in her blue eyes, had disappeared.

That was three months ago. Now she was back. She hadn't been at the funeral. The ministry had found it too dangerous and they probably had been right. But Miranda felt bad that she hadn't been able to say any last words to those she had loved so much.

"I miss you both so much," she whispered. She grabbed the flowers and places them on top of the graves.

"I wish I could tell you of your father, Hugh," she continued, "But I think you would be ashamed. I am. He still doesn't know you. He still doesn't know he was a father for a short while."

She sighed and stood up. She tried to remove the mud from her clothes and then gazed back at the graves.

"He will know now. He has the right to know, even if he was one of those who tried to kill you and your grandmother," Miranda wasn't sure he had been there, but he was a death eater. He could have stopped it, but he hadn't. Another thing she wouldn't forgive him for.

"It is time for me to go now. I don't think I'll come back. _He_ is gaining more and more power and I fear there is little we can do to stop him. I'll fight him, forever. I swear that to you. But it is too dangerous for me to come back. You are both in my heart and you are there to stay."

Miranda turned around and left the graves. When she went through the gates again, the wind blew hard enough to close them. She didn't look back when she heard the gates closing, but continued walking…

* * *

_Dear Severus,_

_You might be surprised to hear from me, but know that I am even more surprised that I am writing you this letter. Yesterday I visited the graves of those I loved so much. You took them away from me. You and only you are responsible for the pain they have gone through. You could have saved them, but you choose not to. I won't forgive you this. _

_But that is not why I write you. I write you because of all the good memories you have given me. You have made my happy, for a short period in my life and I am still grateful for it. If your dark lord hadn't lived then we would be together. Now, you follow him and in doing so you have lost all those who cared about you. _

_You also lost something else. Something you didn't even know you had. _

_Remember, that afternoon in the Room of Requirement? Those hours I will never forget. For a moment we were safe from everyone. Yet, not safe from ourselves…, Severus, you and I were fools that day. We had forgotten something very important. _

_The consequence of our stupidity, was a child. A boy, named Hugh. He was called after my father, of course. I couldn't call him Severus. That would have endangered him even more. _

_I tried to tell you I was pregnant. When I heard you talking with your death eater friends, I was there to tell you that I was carrying your child. But when I heard you talking about killing someone, I decided that you weren't the father I wanted my child to have. _

_You do have the right to know and that is why I send you this letter. You'll never meet him. Your friends killed him. Perhaps you were there when they killed my mother, I don't know. If so, then you saw him already. It was the young child, crawling towards his grandmother, because he did not understand she was just killed. _

_It hurts, Severus. I loved him so much. I miss him and I can't get him back. _

_So now you know. It is your choice whether you want other people to know this or not. You probably don't want to tell your friends. Being the father of a child whose mother is a blood traitor, probably isn't something they will like to hear. Do what you please, Severus. I don't care. _

_Miranda Bloom._

_PS. But know that I will always love you, Severus. I will always love that boy who protected me against Slytherins, who gave me precious moments, who made me feel special. I miss you. _

_I guess you really are the right kind of wrong… _

Severus stared at her last words and swallowed. He tried to fight his tears. All those months, he had tried to forget her. But now he realized he would never forget her. A son… He had had a son! A boy named Hugh. Severus closed his eyes. He had always blamed his father that he hadn't loved him much, but now he had done the same. He had turned away from his child, like his father had done.

"_Forgive me, Miranda," he thought, "Forgive me for everything."_

He stood up and hid the letter. He would never throw it away. But he would never tell anyone about it either. This was their secret, forever…

"Goodbye Miranda. I'll never forget you," he whispered.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


End file.
